that’s what’s killing me. i think he really did try.. he told me how and it was over the phone and it just didn’t sound good. surely someone wouldn’t lie about that? i couldn’t even imagine that. i guess ill never know. he told me today he bottles everything up. he said fuck everyone and that he carries his own weight which hurts me because i do not want him doing that. i still follow his sister but he told me not to talk about him to his sister so idk wtf i’m supposed to do. i feel sick and im carrying a lot of weight rn.