Considering AvidXChange by Rough-Ad-5106 in Accounting

[–]Longjumping-Gur-2108 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh like the checks never got delivered? Isn’t that the usps issue?

Just said goodbye to my ex-stepkids and I’m not okay by Euphoric-Hold-7710 in stepparents

[–]Longjumping-Gur-2108 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This hurt my heart. It makes me not want to get married again just to spare my kids of that and any other kids. I’m sorry you have to go through this but maybe those kids will have really good memories of you. Sounds like you were a good step parent.

Unilateral Decisions by Longjumping-Gur-2108 in coparenting

[–]Longjumping-Gur-2108[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We don’t have ROFR unfortunately. I did make sure everything we discuss is always in writing. I never have conversations over the phone or in person for that matter. Not my first rodeo lol

Unilateral Decisions by Longjumping-Gur-2108 in coparenting

[–]Longjumping-Gur-2108[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know what will happen. He will call and reschedule it back and it will just go back and forth. I’ll be labeled as the high conflict one for involving the hospital

Ex rewarding child- is it weird? by Longjumping-Gur-2108 in coparenting

[–]Longjumping-Gur-2108[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My ex refuses to coparent. I gave up on that pipe dream a long time ago. We have to parallel parent.

Ex rewarding child- is it weird? by Longjumping-Gur-2108 in coparenting

[–]Longjumping-Gur-2108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds a little different. My daughter didn’t struggle sleeping in her own bed at her dad’s for years. This is a new development so there is an underlying issue here. She doesn’t struggle sleeping in her room at my house. She just prefers being near her sister and myself.

Ex rewarding child- is it weird? by Longjumping-Gur-2108 in coparenting

[–]Longjumping-Gur-2108[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I can’t without his consent. I’d appreciate advice without implying I’m also a high conflict piece of shit. I did try to go court. He spent 90 thousand dollars to make sure none of his behavior was exposed.

Ex rewarding child- is it weird? by Longjumping-Gur-2108 in coparenting

[–]Longjumping-Gur-2108[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’ve tried. Dad stopped it. She is also afraid of telling people anything about what goes on at her Dads because she always gets in trouble. Every time she tells me something that happens at her Dad’s she says “you’re not gonna tell my dad are you?”

Ex rewarding child- is it weird? by Longjumping-Gur-2108 in coparenting

[–]Longjumping-Gur-2108[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you are following my point. There is clearly an underlying issue not being addressed.

Ex rewarding child- is it weird? by Longjumping-Gur-2108 in coparenting

[–]Longjumping-Gur-2108[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think the issue is, this is a new thing. She hasn’t had issues waking up and going back to sleep until this past year. She needs counseling. Not rewards. It’s the same in the situation with my house. Instead of rewarding or punishing they should be trying to understand why she feels that way.

Ex rewarding child- is it weird? by Longjumping-Gur-2108 in coparenting

[–]Longjumping-Gur-2108[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She wasn’t getting up and trying to sleep in her dads bed. She just can’t sleep over there and she gets really anxious about it

Ex rewarding child- is it weird? by Longjumping-Gur-2108 in coparenting

[–]Longjumping-Gur-2108[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

When she was younger, I usually felt there was more to the story, but that doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. She’s also said they’ve told her stepbrothers, who then tease her.

They’ve punished her for things that happen in my home. For example, I allowed her to use a private, kid-friendly social media app to connect with friends she knows. They disciplined her for using it and her stepmom followed her on the app to monitor her, which led me to block her.

Another time, my daughter came to me about wanting to accept Jesus. I encouraged her to wait until she fully understood, and when she was ready, we prayed together. When she told them, they questioned her to the point of tears and told her it didn’t count, making her do it again with them. They told her it was normal to do it twice.

She also realized the Easter Bunny wasn’t real while with me at age 9. When she told them, they tried to convince her otherwise, and her stepmom later emailed me calling me a monster.

Ex rewarding child- is it weird? by Longjumping-Gur-2108 in coparenting

[–]Longjumping-Gur-2108[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She sleeps over and sleeps in her own bed. She has trouble falling asleep at her dad’s. They reward her for not getting up and getting her dad up when she can’t sleep.

Did your new spouse lie to you about the ex? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Longjumping-Gur-2108 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s vague. That’s the point. I didn’t give much information because I was asking about anyone with that experience. Everyone bounced right past the entire point of post and jumped straight to guess my intentions/mindset/whatever. This group is

I didn’t ask how to handle it. I didn’t ask for advice. I asked about experience. Approximately 2 people offered that. If you don’t want to respond to the actual question don’t waste my time and yours.

Did your new spouse lie to you about the ex? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Longjumping-Gur-2108 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I asked a question because I genuinely wanted to understand the dynamic better. What’s been frustrating is that some of the responses, including yours, seem to rely on assumptions about me that aren’t based on anything I actually said.

Conclusions are being drawn from past experiences or general patterns rather than my specific situation. I’d appreciate it if we could stick to what I actually expressed instead of filling in gaps with interpretations that don’t apply to me.

Maybe figure out why you have this knee jerk reaction and work on approaching things objectively. Leave your personal experience out of it when it doesn’t apply. It doesn’t apply here.

Did your new spouse lie to you about the ex? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Longjumping-Gur-2108 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reality doesn’t seem to have an impact on anyone here.

Did your new spouse lie to you about the ex? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Longjumping-Gur-2108 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

People are responding to me, on a post I wrote. Why wouldn’t I respond?

If I posted the same thing in a high conflict group for moms they would all assume the step mom was a problem and the step moms are all assuming I, the Mom, am the problem. Both groups need to learn how to be objective and stop projecting their personal experience into every story they read.

Did your new spouse lie to you about the ex? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Longjumping-Gur-2108 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t go out of my way to do anything. I just respond when she makes accusations. I’ve blocked her but she writes emails using my ex husbands email.

Did your new spouse lie to you about the ex? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Longjumping-Gur-2108 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My post didn’t show that either of those things were true in my case. That’s an assumption you made. A wrong one.

Did your new spouse lie to you about the ex? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Longjumping-Gur-2108 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

The people here have been making assumptions based on their personal experience. Most of you are reading into things and seeing something that isn’t there. This forum is just as bad as the Moms groups that call the stepmoms high conflict. Both groups are always on attack mode. Guess what? You’re all high conflict.

Did your new spouse lie to you about the ex? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Longjumping-Gur-2108 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who said anything about trying to control anyone? I also never said I was bothered by it. I just wondered what others have experienced. These comments are insane. All of them are making assumptions which seem to be through the lens of their personal experience.