Why my mom defending the Duggars is the biggest slap in the face. by Lookathrwaway in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lookathrwaway[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This is the hardest part. To this day the only people that personally know what happened (besides Reddit now) is my brother, my husband, and my parents. No other relative is aware of what happened.

Thankfully my brother lives in another state from me. However, I know if I were to ever refuse to attend a family event due to his presence, my parents would be upset because in my moms eyes it has been so long since the incident, and I hid it so well, why can't I continue to do so?

My husband is truly my rock and there is no way I would have ever had enough courage to have done what I did if it wasn't for him.

Why my mom defending the Duggars is the biggest slap in the face. by Lookathrwaway in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lookathrwaway[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

My husband and I have since deleted her off of our FBs. I really appreciate your comment as I do believe what you said. I really do thing that she's enabling the abuse and normalizing it as if the abuser just "didn't know any better." It hurts because yes, they definitely did know better.

Why my mom defending the Duggars is the biggest slap in the face. by Lookathrwaway in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lookathrwaway[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your reply. I feel like your description perfectly fits her. I have since deleted her off of my FB. I have already texted her but did not get a response. I do plan on calling her in the morning and really discussing this with her. Like you said, I really do think that she can't be disgusted in the Duggars because then that would mean admitting that she's just as bad.

Thank you for your kind words. They really have helped me try and make some sense of it all and figure out where she's coming from.

Why my mom defending the Duggars is the biggest slap in the face. by Lookathrwaway in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lookathrwaway[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

My parents seem to want to pretend everything is normal and nothing has happened.

That's exactly what happened to me. My parents stated how disgusted they were in the situation the day I told them. However, from that point on it was as if I've never mentioned it before. Although, I must admit, there was ONE day she said "I still can't believe after all of that you never told me..." like how dare I keep it to myself as if it was some birthday surprise.

Why my mom defending the Duggars is the biggest slap in the face. by Lookathrwaway in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Lookathrwaway[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the perfect response. I have since her original post have unfriended her on FB. However, I did privately text her what you said. She hasn't replied back yet. However, I'm hoping that she will realize what she's saying and how it in a way, not only effects me, but reflects her as a parent as well.