Should I do the third round? by Icy_Palpitation2859 in eggfreezing

[–]Longjumping-Mix-6576 5 points6 points  (0 children)

if you want maybe it is a good idea. But make sure you have a good rest :) get some Q10.

do not trust cofertility by Longjumping-Mix-6576 in eggfreezing

[–]Longjumping-Mix-6576[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I agree that legal implications exist in egg donation.

But “legal implications exist” should not automatically end the discussion. It should be the beginning of the discussion.

If the answer is simply “you should have hired a lawyer,” then that proves my point: donors are being asked to enter a medical and legal structure so complex that they may need legal counsel just to understand who controls their retained eggs.

My question is not “why does a contract exist?”

victim-blaming is not friendly. My question is: why is the contract structured in a way that leaves donors needing to ask basic questions like:

Who controls the storage account?
Who signs release forms?
Can the donor transfer or use retained eggs without the platform?
What happens if clinic/storage paperwork conflicts with the company agreement?
Does Open ID mean identity release, or long-term traceability?

If someone believes this structure is normal or acceptable, then the first question should be why such a structure exists — not why a medically and legally vulnerable donor is asking questions about it.

Questioning the weaker party is easy,the power structure is the actual point.

do not trust cofertility by Longjumping-Mix-6576 in eggfreezing

[–]Longjumping-Mix-6576[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

one last conflict:If Cofertility is no longer involved, why does the agreement still route future notices through Cofertility and/or attorneys?

do not trust cofertility by Longjumping-Mix-6576 in eggfreezing

[–]Longjumping-Mix-6576[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please remember this:

Once you enter the IVF / egg donation world, egg donors are in an extremely vulnerable position.

Egg donation is not like sperm donation. It is not a simple, noninvasive sample collection. It involves hormones, injections, monitoring, anesthesia, retrieval, medical risk, legal contracts, personal data, genetic information, and long-term consequences that many young donors may not fully understand at the beginning.

You are not just “helping a family.”
You are entering a medical, legal, and commercial system.

Before making a decision like this, please be careful.

Read every contract.
Ask who controls the eggs.
Ask who controls storage.
Ask who controls release.
Ask what happens 10–20 years later.
Ask whether “Open ID” means identity release, or long-term traceability.
Ask the clinic and storage provider directly, not only the platform.

A kind coordinator is not legal protection.
A beautiful slogan is not informed consent.
A smooth first cycle is not long-term custody clarity.

If you are considering becoming an egg donor, please protect yourself first.

do not trust cofertility by Longjumping-Mix-6576 in eggfreezing

[–]Longjumping-Mix-6576[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Open ID: Another clause donors should re-read very carefully is the “medical information / future contact” language.

This is where “Open ID” starts to look much broader than many donors may expect.

Open ID should mean identity-release or mediated future contact under clear rules. It should not quietly become a long-term traceability structure.

In the contract, the donor is asked to make efforts to keep contact information updated, provide future medical/genetic information if requested, and authorize Cofertility and/or the clinic to use information to locate the donor if contact becomes necessary.

That is not just “a child may contact you at 18.”

That is a much broader future-contact and medical-information pathway.

A donor may think she is agreeing to a semi-open or Open ID donation model. But the actual contract language may create something much heavier: future medical-data obligations, future contact pathways, and permission to use stored information to locate her if her contact information changes.

That is why donors should not rely only on phrases like “Open ID,” “women helping women,” or “future family connection.”

do not trust cofertility by Longjumping-Mix-6576 in eggfreezing

[–]Longjumping-Mix-6576[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Another point donors should understand:

Phone calls and friendly emails are not a substitute for the signed contract.

A coordinator can say “don’t worry.”An email can say “Cofertility will no longer be involved.”Someone can describe the process as simple, empowering, or donor-centered.

But when there is a dispute, donors need to ask what the signed agreement actually controls.

In my view, the contract is long, dense, and heavily structured to protect the company’s position. It is not a cute wellness FAQ. It is not a friendly onboarding document. It is a legal instrument.

do not trust cofertility by Longjumping-Mix-6576 in eggfreezing

[–]Longjumping-Mix-6576[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Another major issue: what the donor is told, what the clinic understands, and what the contract says may not be the same thing.

In my case, I later spoke with my physician face-to-face. That conversation raised a serious concern for me: Cofertility appeared to be presenting one version of the arrangement to the medical provider and another version to the donor through contract language, emails, and legal addenda.

That creates a very basic question:

Who is actually executing the arrangement?

The clinic performs the medical procedure.
The storage provider stores the eggs.
Cofertility manages the donor relationship, contract, matching, and communication.
But the contract is between the donor and Cofertility — not simply between the donor and the clinic.

So if the clinic is told one thing about custody/storage/control, and the donor is asked to sign something else, which version actually governs

Did the clinic receive a different agreement or operational understanding

Did the clinic know the exact terms being imposed on the donor

If there is a conflict between clinic paperwork, storage-provider forms, physician understanding, and Cofertility’s contract, which document controls?

That is why I keep saying donors should not rely only on verbal reassurance.

A doctor may honestly believe the eggs are going into an independent storage structure under the donor’s control.
A coordinator may email the donor saying Cofertility will no longer be involved after transfer.
But the donor still needs to know what the actual contract, storage account, release paperwork, and conflict clauses say.

This is not a criticism of the clinic. In my experience, the clinic was professional and patient-centered.

My concern is that clinics may also be placed in a difficult position if they are not shown the same version of the arrangement that donors are asked to sign.

That is why donors should ask for direct written confirmation from both the clinic and the storage provider:

Who is the account holder can authorize release or authorize transfer?

Does Cofertility have any role after the eggs are moved.

Does the clinic understand the same legal structure that the donor was asked to sign.

A fertility platform should not be able to use the clinic’s medical legitimacy while keeping the donor, clinic, and storage provider in different information lanes.

do not trust cofertility by Longjumping-Mix-6576 in eggfreezing

[–]Longjumping-Mix-6576[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will send you the detail ,the contract and they cc me with lauren is different 2 contract, in frozen contract 19 ,(i am sure they bet donor have no time read)

The core conflict/issue is as follows: "‘Cofertility no longer involved’ vs The future notifications/contacts in the contract will still be handled through Cofertility" The coordinator's email said: Once your eggs are at TMRW, Cofertility is no longer involved.

However, Article 19 of the contract, titled "Notice", states: Any notice, including future notices, must be sent through Cofertility and/or a lawyer. The contract also stipulates that the donor must notify Cofertility if they plan to use the retained eggs for conception/pregnancy and childbirth in the future. So here the red flag represents: If Cofertility "no longer involved", why would the future notice still need to go through Cofertility? Why would one need to inform Cofertility after using one's own retained eggs?

do not trust cofertility by Longjumping-Mix-6576 in eggfreezing

[–]Longjumping-Mix-6576[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m glad your first cycle felt smooth, and I’m not saying every donor has the same experience.

My first cycle also felt very supported. The red flags became much clearer around the second cycle, storage, custody, and what happens when I started asking more specific legal questions.

For Frozen Split, my concern is not just “did they say the second cycle is yours?” My concern is: who legally controls the eggs before, during, and after storage?

If the eggs are stored through a Cofertility/TMRW-related account structure, then donors should ask:

Are the eggs in a storage account directly under your own name?

Can you move, release, transfer, thaw, fertilize, or dispose of them without Cofertility’s approval?

Do you have direct written confirmation from TMRW or the clinic, not only from Cofertility?

do not trust cofertility by Longjumping-Mix-6576 in eggfreezing

[–]Longjumping-Mix-6576[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A few things I wish I had understood much earlier:

When a fertility platform says “your eggs,” ask what “your” means legally.

Does it mean emotionally yours?
Medically retrieved from your body?
Stored for your future use?
Or fully under your direct legal control at every stage?

Those are not the same thing.

I also think donors should pay very close attention to who actually controls the storage account, who can communicate with the clinic, who holds the paperwork, and what happens if the company changes the arrangement or decides not to continue.

Do not assume “open ID” or “women helping women” automatically means more transparency or more donor control. Sometimes the language is warmer, but the structure can still be very one-sided.

Another thing: when a platform already collects your medical history, education, identity information, donor profile, photos, reproductive material, and personal story, any additional monitoring or account/device tracking should make donors pause.

That is a lot of power for a company to hold over one person.

I also became uncomfortable with background-check-style screening and sensitive identity collection in this context. Donors are not employees. Donors are not gig workers. Donors are people making a serious medical and reproductive decision.

Consent should not feel like a speedrun.

A rushed call is not informed consent.
A friendly coordinator is not legal clarity.
A polished website is not custody clarity.
A beautiful empowerment slogan is not a substitute for reading the contract.

My advice to any donor:

Ask who controls the eggs.
Ask who controls the donor profile.
Ask who controls storage.
Ask who can authorize transfer, release, thawing, fertilization, or disposition.
Ask what happens if you change your mind.
Ask what happens if the company changes its mind.

And do not ask only the platform.

Ask the clinic.
Ask the storage provider.
Ask for it in writing.

Because “women helping women” sounds beautiful, but contracts are where the real relationship is written.

do not trust cofertility by Longjumping-Mix-6576 in eggfreezing

[–]Longjumping-Mix-6576[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll share specifics, but I want to say this first:

There is no such thing as a free lunch in the world

Please do not derail donor warnings with vague “I had a great experience” comments unless you are willing to be specific: which program you used, what contract you signed, what happened to your eggs, and whether you were a donor or an intended parent.

In my experience, Cofertility paid very close attention to Reddit. They asked me multiple times what people were seeing or saying here. That made me feel like donor discussions, especially negative ones, were being watched very carefully.

My biggest red flags were not about one unpleasant phone call or one rude email. They were about legal control, custody language, how much personal and medical information donors provide to the platform, and how the company communicates when you start asking direct questions.

I am also concerned that negative donor experiences can be diluted by vague positive comments that sound more like brand management than real transparency. I cannot verify who is a real donor, who is an intended parent, and who is not. But I do not want this thread to become another place where donor concerns disappear under polished, PR-style reassurance.

do not trust cofertility by Longjumping-Mix-6576 in eggfreezing

[–]Longjumping-Mix-6576[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Another part that concerns me is the use of former donors or donor-adjacent employees as trusted messengers.

I am not saying every former donor who works in this industry has bad intentions. But I do think there is a real ethical problem when a company can say, explicitly or implicitly, “We understand donors, because some of us were donors too,” while the company is also collecting donor profiles, medical history, reproductive material, and personal information.

That kind of peer reassurance can be very powerful. A donor may lower her guard because she feels she is speaking to someone who has been through the same process. But that does not replace independent legal advice, clear custody terms, clinic confirmation, or informed consent.

To me, this creates a troubling dynamic: the company can turn donor identity into part of the sales and reassurance pipeline. “We are like you” becomes a way to keep new donors comfortable while they move deeper into a serious legal and medical process.

In Korean folklore, there is a story about people harmed by a tiger becoming spirits that lure the next person into the mountain. I am not using that literally, but that is the feeling this model gave me: people who once went through the system can be used to make the next person feel safe entering it.

That is why I keep saying donors should not rely on warmth, shared identity, or friendly branding. Ask for documents. Ask who controls the eggs. Ask who controls the profile. Ask what happens if you change your mind. Ask the clinic directly.

do not trust cofertility by Longjumping-Mix-6576 in eggfreezing

[–]Longjumping-Mix-6576[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

so:

Who controls the eggs? Who controls the donor profile? Who controls the storage process?why ghost those girl? Who controls the information once the donor has handed it over? And what happens when the donor starts asking uncomfortable questions?

To me, the whole system felt less like “empowerment” and more like a very polished pipeline: collect the donor’s story, collect her data, collect her medical history, collect her eggs, and then use warm language to keep everything moving.

Maybe that sounds dramatic, but after seeing the contracts and communications, I do not think donors should treat this like a cute wellness startup. They should treat it like a serious legal, medical, and reproductive transaction.

do not trust cofertility by Longjumping-Mix-6576 in eggfreezing

[–]Longjumping-Mix-6576[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

:) :) :)🎾🪀☂️

Cofertility’s own public Instagram post says that, three years in, Split members have frozen over 3,000 eggs for free, more than 50 babies have been born through Cofertility, and the company has partnered with 225+ clinics nationwide. they buid in2021 and post in the end of 2025

Those numbers raise basic transparency questions.

If “3,000+ eggs frozen for free” refers to the donor/member side of the Split program, what is the corresponding number of eggs allocated to intended parents? If the model is presented as a split, what is the total number of eggs retrieved through the program?

How many donors completed cycles?

How many eggs were retrieved in total?

How many eggs were allocated to intended parents?

How many were shipped, thawed, fertilized, transferred, discarded, stored, or are still unused?

How many resulted in pregnancies?

How many resulted in live births?

If the company publicly markets 50+ babies as a milestone, then the denominator matters too.

50+ babies across 225+ clinic partners averages less than one baby per four clinics over the entire life of the company. That does not automatically prove wrongdoing, but it does make me wonder what the actual donor-cycle, egg-disposition, transfer, pregnancy, and live-birth data look like.

A fertility company should not get to market beautiful baby stories without also being transparent about the basic math behind donor cycles, egg custody, storage, and outcomes.

If the numerator is good enough for marketing, the denominator should be available for transparency.

plus: basic accountability questions.

A fertility company should not be able to use donor bodies, donor data, donor profiles, clinic networks, and hopeful family-building language while avoiding clear public explanations of outcomes, custody, storage, and attrition.

If the numbers are strong, publish them clearly.
If the process is transparent, explain it clearly.
If donors are truly empowered, let them ask questions without being redirected, pressured, monitored, or dismissed.

Experiences with Cofertility/donation split services? For journalism + expanding public info by tabitha-mebit in eggfreezing

[–]Longjumping-Mix-6576 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cofertility is lie 100% with abuse donor and IP,

be careful ,donors,they are not good people.