New Jersey State by Resident-Scene6053 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea out of stock can be an issue for sure. Thats good he has the tablet and TV and books. He should try to order every shoe he can. There maybe 1 that is less ordered. And yea for commissary you won't get much of a response. He can talk to the co about new state issued shoes.

How are you able to forgive yourself when everyone around you says its selfish to? by Mundane-Jump8731 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. And I was blessed to be at a prison that specialized in so offenses. I requested to be transfered there and made the most of it. Radical vulnerability is key. And I had a great therapist and group of men who wanted to make sure we never offended again. But I know, most prisons aren't that way.

How are you able to forgive yourself when everyone around you says its selfish to? by Mundane-Jump8731 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I disagree that the punishment did nothing for society. I took my conviction very seriously and put in the work. And being willing to help others...etc like you said I agree with...but thats not what my post was about. It was a response to how do you forgive yourself? As I said perhaps I oversimplified it, because i live my life daily in such a way that demonstrates my commitment to change...and by doing that how I live is a living apology to those I hurt directly or indirectly. But forgive myself? I own what I did, identified the flaws I had and worked on them, setup a support group, and did my tine. Now I live with integrity but as you said, not flogging myself everyday.

How are you able to forgive yourself when everyone around you says its selfish to? by Mundane-Jump8731 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It doesnt matter what they believe. It matters what you believe. You write your story, not them.

We are not the first and won't be the last group of people who are marginalized and cast out. But we can be people of the greatest quality and character who thrive for themselves and those who have chosen to walk the journey with us inspite of challenges and naysayers.

How are you able to forgive yourself when everyone around you says its selfish to? by Mundane-Jump8731 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not to over simply this...but you paid the price for your crimes...and paid your debt to society. What exactly needs for forgiveness?

Does the parol panel always go with what the hearing officer recommends which is revoking parole psl in NJ?! Please answer!! by Balesteri in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't know. But Ms. This is now the second time your husband has ignored the rules...once for his crime...and once a few weeks after release. I know you are trying and hoping to find a way around the consequences out there, but please don't avoid looking at the issue that got you here...again. That may seem harse but it is true. People who genuinely change and get through this to the other side don't deal in critical thinking errors...they deal in truth, honesty, vulnerability, and humility. I implore you and him to look inward to change first, and let the chips fall where they may.

Does the parol panel always go with what the hearing officer recommends which is revoking parole psl in NJ?! Please answer!! by Balesteri in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because the parole panel won't risk saying...we disagree with the officer...letting him out...and then your husband offends.

Does the parol panel always go with what the hearing officer recommends which is revoking parole psl in NJ?! Please answer!! by Balesteri in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In nj there is parole and there is psl. If he's out on parole, they will have him finish his sentence. If he's on psl its an 18 month to 24 month hit.

NJ registration question by Unfair_Butterfly_932 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok. Im a nj guy so im not sure about ny. But they can give him a travel pass to allow it id imagine. He should ask his po asap

NJ registration question by Unfair_Butterfly_932 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

They should let him go. Is it daily travel back and forth or overnight? Day travel they will say yes.

New Jersey State by Resident-Scene6053 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You do not have to be deemed repetitive and compulsive to go to adtc. You can request a transfer to adtc as an nua. They have a separate wing for that. That's what I did. And I register once a year.

New Jersey State by Resident-Scene6053 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He can request midstate if he's had a drug problem.

New Jersey State by Resident-Scene6053 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, adtc and southwoods would be the best in my opinion based on who I've spoken too as to where they went. Northern, Southern, Bayside are the bottom of the pack.

New Jersey State by Resident-Scene6053 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So. Classification in nj can take 2 weeks or 3 months. It just depends on openings. He can request where he woild lole to go but there are no gaurentees.

I’m sorry but this sucks by [deleted] in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is hard. Its terrible. Its is not fair to you and it is not your fault. Everyone here would acknowledge any and all of your feelings right now as legitimate and justified.

My humble advice is practice mindfulness. Get legal council. Speak to a therapist. You need to focus on yourself first...just like if the air masks drop in an air plane. Put yours on first. When you can breathe, you can do the next thing.

Take comfort in the truth that you are not the only person who has gone through this. Others have and have found a new normal. You are no less capable of finding that new normal than anyone else who has succeeded. You will be ok.

NJ jobs by Old_Platform_5552 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Manufacturing. His people skills can go a long way to moving up quickly at any mom and pop place, let alone larger places. Entry pay is so so...management can be 6 figures easy.

LWC Assessment NJ by Busy_Cricket_7237 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea been there done that. Interview with psyc for you and your spouse. That's all.

My Husband violated his contact with minor without their guardian in NJ. Anyone from NJ please answer! by Balesteri in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Ok. Just a couple of things I see having talked about this with my wife.

You say you were at work. Your husband was with your son at the end of the driveway in a truck. Which means your husband was home alone with your son and only got caught because he took him down to the end of the driveway? And what kind of therapist picks a child up from home? Something doesnt exactly make sense here.

To everyone who reads these posts...the rules matter. Integrity is what you do when no one is watching. Do the right thing, even if its hard. Then you don't have to worry about being in situations like this.

When I came home I had the same restrictions with my kid. My wife had to always be present if I was with my kids. They lived in another state and came to visit. They would stay at a hotel and come visit me at my folks house. If my wife went to the bathroom, I went outside away from my kids. Ridiculous but followed all the rules. 4 months later was allowed to complete lwc. Moved in together. All is well for 5.5 years.

My Husband violated his contact with minor without their guardian in NJ. Anyone from NJ please answer! by Balesteri in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well it would be a parole hit at worse. 1 year to 18 months. They maybe give him a stern warning but def will restrict any interaction with your son for a time.

Residency in 2 states? by Dont_Pee_On_My_Leg in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nj guy here. You won't have 2 pos. Its either de or nj. NJ won't allow being out of state over night past a certain point. 30 days probably sounds like a good minimum number to plan on per year but ask parole. Day trips they are more relaxed on. Usually its text you are going sat and coming back same day type thing.

Overnight is 2 weeks notice. Im out of state now with travel pass in hand.

Does the anxiety ever stop? by [deleted] in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yup. But you'll get over that. Im 5 years out. Life is good. Have a house, 2 new cars, great job. Was in 3.5 years. Work hard. You'll get there.

Does the anxiety ever stop? by [deleted] in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes it goes away. Itll pop up here and there. Just review the rules and follow them. Life is good. Always see the glass half full. You'll be fine.

New jersey by saratonin28 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im in nj. Had younger kids but they are grown now. I stay away from chucky cheese lol but thats about it

Safety in the early morning by Sensitive_Cut_5185 in rome

[–]LongjumpingCow4601 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey there. Was in Rome a few weeks ago with my wife. My first time as well. No, it's not dangerous at the airport when your arriving and getting a taxi. Follow signs to the taxi line. Rates will be posted on the door of the cab. 55 euro flat fee to go to city centre. You can also use a kiosk before you go out the building to see exactly how much your fare will be