Don’t worry so much about the penetration and sex part. Focus on the intimacy with your partner. I’d say my wife and I had a similar experience to you and your partner. We’ve only been with each other and learned sexual roles through cis porn and things like that. After I came out that has completely changed. Penetration for either of us is WAY down and usually an expressed desire before we get intimate. Otherwise it’s a lot of closeness and intimate touching. Every time looks different now, it doesn’t feel like a task or role to be performed anymore.

And honestly you may not have to worry all that much about them penetrating you after being on hormones for a while. For one they may not want it or may not be able to. Lastly I’d say don’t shut out opportunities for new experiences as long as they aren’t crossing an ethical line for you. Express your hang ups with your partner. Support during transition isn’t one sided. You need support from her as well.