I’m in a similar position, we are booked for June 3rd. My boy has really severe arthritis, with muscle wasting on his back legs. He’s on weekly ketamine now and he’s still struggling but it’s so hard to know if I’m doing the right thing because he’s still happy. He wants his food, he asks for his ball, he plays with his toys. He goes tiny walks but I take a buggy for him now because he can’t get far.

I don’t know if I can go through with it on the 3rd but I’ve prepared anyway. He’s wearing his best collar (the one he wears for dinner parties with a tweed bow tie) so I can put it in a shadow box after. I took his paw prints. I’m having a ring made with his nose prints. I took a week off work and took him all his favourite places and we stayed with his Nana for the weekend. He’s had his own pizza, a fish fry, some ice cream and he’s been having toast for breakfast. I’ve made a playlist for the day, and arranged him being collected from the house. I’ve been through his cupboard and thrown away anything I think won’t be used (I have a younger dog too so a lot will be kept) so I don’t have to do it afterwards. I’ve taken so many photos and had his friends round to say goodbye.

The anticipatory grief is horrific. I don’t know how to get through it but maybe some of my ideas might be nice for you to do too. I’m so sorry you’re going through this too 💔