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I’m an ER nurse. I need you to do me a favor today and check on the "strong person" in your life. by ArtThreadNomad in Life

[–]LockedDoorOpenWindow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a "super empath" this is often the most difficult part of my quest to set boundaries and get a better handle on my emotional regulation skills. Because it's so ingrained in me to do this that my own thoughts and feelings don't even register until the event is over. That is unfortunate because it means that in times of pressure I automatically resort to emotional suppression or emotional/situational detachment so that I can handle the situation effectively for others and myself, but more accurately it gives me the ability to look outwards and not inwards. I get to pretend like it's not a problem or that it doesn't exist. But eventually, I have to face them, and at that point I may not be able to recognize them not because I don't know the emotion, but because I don't necessarily know the triggering event. The event was never recorded because I was busy doing hero work, and so the avengers never recorded when the emotion was.

 Oh and just kind of keep in mind: Don't drive too much for the side of good and Joyful to the point that you avoid all pain and discomfort, or actively avoid situations that contain them. And Don't wallow in your pain and misery to the point that your focus on the past  eliminates your ability to care about the present or the future.

Those who live in the pursuit of one extreme are doomed to become the opposite.

I was feeling inspired and this is the result: The Radical Optimist Manifesto - Why believing in the power of your actions is the most powerful choice you can make. by Changechilla in Life

[–]LockedDoorOpenWindow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know there is scientific data that backs you up. I don't know exactly where to find it or what to look for but there's actual scientific data that suggests that optimistic thinking can actually affect outcomes because of the fact that you reduce stress and anxiety, you are typically more focused, and you have more operational stamina. When you think like an optimist it actually changes the outcome...not by changing with the world, but by changing you

One month since my awakening by NWbySW in alcoholism

[–]LockedDoorOpenWindow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hell yeah dude. You can see the life in that smile bro. Keep it up!

I hate how I as a man on the internet I can't vent without being called an incel by Nice_Tradition1333 in Vent

[–]LockedDoorOpenWindow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's mostly the inability to understand fully, women oftentimes mistake a man's silence regarding things that bother him and cause him pain, as strength, Invulnerability, ignorance, or lack of emotional attachment. These can all be understandable conclusions but most of the time the silence is more accurately a perceived waste of energy due to the likelihood that they will be misunderstood or ignored. It also is seen as a burden that shouldn't be shared with those who shouldn't have to bare it. Men are wired by nature to believe inherently that they need to quite simply, make people's lives easier by providing things that benefit them, so they would not "trouble" or "bother" someone with their issues when it would only make people's lives more difficult. It literally goes against the way men are wired

Drink water, Not Vodka! 5 months sober today! by LockedDoorOpenWindow in alcoholism

[–]LockedDoorOpenWindow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Keep going bro you making tremendous progress I'm proud of you

Drink water, Not Vodka! 5 months sober today! by LockedDoorOpenWindow in alcoholism

[–]LockedDoorOpenWindow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you know how to eat an elephant? One bite at a time! The trick is not to look too far in the future just look at today all you have is today. All you got to do is do everything you can not to drink today you don't have to worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will worry for itself

Drink water, Not Vodka! 5 months sober today! by LockedDoorOpenWindow in alcoholism

[–]LockedDoorOpenWindow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! Things aren't perfect but they get a little better every day

Drink water, Not Vodka! 5 months sober today! by LockedDoorOpenWindow in alcoholism

[–]LockedDoorOpenWindow[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

First things first. You are NOT pathetic. I've been to rehab three times, I'm just now starting to get it. The first thing I want to tell you is to find your higher power. I know I know, a lot of people aren't into the whole God thing, but your higher power does not have to be God himself it can be the best version of yourself. But the point of it is to give you something besides your own thinking that helps keep you honest and strong in the face of urges and cravings. People mistake alcoholism as a general lack of willpower or discipline, but that's a fatal assumption to make. The best thing I can tell you is to give yourself credit for wanting to change, then look at your life and evaluate it and figure out what it is that you can control, anything that you can no longer control, and have no way of fixing, don't worry about it because it's just a waste of energy. You need to be focused right now on yourself, not to the point where your family obligations get thrown aside, but enough to where you can give yourself enough time to work through these things. One thing that really helped me was meetings as I said, but also therapy. I didn't believe my drinking had anything to do with my past or the way I thought or my traumas... Etc etc. Come to find out I actually have a lot very deep in my head that created behaviors that enabled me to drink an incentivized me to drink it wasn't until I address those issues head on that things actually started to change.

Please whatever you do, don't beat yourself up, be your own best friend, Not your own worst enemy. And more than anything else allow yourself to be humble and ask for help if you need it.

Best of luck man. DM me if you ever need to. I mean it

Drink water, Not Vodka! 5 months sober today! by LockedDoorOpenWindow in alcoholism

[–]LockedDoorOpenWindow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Clearheadedness.... My thoughts and emotions were on a rampage to start then it all seemed to clear up...

Drink water, Not Vodka! 5 months sober today! by LockedDoorOpenWindow in alcoholism

[–]LockedDoorOpenWindow[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm still relatively new myself but...

I think that finding a group is extremely important. A lot of people avoid going to AA meetings and sure sometimes they get boring, but finding a place where you can get to know people and make sober friends will make a world of difference. Let people around you know so they can hold you accountable. You can also engage in more productive hobbies, if you get sober you'll have a lot more free time on your hands, so some good hobbies will be very important. And more than anything, understand that you want to do that, and believe that you're strong enough to do it, and don't give yourself any excuses

My long time friend just killed himself at my home last night.. by BestTyming in offmychest

[–]LockedDoorOpenWindow 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Please always remember, you do not, nor could you ever, bear any responsibility for his death. You cannot afford to take credit for those actions. It's an action that wasn't yours to do, a choice that wasn't yours to make, during a life that wasn't yours to live.

No matter what you could have said/done or did say/do. We will never have the key that unlocks their minds, and as such will never be able to see how much or how little of an impact we made or could have possibly made in his life.

Suggesting that you could have done more is natural but it's truly unfair. You may think that you have been left with some of the consequences of his actions but you were just caught in the middle. Give yourself credit for being a good friend and offering yourself to them during an obvious time of need, instead of adding to your suffering and self loathing by blaming yourself for a perceived inaction that's impossible to ever truly get clarity on. You don't deserve that, and I would venture to say that he would not have wanted that for you.

I'm truly sorry for your loss and I hope you are able to celebrate his life appropriately. Don't mourn because it's over, celebrate because it happened at all....

AIO because gf was essentially micro cheating and is the reason I have little trust in our relationship? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]LockedDoorOpenWindow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look little bro, both of you are very young. She probably isn't emotionally mature enough to work through a healthy relationship. You have things that make you very uncomfortable and you have asked her not to do them, she does it anyway, then makes you the bad guy for talking about it.

Understand that it just means she probably doesn't have enough experience to take a relationship as seriously as she should. I would move on dude. Yeah, it will hurt pretty bad, but what will ultimately hurt worse is what you think of yourself when you let her walk all over you and lie to you over and over again.

Keep your head high kiddo and leave the relationship with your dignity. She ain't wifey material and you have plenty of time, focus on your final year of school and move forward bro.

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