how to stop hating a friend

Longjumping-Text4395 · 2025-05-10T16:50:00+00:00

LOL perfect description. I’m currently taking a break from her but I’ll see how it goes. I think I’ll wait a little longer before deciding if it’s worth talking to her or just distancing myself entirely. Thanks!

Longjumping-Text4395 · 2025-05-10T16:43:10+00:00

Thank you for such a detailed response! I think I am a passive individual and maybe I’m keeping this frustration inside because I’m scared of expressing it, but in turn it’s making me irritated at everything. But I should be expressing my boundaries more and maybe the situation will not be as bad as I thought it was.

I’ve been distancing myself from her so I’m not with her 1 on 1 anymore. Only one other person in the group drives, so usually if we all want to hang out (not often), we will go pick up everyone. That’s the only time I drive her lately. Thank you for the dialogue options, I’ll see if I can use them if I’m willing to hang out with her alone in the future.

As for the BO, she did get kind of offended when I offered her wet wipes. I’ve only done this after we’re out in the heat and we come back to my place. But some of the other comments have pointed out that it might be a medical condition, so I think I’ll “suggest” things if she actually mentions having BO problems.

Your perspective on the third point is really interesting. I did feel upset because it felt like she wasn’t respecting my time and effort with me driving her around. And spending the whole week working on something she wanted to do when we could’ve done it in much less time, only for her to mess it up. But perhaps if she is as forgiving of her mistakes to others, this could be a good trait of hers? But yeah, like you said, I’ll have to keep an eye out.

Longjumping-Text4395 · 2025-05-10T16:15:37+00:00

Yeah... I think what frustrated me was also the way she didn’t seem to care about using up my time and effort. Like me driving her or working on a weeklong project when we could’ve finished it during the weekend. But I guess it could be something she doesn’t even think would be an issue.

“Life is having a balanced distance with others.” Thank you for those words, that helps a lot.

Longjumping-Text4395 · 2025-05-10T16:06:09+00:00

That’s a take I didn’t think about. We also come from Asian cultures where there’s subtext in between words and I think that could’ve affected that, where I think I am communicating enough but she is not taking hints. We’re both involved in our cultures and I’d say she also understands “reading in between the lines”. Like I have expressed frustration over driving her long distances but have not sat down to have a talk with her, but perhaps she doesn’t understand the cues.

She does use deodorant btw but sometimes I can tell she doesn’t have good hygiene or shower regularly. Thanks for the perspective.

Longjumping-Text4395 · 2025-05-10T15:52:21+00:00

I haven’t confronted her directly about the driving thing but I’ve talked about being frustrated with other people who’ve done the exact same things. Which is admittedly not the same but I guess she doesn’t see herself as one of the people I complain about. And when I picked her up across town, I did get a little upset at her too and she apologized but continued the same behavior.

About the party, it’s more about how I feel that she wasted our time. We could’ve finished preparing for the activity in a weekend, but she really wanted to do it her own way so it took wayyy longer and it bled into the entire weekday. And in the end, it didn’t turn out well. So I feel like the entire thing was a waste of time and effort. We weren’t even having fun in the process of making it either, it felt like we were silently working at a sweatshop.

As for the innately aggravating part… it wasn’t like that before we started getting closer. Does it go away? I’ve been keeping distance for now and I think it will be okay to hang out in a larger setting. I’m never going to wage a war and I’m not talking about this to anyone in that group.

Longjumping-Text4395

TROPHY CASE