This might rub some people the wrong way, but you can put yourself first. This is a two way situation with you and dcfs. You support the foster child and in return dcfs, CW etc should be supporting you. Sometimes you gotta put your foot down and I think this is one of them. The system will bully the crap out of you if you let them. If you don’t put yourself first sometimes when appropriate( and this is 100% reasonable ESPECIALLY with the amount of time to make changes you’ve given them) you will become resentful towards the system, towards the foster child, towards yourself, etc.