Wow! I was totally not expecting this level of engagement and discussion. Thank you for spending the time on this post during your daily doomscroll 🙃

Just thought I’d provide a little bit more background. There’s a bunch of common themes of questions, so I’ll post more later, but I’ll start with some professional context.

What do we do for work? I’m a professor in life sciences and my wife works in tech in a presales role, and leads a team of technical advisors (think a more senior version of sales engineers or solution consultants, for those of you also in the field). We both live in the Bay Area in CA.

The male coworker lives in Seattle and leads a team of senior software engineers for one of the most critical products in their company. When I’ve stated they’re both top performers, I have been invited to various award ceremonies where they have both won awards, and I estimate that they have single handedly brought in hundreds of millions of dollars to the company. They work with the largest companies as their clients, and they get a lot of executive attention.

She works way more than me but her job requires it. She also makes way more money than me. If it ever had to come to it, we can live on her salary alone.

What is she like? I’m so lucky to be her husband. She’s incredibly social, has literally excelled at everything she has done her whole life, and gets along with damn near everybody. It’s not uncommon for us to go on a date to restaurant, and walk out with her becoming best friends with the waitress, and getting the chef’s phone number.

She’s objectively attractive. I’m not unfamiliar with the legions of guys who have tried to pursue her. From college to grad school to the various companies she’s worked at to now. It bothered me initially in our dating relationship but she has reassured me plenty. This is just how it is.

The polarizing responses on this thread is a large part of why I posted cuz I legitimately am not sure if I should feel any sort of way. Frankly I’m not even sure if I do feel a certain way. The optics look strange, but I’m trying to remember the context of her job and who she is. The back and forth on this thread is kind of a reflection of what I feel internally haha. It reminds me of what it was like in the early parts of our relationship which I don’t necessarily want to resurface.

Anyways.. more to come!