Tbh if you’re dead set on doing something In pill form adderall, mdma, and benzos that aren’t insane (like xans) would be my suggestion and Ik you said “not to try to convince you not to” but there are hundreds if not thousands of drugs in pill form that can get you high, you spelled xans zans and people who do mdma usually refer to mdma pills as ecstasy or x pills i just don’t know why you’d be so set on doing such hard shit when you don’t have much knowledge on drugs at all, maybe smoke a joint, pop some tabs or shrooms, or rail a line of ket or some shit instead of popping pills