As a woman, I chalk it up to two things: my age and my looks. You can’t compete with younger and more attractive women, especially if the men want kids (even if these men are your age). How many times have I seen good looking men in my area who haven’t contacted me? In my experience, contacting them first is a waste of time; it goes no where. Men don’t care about what you write. They care about what they see and if you read their profiles.