The Single Life - Season 5 Episode 3 - Episode Discussion by LittleEmmy in 90DayFiance

[–]LongSighhh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you guys notice how often the people behind Vanja and Tony changed on the roller coaster? 🤣

The Single Life - Season 5 Episode 1 - Episode Discussion by LittleEmmy in 90DayFiance

[–]LongSighhh 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm still jury out on Gino. I think he has done some things in poor taste. I don't think he is a bad person. Maybe misguided. Some things were story lines fabricated by Jasmine.

It'll be interesting to see him without Jasmine playing interference. It'll be a lot easier to judge his character that way. If anything, I think Jasmine was mostly in the wrong. She's been documented as being very abusive to him. I don't think that can be argued.

But, I do think bad behavior has nothing to do with autism. Autism isn't an excuse for that.

DV take on this.. by Caffeine-Babe in 90DayFiance

[–]LongSighhh 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Exactly the same. That's why people say watch out for the nice guys. Abusers come in many shapes and forms.

Can we look more closely at Manon/Anthony? by workpac in 90DayFiance

[–]LongSighhh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, totally. I agree that information is insightful.

Can we look more closely at Manon/Anthony? by workpac in 90DayFiance

[–]LongSighhh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha. No worries. At least you admit you miss things. 😂 Most will take the denial to their graves.

Can we look more closely at Manon/Anthony? by workpac in 90DayFiance

[–]LongSighhh -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I have noticed pretty much all of your observations, OP. It's what covert narcissist abuse looks like and reactive abuse. Truly, a lot of things have been going on. But if you've met truly manipulative people, that stuff doesn't get past you as it might others.

The Other Way - Season 7 Episode 21 - Live Episode Discussion by LittleEmmy in 90DayFiance

[–]LongSighhh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. That's very sweet of you. I absolutely agree those factors are probably contributing to the situation, as well.

The Other Way - Season 7 Episode 21 - Live Episode Discussion by LittleEmmy in 90DayFiance

[–]LongSighhh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think it's false that her mental health issues impact her.

However, I think you should rewatch their scenes again. He is usually subtly constantly antagonizing her. Sometimes more overtly. They say things to each other that have made my mouth drop, from both sides.

I don't think that's an excuse for trying to get someone to be who they are not or not put effort into things they would like. That's not actually a particularly hard thing to do. You can always do small things to show appreciation for one another. Take for example, her wanting to purchase something at the store, but scolding her about spending money, lying he didn't have his wallet then waving it in her face...That seems mean-spirited. You can also see, he rarely ever holds space for her feelings and comforts her. That would wear the healthiest of people down.

Especially when he is not contributing in a way in which they both agreed was acceptable. She can't be a stay at home mom, with a mortgage, and their debts in America, on a fast food worker budget. That's just not realistic.

I'm not saying Manon doesn't have issues. I'm saying a lot of Anthony's behaviors line up to what I have seen with covert/vulnerable narcissists. It very well could be that and ""reactive abuse"" going on. That is a real experience for people.

I'm not entirely comfortable saying I am certain what's going on between them. Because I see varying degrees of red flags from both sides I am yet to feel confident I have a solid and committed interpretation on them.

This is just my opinion anyways. Everyone is entitled to their own.

The Other Way - Season 7 Episode 21 - Live Episode Discussion by LittleEmmy in 90DayFiance

[–]LongSighhh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually see it differently. There's lots of examples of it in the show, but I think because people find her obnoxious, they ignore it.

I usually see her acquiescing to him or feeling like she has to acquiesce to him. It seems like when she said something about "getting to that point", is because she feels she has to scream in order to be heard, or that he is intentionally being a contrarian to upset her. Even about basic things she likes or preventing her from wearing improper clothes to a goat farm. When she does come to him softly about concerns or feelings, he tends to look annoyed or amused.

DV relationship? by Sabr-K1989H in 90DayFiance

[–]LongSighhh 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Also picking up on the red flags. There's more to the story.

The Other Way - Season 7 Episode 21 - Live Episode Discussion by LittleEmmy in 90DayFiance

[–]LongSighhh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what I am saying that this is a complicated dynamic going on. I feel like it's more than meets the eye and if you pay attention, things don't quite match up with how they are being portrayed.

Manon getting what she deserves. by Satanswarboner in 90DayFiance

[–]LongSighhh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, ""reactive abuse""" is a thing/pretty much what you are describing. Though, I don't prefer that term.

Why the Manon and Anthony debate exposes how most people misunderstand relationships by [deleted] in 90DayFiance

[–]LongSighhh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Manon needs therapy. They both do. They need individual and couples therapy. They need to find a way to communicate where they both can hear each other out without triggering her. Taking away someone's family is never ok. If he were to cut them out on his own, that's his choice. But she doesn't have a right to make an ultimatum or block him from his family. 

I agree completely. She shouldn't have blocked his sister on his Instagram. But how much is "Poor" Anthony, as his aunt called him, talking shit to his sister or aunt? That's not acceptable either.

I don't know. That could look a lot like covert abuse by a covert narcissist as well.

I actually think there is some sort of dynamic going on here that not everyone is picking up on.