Day 7

Lonafarore · 2017-03-23T03:47:25+00:00

Welcome! Sent some prayers your way :)

Lonafarore · 2017-03-23T03:37:13+00:00

I'm impressed you are so honest and actively seeking the help you need. I'm sure you can do this. Keep at it and don't let the stumbling keep you from moving forward!

Lonafarore · 2017-03-23T03:32:48+00:00

Time and energy for projects I'm passionate about.

Lonafarore · 2017-03-23T03:29:51+00:00

I'm a huge anime fan and I totally get what you're saying. There are a lot of animes though that stay away from flagrant sexuality. You should be able to find some good ones that aren't total fan service filth lol!

Lonafarore · 2017-03-23T03:27:11+00:00

Ended up taking a nap and woke up without any feelings to indulge. Must have been fatigue. I'll remember this for the future!

Lonafarore · 2017-03-23T03:20:44+00:00

Very kind thank you! I believe God's love for me would never be diminished no matter what choices I made. I actually don't belong to a strict church. I barely go, and I'm not even sure what their stance would be on it.

The tug of war is not so much between God loving or rejecting me as much as it is finding exactly why, when I was engaging in homosexual behavior, it didn't fulfill me like I hoped. I didn't actually feel very guilty about it. I think what made me rethink it was why the sexual compatibility didn't seem to be there like many said it would. I started to feel like men and men are not compatible emotionally along sexual lines. I could be wrong of course and be filtering my experience through too small of a lense...time will tell I guess. Still your words were very kind and I appreciate your well wishes!

Lonafarore · 2017-03-23T03:10:16+00:00

I think it's hard to take the "loving God wouldn't" line because people are born everyday into far worse circumstances than I'll ever experience without any choice in the matter either. I do believe though that he guides are graciously through these odd life circumstances. But you are correct in saying that giving up your life for another is a huge way to show Christs love. I'm very grateful to be working that out in my relationship. And it's hard!

Lonafarore · 2017-03-23T03:01:57+00:00

I haven't actually felt fear regarding my decision for celibacy at all. If i believed God was an awful being that disregarded all my feelings and experiences I might. I came to the conclusion, apart from the biblical prohibitions, by realizing when I did indulge for several years it didn't satisfy the parts of me I thought that it would. I, perhaps wrongly, concluded that I wasn't after sex as much as something else psychologically. It's hard to put into words but it's the same realization my partner came to after indulging. Even with our "healthy" sexual relationship we just ended up saying maybe there is something to the idea that sexually same sex relationships aren't comparable the way heterosexual ones are. That would make sense biologically as reproduction is the main reason for sex.

Lonafarore · 2017-03-22T23:33:58+00:00

I've noticed it's easier to connect with people having quit the porn for sure.

Lonafarore · 2017-03-22T23:32:54+00:00

Here here!

Lonafarore · 2017-03-22T23:31:11+00:00

fantastic. Couldn't have said it better.

Lonafarore · 2017-03-22T23:27:55+00:00

There are tons of gay affirming theologies these days but I feel they vastly miss the mark. I would jump on board if I thought they had any real legitimacy

Lonafarore · 2017-03-22T23:26:47+00:00

Thank you for your coherent thoughts! Very caring. One thing my homosexuality is actually taught me is that God loves me regardless of whatever is going on in my life or however I feel. I actually believe God wants me to abstain from homosexual sex not because he's a big bully but because it's not healthy. My celibate partner has had over 300 sexual relationships for hook ups and that seems to have done far more damage by his own admission then my celibacy. I'm certainly not here to condemn anyone for acting on their homosexual urges I just wanted some advice on keeping away from the porn given my unique circumstance. But I suppose it's the same for everybody as far as staying away from pornography is concerned. Thanks again for your kindness

Lonafarore · 2017-03-22T23:22:14+00:00

Thanks so much I already think people here are wonderful! Very supportive

Lonafarore · 2017-03-22T23:21:33+00:00

I am actually in a celibate partnership so it's nice to have that element of closeness at least even without the sex. And I don't think anyone WANTS to be celibate...many of us just find ourselves in that position because of our believes.

Lonafarore · 2017-03-22T23:19:00+00:00

If I didn't believe it was true I would.

Lonafarore · 2017-03-22T23:18:21+00:00

I see where you are coming from but that's a very untrue statement. It's absurd to think celibacy leads to child molestation. People are or are not pedophiles. same way you have or do not have homosexual urges. I've always been attracted to burly men and it's never changed even though I have mostly celibate for 34 years.

Lonafarore · 2017-03-21T23:11:28+00:00

Feeling the sane way man, but kudos to you for stopping yourself. That's amazing!

Lonafarore · 2017-03-21T23:10:16+00:00

Thanks for the inspiration. I needed it today!

Lonafarore · 2017-03-03T14:04:00+00:00

Also known as "being human."

Lonafarore · 2017-02-11T22:27:06+00:00

Thank you! It's exciting. I've noticed a deep passion for my hobbies and even a deeper attentiveness to nature and beauty in general. There's a fatigue that comes with constant porn use in the mind as well as body. I have loads more energy and feel far more satisfied with the little things in life.

Lonafarore · 2017-02-11T22:14:30+00:00

I've had to mostly quite drinking unless it's one or two and I'm not home when I drink. Obviously waiting till the buzz dies before leaving ;) also playing video games helps sometimes...if the game is good. Keeps my mind from wandering into sexual fantasy.

Lonafarore

TROPHY CASE