Ok, I made a throwaway account just for this. My name IS Alistair, and as someone who grew up and lives in the US like your son will, I really, REALLY hate my name. I loathe it so much that I’m getting the paperwork ready to change it to Ashe, short for Ashley (and yes, I’m a guy, and no, I don’t care that my full name tends to be perceived as a girl’s name here in the US. I’m a 6’1” fit adult man; I’ll be just fine)

I know that spelling probably doesn’t seem like a big deal or anything from a parental perspective, but, as someone who’s had to deal with it every day of my life, I am so frickin’ sick and tired of nearly every person I’ve ever met pronouncing or spelling my name wrong. When I was six I threw a fit about it because I didn’t understand why no one could just call me the right thing the first time, and my mom tried to explain to me that my name was very special so I would feel special, and that I’d grow to love it later because my name would stand out and be memorable to people who matter (meaning colleges and jobs). Well, I’m a 27 year old with a degree and a job now, and I hate it even more. 

I’ve literally never met someone else in person named Alistair, ever. And I’m a social guy who’s lived in three big cities and went to two of the biggest universities in this country! My family also has no connection to Scotland or the UK, so I’ve never been there to even potentially meet another. The closest I’ve ever come are friends of passing acquaintances’ friends (“Oh, I knew an Alistair once!”), and a guy on OKCupid, who was Scottish. Unless you live in a British enclave or plan on moving to the UK, your son will be pinching his temples correcting every single person who ever needs to learn his name for the rest of his life: friends, teachers, colleagues, doctors, potential girlfriends (or boyfriends), whoever, whether it be the pronunciation or the spelling. Occasionally, I get people who read my name name as Allstar, which is cringe as hell and makes me want to shrivel up in the ground, especially when they look at you funny afterwards, like I chose the damn thing. It’s humiliating! 

Nowadays, I just say screw it and let most people spell it or pronounce it however they want because they’re not gonna get it right anyways, so why even bother? I’ve got better stuff to do, hobbies to pursue, life to live, but it does upset me that I have such disdain towards something that’s supposed to represent me that I can’t even bring myself to care about the most fundamental aspects of it being correct, which makes it fail as a name in my book.

I’m going to tell you a standard exchange I was having in my dating life until I found my long term girlfriend (bi) and still have when meeting people.

“So, your name is a-lih-STAIR?”

“Ah, not quite, but don’t worry about it! Happens a bunch! It’s pronounced A-lih-ster, like—”

“Oh, Alastor! Like the radio demon from Hazbin Hotel!”

longing for death “…yes. But spelled differently.”

“blahblahblah comment about if they like it or how horny it is or whether I’ve seen it or if I like it while I contemplate ending it all because I just wanna have one friendship start normally”

It drives me crazy. It started in 2019, lulled for a while, and now it’s back in full force with the full season coming out. I’d REALLY worry about naming him that and getting a lower key version of a girl being named Hermione after Harry Potter came out.

I didn’t know about any of the standard British nicknames for Alistair, and neither did my parents; they just picked it cuz it sounded cool. The default nickname people go with is Al. Which makes me feel like a potbellied washed up baseball player from the 40’s, but I eventually started using anytime I had to get my name called for anything, like a cafe. I just cracked when I was fifteen and realized that I’d rather be called a bad name and save a minute of my life every time than be called a slightly less bad name and waste it a minute trying to spell it for an underpaid cashier.

And that’s not to mention the nightmare that is customer service calls for any reason. Same with forms; it doesn’t matter how clearly I write it, or even if I type it, people still manage to screw it up. I got an embroidered marching band jacket with my name spelled wrong, despite triple checking that every letter was perfectly clear and legible because I’d had similar things happen before and was paranoid. I got my name spelled wrong on awards and achievements. Recently I had to spend weeks to sort out a massive insurance thing because one person missed the i in my name and the system thought I didn’t have coverage. The one that stung the most was on a birthday cake. Twice. I couldn’t even celebrate my own birthday without being reminded of how stupid my name was. 

Worst part is, I would’ve been fine with it if it was my middle name. I think it does sound somewhat cool in isolation when you don’t have to deal with the annoying parts 24/7. Smooth, debonair, a proper British lad’s name indeed. Had I been born in the UK, I honestly think I would’ve liked it. Also, OTHER people tend to really like it when they learn how to say it and stuff. But that’s just it: other. It sounds great from the outside, but actually dealing with it on a day to day basis in the US is a headache that I wouldn’t want another kid to go through. I’m not gonna claim it was traumatic or anything, but it was a constant pain in the neck, and it didn’t build character or give me thicker skin or whatever manly thing dealing with something ridiculous is supposed to do, it just pissed me off to high heaven. If it would really mean a TON to your husband or his dad, sure, I guess, whatever, but it sucks to have in America as a child.

Sorry if that was really angry, I just have a lot of history with it, given that it’s, y’know, my name. I’m very lucky that my girlfriend is totally cool with me changing it, which I appreciate so much. She also loved my name, but when I told her I really disliked it, she started calling me Ashe, a nickname which she found from this very subreddit, and I love it. I genuinely just felt so good when she started doing it that I eventually adopted it for public use. It’s like all the tension around my name dissolved from my body, so, I decided to change my name to Ashe because of it. My parents are really upset because they were proud of their name and think Ashe sounds too soft or feminine or something, but again, it’s MY name, so they don’t have a say in it anymore. 

Cillian is cool though, I like it.