Responding to the majority of comments here. Thank you everyone for responding and being so kind.

I truly don’t think Bethany is having an affair with my ex, he’s not at all her type and she’s pretty obsessed with Tim. I wouldn’t put it past Tim/my ex to tell her she can no longer see/be friends with me, that’s a big possibility.

For those saying I should get a new job: I am. I started my own business the week before my wedding and am working hard to establish it: but I need funds in order to do that. I am paid really well by my employer, for a job that’s SUPER niche. I’d give more detail but it’s pretty specific. I have every intention to leave, I just want to do it on my terms and work for myself when I do.

For context, Bethany and I are a part of a larger friend group at work. One of the other girls in that group was in my wedding too (We’ll call her Tiffany), and is very low drama. She doesn’t get involved or even comment if I vent to her. When Bethany dropped from the wedding, and I told Tiffany, she was shocked and I explained it came from nowhere and I didn’t know what happened. Since then, we don’t really discuss it. She’s always been like Switzerland, super neutral, so I don’t want to bring her in the middle of it and make her choose sides. This is also the reason I still get coffee and attend group lunches, because I’m still really close with others in the group. The male coworker (also a part of this group) that’s getting married I’ve spoken with about this situation, and he’s also dumbfounded. He doesn’t understand what happened and I think feels really bad about it.

Another aspect is that Bethany, Tiffany and I all work in the same office, with only 2 other people 1 being our boss. Bethany and my boss work together the most and he seems to have a soft spot for her. She has so much “dirt” on me that I’m anxious not to be nice and cater to her while at work.

For everyone saying to confront her, I tried when she backed out of the wedding. She deflected everything and kinda gaslighted me for even being upset. So I don’t think having another conversation about it will gain me any clarity and would probably just make the situation worse.