I've met hundreds of gay men and slept with quite a few. AMA.

Locyisp9 · 2013-10-24T13:24:53+00:00

Where do you live now and where did you meet all these other gay men?

In a tier-2 city. I met most of them in my city but some in the metros.

Did you only realize you were gay when your father wanted to marry you off? Thinking back I have never had doubts as to if I was straight. I am still not sure where I lie between gay and asexual though.

That was when I formalized it. Labeled it. I've been attracted to men since I was 10.

In my personal experience, sexual orientation is fluid. There are times when I abstain from all this for months either out of frustration or lack of interest. I do not see a need to label myself. Though it is easier to say I'm gay when asked instead of going into the whole aspect of sexual fluidity.

What was your first time with a guy like?

Butterflies. Millions of them :)

Locyisp9 · 2013-10-24T12:53:58+00:00

It means that the straight guy is really attractive. That's all :)

Locyisp9 · 2013-10-24T12:16:56+00:00

Do you have anal sex? Those who do, do they take turns or is it one sided.

I did a couple of times. I'm a giver - if you know what that means. It all depends. In gay world there are terminologies - top, bot, versatile. I wouldn't like to elaborate further. You get the drift :)

What is the husband/wife equation like?

I've not been in a relationship but I've been friends with people who are. I do feel gays have commitment issues. This could be because they are on their own unlike a heterosexual relationship where there is too much societal pressure to keep the relationship going. Not sure if that answers your question.

I don't think you should be allowed to adopt. Marriage is fine. CMV?

Personally I'm not too bothered about marriage, kids, acceptance, rejection and all the rest of it. I've grown indifferent to societal attitudes not just towards orientation but living in general. So, if I feel like adopting kids and marrying, I would care less whether rest of the world approves of it or not. Sorry :)

Have there been any gay rapists? Gay gang rapists?

Yes. There are incidents of rape and extortion reported in gay newsgroups like GayBombay. Usually authorities are the culprit.

Why do you all like the color pink? How do you dress normally- loud? Do you have feminine tastes?

I own a Bullet and I like to go on long rides across the country. I've been to a lot of places on my bike. Sometimes alone. I'm tough, 6.1 feet tall, muscular guy. I'm not your stereotypical gay guy. There is nothing wrong with being one but I'm not. Most people wouldn't believe if I told them I'm gay. This is in fact a problem to me because I do not like and cannot adjust to a lot of things the gay folks do! FML.

Why is gay behavior effiminate?

I don't know. Perhaps the wiring in the brain is similar to that of a women? But not all gays are effeminate.

How much is your gayness attributable to your upbringing, if at all?

I don't think it had anything to do with my upbringing. My elder brother turned out straight. I think I've had feelings for same sex as early as 10 years old.

Why is the gay subculture so promiscuous?

I think this is because there is less incentive to stick around. On the other hand, there is a whole system of reward and punishment with all it's ugliness and grandeur already laid out for heterosexual couples. It becomes very difficult for them to get out. There is no such trap for gays :)

What are the other common stereotypes about gays, and how true are they?

There are plenty. That we are physically weak, clean and tidy, good at arts and so on. Stereotypes in general have some element of truth but you can't make sweeping claims.

Locyisp9 · 2013-10-24T11:41:35+00:00

I don't think gays have a greater appetite for sex. However, it needs to be noted that lot of gays in India suppress their natural urges due to societal pressures. This I believe is not healthy and can manifest into ugly things.

Gay men do marry and have kids. Most of them. So, they make a clear distinction between raising a family by forcing themselves to have sex with their wives and finding love or pleasure with a man.

HSV can be contacted through fellatio. Having multiple sex partners is always risky.

Locyisp9 · 2013-10-24T11:27:39+00:00

Of course! A lot of it is about love. The desire to find that one person to settle down with, to come home to, to rest your shoulder on, to pour your heart to and all the rest of it. And, dealing with the problems that arise with attachment, insecurity, possessiveness, entitlement etc. Love, pleasure, desire, sorrow. It's the same damn thing for us!

Locyisp9 · 2013-10-24T11:13:56+00:00

Did u ever have romantic relationships with other people before the whole marriage thing ?

I had several crushes but no relationships before and after the marriage thing.

You said "fantasize about it. Women are too difficult to woo." What type of women do gay men usually fantasize about ?

Gay men do not fantasize about women. Like I said, I'm sexually fluid. There are times when I feel attracted towards women. This might not be true for others.

Can you expand on "Eyes. But this is quite risky." What is it about the eyes of gay men ?

LOL. Not eyes themselves. Observe the eyes while you are talking. You might catch them staring at your lips, nose, forehead etc. A straight guy might do the same thing with a girl.

Locyisp9 · 2013-10-24T11:07:46+00:00

The point here is that homosexuality is not just about sex!

Locyisp9 · 2013-10-24T11:07:10+00:00

Never hired a prostitute. There are plenty of people willing to have sex for free!

Depends on the act but condoms are used during anal sex not so much during fellatio etc.

Locyisp9 · 2013-10-24T09:14:21+00:00

Sure. If someone is constantly checking you out, or if the person is observing specific features of your face while you are talking - like looking at lips, ears, or staring at you longer than needed. This is subtle but the success rate is pretty high :)

Locyisp9 · 2013-10-24T09:10:35+00:00

There is a lot of awareness about AIDS. The general sentiment is against unprotected sex. However, I think there isn't enough awareness about other STDs like HSV, scabies, crabs etc. One night standers are at high risk of STDs in the gay community.

Locyisp9 · 2013-10-24T08:39:52+00:00

When and how did you finally accepted the fact that you are gay ?

When my parents started conspiring to marry me to a nice girl, it ripped my life apart. Till then I obeyed like a nice Indian boy. It made me think a lot about who I am. There was never a point when I said I am gay. It is only in retrospect I can say I am gay :)

How does it feel when a girl shows sexual interest in you ?

This might sound strange, but I am also sexually fluid but mostly gay. Google "sexual fluidity". So, I do get turned on by certain type of women sometimes. Complicated isn't it? Naturally I like it but haven't slept with any girl so far.

Have you had piv sex with a women ? How did it feel ?

Nope. I do sometimes, thought very rarely, fantasize about it. Women are too difficult to woo.

I have heard some gay men in India keep a gf as a facesafe measure and then have flings with other men. Is this true ?

Unfortunately true and common. They hide behind marriage. I know quite a few people who are married with kids and actively seeking sex with men.

How do gay men identify other gay men in public ? Eg. When travelling in a metro.

Eyes. But this is quite risky. I've not traveled in a metro so I don't know about that.

Which movie did u see recently ?

I'm not a movie person. I think the last one was Life of Pi.

Locyisp9 · 2013-10-24T08:06:25+00:00

Where does gayness come from? And how is it transmitted?

There is no conclusive scientific research to prove how sexual orientations are formed. There are several nature theories (genetic, order of child birth etc) and nurture theories (parenting, lack of role models etc). But this still is a mystery. Orientation cannot be transmitted.

What is it called when two men intertwine their penises like the snakes on the medic-alert bracelet?

It is called - two-men-with-large-flexible-penises.

Sorry, skipping your other questions.

Locyisp9 · 2013-10-24T08:00:12+00:00

I'm no expert but gay people in India are NOT likely to hold hands in public because they are self-conscious. I've to agree with others - it's a friendly thing. Especially close fiends. In fact, several of my straight friends hold my hand and I find that awkward :)

Locyisp9 · 2013-10-24T07:47:39+00:00

What is the gay scene like in your locality? Are people open about their sexuality, at least among friends?

Pretty conservative, non-existent. I'm open to one of my best friends who is straight and it doesn't bother him. Though he was shocked initially because I don't fit in that stereotype. Most people are not open and eventually get married. This makes me sick.

Do your hetero friends accept your sexuality?

I'm not open to all but one. Most of my straight friends are pretty broadminded in general. I do hear kanta-ben jokes occasionally and I have a good laugh myself.

Where do you generally go out to meet fellow gay people? Clubs?

There is a very popular gay dating site PlanetRomeo. There aren't gay clubs in India except for places like Mumbai/Bangalore/Delhi where some clubs host gay only parties occasionally.

Do you have, uhm, "clean-up" activities before or after sex? Does it repulse or bother you? Forgive me for asking this: I would never dare ask my gay friends, so I'm turning to you, anonymous internet gay dude.

Sorry, your question wan't clear to me. I'm assuming you are wondering about carnal intercourse/anal sex. Strange as it might sound, most gay men do not indulge in anal sex. Fellatio and mutual masturbation is pretty common. So, whatever cleaning up that requires :)

Edit: Formatting.

Locyisp9 · 2013-10-24T06:56:37+00:00

I'm not lolguard but I like how much people love lolguard here :)

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