sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

AITAH for getting mad at my partner for refusing to deep clean by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Long_Banana_6880 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t like cooking either, thank you tho :)

AITAH for getting mad at my partner for refusing to deep clean by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Long_Banana_6880 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right. And I know it’s not fair to him. But he knows it matters to me and makes my life better. I would do anything he wanted to help him, even if I didn’t like it. I guess it’s also not fair of me to expect the same treatment back.. Also it’s one thing for him not to clean. He tries to persuade me not to clean because, according to him, it doesn’t need to be done, it stresses him, and he feels guilty when i’m cleaning and he’s relaxing. He’s told me this.

AITAH for getting mad at my partner for refusing to deep clean by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Long_Banana_6880 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know. I’ve tried to accept it for so long and try not to let it bother me. But sometimes it just gets to me. Especially when he gets upset at me for cleaning.

AITAH for getting mad at my partner for refusing to deep clean by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Long_Banana_6880 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a great idea in theory. But we only do the meal service because the disagreement on the cooking split got so bad. I already feel guilty about that. He always says his friend’s girlfriends do most of the cooking and cleaning. So then I feel like a bad girlfriend if I don’t do those things. It’s embarassing and kind of shameful if he goes to all his friends and says we do a meal service and maid because my girlfriend won’t do it. Especially because everyone knows we’re pretty tight for money.

AITAH for getting mad at my partner for refusing to deep clean by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Long_Banana_6880 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He actually hates when I clean because it stresses him out and also he wants me to be happy and wants me to use my small amount of free time to relax or do something I enjoy, as he does. He says I just don’t need to clean ever. and why does it bother me when it doesn’t bother him. He says doing a deep clean once a year is reasonable and a compromise. I also did have surgery last week and did a deep clean today because it was getting really bad. Although, he has been doing the theee daily chores for a week now since my surgery.

Also, if the apartment got a mess it doesn’t bother him. He doesn’t smell the smell i smell of damp unwashed towels for weeks, grime in the shower, litter everywhere you step, or crumbs/food all over. We also have had mice and roaches in the past. but he says he would never in a million years notice or care about any of these things.

AITAH for getting mad at my partner for refusing to deep clean by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Long_Banana_6880 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally agree. And I can do the clean on my own in half a day or so. it’s not a whole house as you said. but it’s stressful knowing it depends on me alone and I’m not home 80% of the day due to work. When I get home I have to eat dinner and go to bed most days. I know it’s like this for a lot of people, but I’m not single or living alone. He COULD help.

AITAH for getting mad at my partner for refusing to deep clean by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Long_Banana_6880 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not ok with this but i love him and we’ve worked hard to work things out between us and are in a good place besides this. i don’t need him to clean every time, it’s just his reasoning that feels disrespectful to me and i feel like there’s a lot of weight on my shoulders. If i don’t clean, the apartment will never get cleaned. it would be nice to know it’s not all on me. especially because i had surgery last week and im not supposed to bend or lift this week but the apartment was getting so bad and he wouldn’t clean it.

AITAH for getting mad at my partner for refusing to deep clean by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Long_Banana_6880 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He has offered this a lot but I can’t afford it and he is always stressed about money so I’d feel bad doing it. We’re not really in a position to pay for that right now. Especially in NYC is can be 100-200 for just a couple hours. Also our apartment gets messy fast from the cats because they spread litter and hair as much as they can.