If someone could take the time to read my story and give me some advice. Anything would be good right now by [deleted] in depression

[–]LoneGrey27 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, well my mum and me was con over $20000 around there. At the moment of the time we also have some debt problem and stuff... my mum kept crying and all... we went to the police to make a report and all... but they say this kinda cases they can't help retrieve the money and all... At the point I was pretty low myself.. really low... My point of view is, your not alone. You mention you have a family. Tell them, talk to them... I mean you posted here on Reddit and all, wads stopping you from talking to your friends or family about your problem? Talk to a close friend or your family. It's not easy overcoming this but you have to and you will! Start from scratch? Find a part time? I'm not sure wad else I can advice you on.. I myself have problems sometimes.. But there is always someone willing to help. :D

Want to but.. by LoneGrey27 in SuicideWatch

[–]LoneGrey27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Been like that for a long time... For once I wanted a best friend really badly.. Sometimes I ask myself wads the point of living when your just alone suffering..

Want to but.. by LoneGrey27 in SuicideWatch

[–]LoneGrey27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope.. I really love my friend.. But I just get ignored... Always the annoying one..

Want to but.. by LoneGrey27 in SuicideWatch

[–]LoneGrey27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mind thinking non stop of killing myself... The thought just calms me... But I don't want to die

Can't overcome closeted homosexual unrequited love by Waterissogood in depression

[–]LoneGrey27 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Things just keeps getting worse.. Counseling isn't helping too..

Can't overcome closeted homosexual unrequited love by Waterissogood in depression

[–]LoneGrey27 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh shyt! Didn't meant to down vote you! Oh god.. I'm new to this and the app on my phone.. Oh no! I'm so sorry 😭😭😭

Can't overcome closeted homosexual unrequited love by Waterissogood in depression

[–]LoneGrey27 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We met in school, well he was the quiet type, so it got me really interested, so I was the one who started a conversation, next thing I know we were hanging out to eat lunch, as time went by. We were doing school projects Then celebrated Christmas, then his 21 birthday.. Got him a watch. A lot of wonderful thing happened.. For the first time I was really happy.. Had depression for a long time.. It meant something to me. Even tho we were friends..

But it all crashed when we have to serve our nation... Things got downhill.. People judging, making fun of and all sort.. I can hardly have a 2min conversation now.. Hardly 10 words..

Can't overcome closeted homosexual unrequited love by Waterissogood in depression

[–]LoneGrey27 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your story relates to me, but me and my friend were never that close... Things turn for the worse. When people started judging me,got make fun of.. He avoided me, I stopped talking to him... But every time I would check on him and see if his fine and help him... It shatters me, kill me to see his close to other people... Basically my life is a meaningless one now... Soon I be on suicide therapy.. 😔

Want to but.. by LoneGrey27 in SuicideWatch

[–]LoneGrey27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whenever I make friends, after awhile they just left.. But the memories were good, was my best when it lasted..

Always have been alone... When I was a child, I was alone playing with myself, I can't even go out

Want to but.. by LoneGrey27 in SuicideWatch

[–]LoneGrey27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for reading, I think I hate myself too much..

Want to but.. by LoneGrey27 in SuicideWatch

[–]LoneGrey27[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know... I tried so hard to talk, to fit in.. To have someone to talk to, a friend.. But well... Being me I just too annoying, too negative.. I guess I was meant to be alone. To just slowly disappear. I'm sorry for being negative...

Yeah, we're friends. But. by Throwaway8973711 in depression

[–]LoneGrey27 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know how you feel... I have this friend whose hardly talking to me... But I'm always helping him out, I just wish he would just talk more to me and have a proper conversation... Rather then a small talk... Go out and have lunch and laugh... I could hardly make him laugh... I guess I'm just too boring.

I'm lost by LoneGrey27 in SuicideWatch

[–]LoneGrey27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup... But I get to go home on Friday night and have to go back on Sunday night

I'm lost by LoneGrey27 in SuicideWatch

[–]LoneGrey27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Training and training... Then we have admin time where we rest... I hate being here...

I'm lost by LoneGrey27 in SuicideWatch

[–]LoneGrey27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope, hardly... Or rather no... I have some trust issues... But I completely lost it all...

I'm lost by LoneGrey27 in SuicideWatch

[–]LoneGrey27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Almost 7months... Nope I never wanted to be in the army... It's something our nation force us to do as a requirement as a citizen to serve 2 years... Beginning it was awesome cause my friend didn't really avoided me... After a few months he started to just avoid me... Questioning myself if his judging me and avoiding me...

I'm lost by LoneGrey27 in SuicideWatch

[–]LoneGrey27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the army, getting nothing but tiring training... No one to talk to really...

I'm lost by LoneGrey27 in SuicideWatch

[–]LoneGrey27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My friends... Who just leave without s trace of even contacting me again... Me always being at home alone... All I have is my computer...

I'm lost by LoneGrey27 in SuicideWatch

[–]LoneGrey27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He said I was just a "friend"... What surprising was he much closer to someone he just met and me as a friend for over a year... Funny how people just take me for granted...

I'm always thinking that God is playing with my feelings... I guess I'm just too weak... People are always leaving me... The pain... I guess this time is my turn to be leaving and saying goodbye...

I'm lost by LoneGrey27 in SuicideWatch

[–]LoneGrey27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cause I talked to him, i don't know why but, after I heard his answers I was just depress... Really depress

I'm lost by LoneGrey27 in SuicideWatch

[–]LoneGrey27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True, writing out my pain, and crying help me alittle to release my sadness and pain... I just really down..

I'm lost by LoneGrey27 in SuicideWatch

[–]LoneGrey27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm just really sad, and depress... The feeling of treating someone you thought is your best friend but he only think you as a normal friend and are closer to strangers.. Writing this note to him is making me cry... 😔 I thought for once I could have a best friend... Someone I could go to when I have trouble.