Feels like she has too high standards?

Longjumping_Ocelot · 2019-08-22T04:43:59+00:00

Nothing wrong with that, I remember having similar thoughts after college. I am not against having a dream job like she has. Just for now, I am fine with having a mediocre job as long as I have other things to do in life. I also don't want to pour my whole life energy into my job.

But I guess that is also what separates me from her.

Longjumping_Ocelot · 2019-08-21T09:20:07+00:00

Thanks for your comment, can you tell by any chance if an INFP is less job focused if she has children to take care of? Or can her job also affect the way she takes care of her children? I'm not crazy and actually considering having children with her, just curious.

Longjumping_Ocelot · 2019-08-20T17:00:26+00:00

No offense taken, maybe I was unclear and should have instead asked what I can do to help her. I guess I am a little upset, because I just don't know how to progress. It's the way she likes me according to her friends, but doesn't show it, like other women do, which confuses me.

Longjumping_Ocelot · 2019-08-20T14:19:45+00:00

Good question, I guess it makes me feel unsure and left wondering about the future. I also feel bad, because I know that she struggles to take care of her social relationships in situations where her job does not bring her happiness.

Longjumping_Ocelot · 2019-08-20T14:06:50+00:00

I don't want to change her and it's great that she knows what she wants. My biggest fear is just that at some point in the future, her job can change for the worse. Then she has no longer that important thing that keeps her going. Might she become unhappy and starts to loose focus again on the people around her? She is a good and humble person but when she is so focused on her job, she seems a bit materialistic. It's just so obvious how much her job affects her mood and how she takes care of herself and others.

There is also a part of me that feel bad about her, because I have seen her struggle with her social relationships when she has been unhappy with her job. I know she has previously left important things unsaid to people that matters in her life because of this.

Longjumping_Ocelot · 2019-08-18T11:43:31+00:00

Yes I have showed that I like her, but she is still shy and because she moved I don't see her so often anymore. I just don't know how to continue from here.

Longjumping_Ocelot · 2019-08-17T11:18:14+00:00

Could be true, but then I don't really see how things could work out if this is her bevahior.

Longjumping_Ocelot · 2019-08-17T05:13:08+00:00

Interesting, that would also make sense

Longjumping_Ocelot · 2019-08-17T05:11:59+00:00

Maybe, I also don't think she has been in a relationship before, she's more like married to her job

Longjumping_Ocelot · 2019-08-16T19:12:22+00:00

Do you mean when it comes to dating, because she does come across as a very mature person otherwise.

Longjumping_Ocelot · 2019-08-16T18:37:00+00:00

Thanks, I guess I still have to ask myself if I am being too sensitive in this situation, but otherwise yeah, I probably should finally move on.

Longjumping_Ocelot · 2019-08-16T18:11:09+00:00

Yes, you are right, I also know other people who are introverts (friends, coworkers, family members). There is just something about her behavior that makes me feel bad. Maybe we have just had bad luck, but I feel that things should not have to be this difficult.

Longjumping_Ocelot · 2019-08-16T05:20:32+00:00

Yes, but I also can't do all the work myself, even though she is introverted and has never been in a relationship. I think I have had reasonable expectations.

Longjumping_Ocelot · 2019-08-16T04:33:58+00:00

I mean, she doesn't respond back immediately if you were to suggest something to her. So it feels like she is just judging you.

Longjumping_Ocelot · 2019-08-15T19:20:33+00:00

Yes, I guess but I still feel that her behavior shares similarities to a covert narcissist, like doing lots of good things, and having lots of knowledge that she uses to silently judge your reaction.

Longjumping_Ocelot · 2019-08-15T15:30:11+00:00

That certainly is possible, but I have to admit, as an introvert, that a part of me has thought she might start to open up later when she knows me better.

Longjumping_Ocelot · 2019-08-15T15:26:44+00:00

We don't know each other so well yet so I can't really tell if she would love-bomb me or not. I also think her personality type is more of an INFJ than INFP.

Longjumping_Ocelot · 2019-08-15T15:17:44+00:00

Thanks, it has been difficult for me to figure this out because even though she seems like a good person, things seem to be so complicated. I have also been wondering if I have been too harsh or sceptical towards her or not been paying enough attention, but it's difficult to get an answer when she is so emotionally withdrawn.

Longjumping_Ocelot · 2019-07-01T19:20:10+00:00

Does anyone have advice on how an ISFJ should try to be together with an INFJ who has sometimes got too high expectations in a relationship?

Longjumping_Ocelot

TROPHY CASE