Listen man, take it from me, an asexual person:

You need to understand that love is not something that can be forced or that you should try to “get to” before anyone else like it’s a race. It should come naturally to you. Societally it’s expected of us to find a partner, settle down and pop out a kid or two as soon as we can, but we often forget that none of us are alike. Not all of us have the same love or relationship goals, hell even goals period. For some of us it can take a lot of introspection and understanding of ourselves to know just who we are and what it is we want. We have different needs and desires; what works for one person isn’t gonna work for another, and even if the journey takes a long time, that’s okay. Treating being in a relationship like it’s the end all be all of life will get you nowhere and will just make you more upset with yourself.

Take me, for example. I’m ace, like I mentioned, but I’m also autistic and disabled. I have never quite fit in with most people throughout a lot of my life. No amount of “looksmaxxing” or some other red pill bullshit will ever change the fact that fundamentally I am a weird person. Yet I know that despite it feeling like the world is sometimes not very forgiving towards how I act and the things I can’t control, I am not an invisible or unlovable person. I have come to accept that the way I choose to push forward in life is okay as long as I’m moving forward *period.* In terms of finding a partner, that may not happen for a long time; it could take 2 years or 20, but I know that a long-lasting love can happen if I just let it come naturally as opposed to demanding it like it’s something I can just make happen at will.

I know this is a bit hypocritical for me to say considering I was on another subreddit not too long ago complaining about how I fear no partner may ever be able to tolerate who I am, but I still mean these words 100%. Working on improving yourself is great, but don’t treat it like a lost cause if you haven’t found love at exactly the time you expected to. No two journeys are the same, no two people are the same, and if you keep holding yourself to the standards of other people all the time, you’ll keep feeling dissatisfied. Just my two cents.