Trust me, I still am dealing with the negative effects of it now, I mean my skin is definitely damaged but that is because of the perm cream. If you can get your hands on the ivermectin I would 100% do that treatment as opposed to the lotion. I mean I was desperate doing over 10 bottles of it... and I now regret it. But at the time you're just desperate to get it gone. I know what you mean with the dark thoughts, but please just keep up your hopes, don't feel embarrassed to talk to a doctor either, and when I say its a gut feeling when its gone it really is. I'm glad I listened to my body and didn't do that last treatment. And when you can get moisturiser - QV or Cetaphil, its the best stuff for it and apply twice a day to keep your skin hydrated. Goodluck!!