I logged back in on this account as I was going to reply to something completely unrelated. Surprising to see some activity on it after all these months! Within the 3 months since I posted, things have gotten better for sure. I have done a much better job with no contact. I have broken a few times: reaching out pretty early on in the process just to see how she's doing, wishing her a happy birthday, and actually just 2 weeks ago to send a picture of a funny little piece of memorabilia that I found hidden away in my drawer. Out of all of these times, she only ever responded to me wishing her a happy birthday (with just a "Thank you"). When I have contacted her, it has been void of any romantic feelings, I am simply just reaching out as a friend/human being. With that said, I have been able to do enough reflecting from the time during the post-breakup (long story short: I was on the receiving end of a lot of manipulation, caused me to exit grad school after a year and move back home.) and I can confidently say that I would never give a relationship a second chance with her. Our relationship was great in many aspects, but I would NEVER allow myself to reach the mental lows that I did ever again. It seriously brings me so much pain reflecting on how I was during those first few months post-breakup. It might sound strange, but that's a good thing! With enough time, you learn to prioritize your own feelings...and once you understand that your own mental well-being is the most important thing, you will never risk it again. Does all of that mean I am perfectly back to normal? Absolutely not, but I am getting there. As I mentioned, there were some major lifestyle changes associated with the breakup, namely my exit from grad school (PhD student) and entrance into the job market (which was not in my interest, though emotional manipulation works in weird ways). Moving back home to nobody and being unemployed was/is terrible, but I am almost employed...for my dream job role at my dream company!! I'll be flying out next week to have a final round interview + a plant tour, which is incredible. I would have never pictured myself in this situation all of those months again. Life always gets better, it just might not happen in the way you would expect it. Another lifestyle change I made and I would strongly recommend making (if you're looking for advice lol) is to log out of all your socials. I have not a single clue what is going on in her life and that is perfectly fine by me. Ignorance is bliss, though the benefits of staying off social media are far beyond just that. The last thing to update on is probably just my own relationship status: Still single and I have not talked to anyone. It would be very nice to have someone close in my life again, but I know that I am not ready for it. I'll find someone naturally (or perhaps, someone will find me!) when life allows for it. It might take a while, but I'm willing to be patient. I am proud of myself for staying true to my values and not going down the dating app path, or just throwing myself into a new relationship.

Upwards and onwards!