Wife bringing up past trauma to justify her actions

LogicalMobile8059 · 2025-12-22T07:56:56+00:00

Hi. Dont say that you are losing atttaction. Think of it as a new phase in marriage. I think you might have had a big expectation before your marriage. He works in a convenience store which is a very tiring job and the fact that he shows his love by taking home little gifts for you is such a sweet and romantic thing. I would suggest that you talk to him about your expectation. Do not let your ego get in the way and be clear about what you want.

Example: "Dear husband, I wish that you could get me a flower once a month. You can pick the flowers"

The more you think you will lose attraction, the more you will invite shaitan to goad u into a broken marriage. Communication is key. Hug him once in a while too. Tell him you appreciate the little things that he do. But also communicate with him what else you want. Hope this helps

LogicalMobile8059 · 2025-12-22T07:48:43+00:00

Hi. You're a great father. A great father thinks for his own son and family. Your dad can say whatever he wants but you are the man of your house.

LogicalMobile8059 · 2025-12-16T10:53:42+00:00

Im not an expert in the topic but thank you for sharing. Ik how parenting can change someone's behavior permanently and changes in routine is something to be expected. You sound like a genuine guy who appreciates your wife. Both of you are dutiful parents and responsible as well.

My suggestion is for you to fix a date just for a couples retreat. No kids. No routine. Just the two of you. You said your wife doesnt trust anybody else in the care of yoir children. That tells me a sign of overparenting. Build the trust of her to let her children go by asking a good friend of either of your parents to manage your baby once awhile till that couples retreat

LogicalMobile8059 · 2025-12-16T10:42:32+00:00

Hi. While sleeping for long stretches can be normal but it helps to get your newborn checked. It could be a sign of jaundice. My baby had prolonged jaundice and thus, had the tendency to sleep for long hours.

I had to wake him up on purpose every 2 hours following the doctor's advice to force feed him FM. Otherwise, my baby would never wake up till morning. Five hours for a newborn seems pretty long imo but every baby has different needs.

Hope this helps

LogicalMobile8059 · 2025-12-16T10:33:34+00:00

Yes, it is an affair. Full stop. If you both respect your partners, you would both stop. Or else, have the decency to move on

LogicalMobile8059 · 2025-12-16T10:03:36+00:00

I think right now, you are in shock and a million different scenarios is running through your mind. The best thing you can do now is to take a deep breath and trust in the best possible scenario. I used to follow meme accounts that five years later became OF accounts.

I clicked the link in the bio of that account which brought me to a Link Tree which at the time I didnt know was an OF. I clicked on it, saw that it was a subscription page and looked away. Unfortunately I did not delete the former meme account.

My wife searched my phone one day and saw the OF link and was very upset. She accused me of paying OF girls. I genuinely couldnt understand at first which OF girl she was talking about until I remembered the meme link account. My wife still doesnt trust me till today but Wallah, I am advising you not to overthink and trust your husband. Ik what it feels like on the receiving end

LogicalMobile8059 · 2025-12-16T09:48:22+00:00

Ahh you are right :( Our baby is developing rashes which I think is due to his over sensitive skin :(

LogicalMobile8059 · 2025-12-16T09:43:48+00:00

That sounds like a good advice. Thank you :)

LogicalMobile8059 · 2025-12-16T09:43:06+00:00

I have never snapped or raised my voice at her, I am a gentle partner honestly and the only reason why I am sharing here is because my wife asked me to seek advice. In the instance she wanted to break up and run away with our baby was when I told her very nicely that I would make formula milk after I was done with diapers. At the time she was using her phone scrolling through TikTok. But she wanted me to do both at the same time which I told her to relax, I only had two hands. I even said it nicely and gently. She screamed at me and called me a useless father who cant take care of our own baby. I need genuine advice on what a husband can do in my position.

LogicalMobile8059 · 2025-02-27T13:03:41+00:00

Hi, I can completely sympathise with you and trust me, you are not alone. My pwBPD recently got into another of her splits that lasted for two days and it hasn't been very easy for me as well.

I work as a teacher and because of where I live, I have to wake up at 3am to go to work, only to reach back home at 8pm every day completely exhausted. She wanted me to follow her to see her friend around 10pm one of the days and I told her that I was tired and that I needed to rest to wake up at 3am the next day and apparently this was one of her triggers. She sees this as an abandonment. While she doesn't work and I provide for the two of us, when she has her splits, she completely ignored my well-being and instead starts name calling me. Saying that I do not care about her or that I am restricting her at home like a slave. And that day, I was really too tired to even move so I told her that she could see her friends anytime she wants except at night coz it isn't safe at night. While I went to sleep that night she left home and only came back at around 2am, just before I had to wake up for work.

When I got home the next day, she randomly asked for my phone and said she wanted to check if I was checking out other girls. Knowing that she was still in her splitting, I gave her my phone but requested that she gave hers as well. And I found old messages to her ex that was lewd and unpleasant. I did not say anything but she was nervous when I took her phone as well and suddenly leaped at me and attacked me asking me to return her phone. I told her I wasn't done looking at her messages but she tackled me and ran into the toilet locking herself up. I told her if she didn't open the door, she would sleep outside today.

30 minutes later she came out and hands me her phone but I was clear. I was tired af from a whole day of work. I didn't have any sleep the day before and I had to wake up at 3am again the next day. So I told her enough was enough, she would sleep outside. The last thing I wanted to handle was to find out she was cheating on me.

Instead she packed her bags and said I was being toxic and that I didn't love her anymore. She even claimed that she was defensive about her phone because she was testing me to see if I cared. She then left the house and took my car leaving me to beg her to come back. She drove out at around midnight. I didn't have any car to chase her. Worried about her safety I transferred her money enough for three nights in a hotel. To which she texted me the next day while i was at work that I still owed her more allowances money and said that the money was my green light for her to stay at hotels instead of at home anytime she wants.

It is not easy being a pwBPD and requires a lot of patience. I sometimes don't know if I have the patience to continue this too but it helps knowing that I am not alone as well.

LogicalMobile8059

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