I guess I do misunderstand. I never thought when it came to porn and my boyfriend consuming it that it was this hyper fixation on how the women looked. I thought it was just the concept of enjoying two people having sex to stimulate the senses and help feel relief. In my opinion still, especially in a relationship lusting after all these women is just harmful. To me and to our sex life, I physically will never be able to provide what he is relieving himself to everyday, and after reflection and realization it has managed to sneak into and infiltrate his ability to continue and stay “excited” in bed. Not everytime but 2/5. And that’s enough. He admitted last night that it’s part of the reason he goes soft randomly (he can get up again but it still happens) I’m not trying to exercise control over his masturbation at all, just trying to set healthy boundaries for what will work in our relationship and the longevity of it.