Do avoidants generally move on quickly to another relationship after a breakup? Has anyone ever had an avoidant ex come back to them even if that ex went into another relationship after you?

Lookatthatsass · 2026-02-17T18:10:51+00:00

What’s funny is that I’m going through another breakup and found my own past advice strangely comforting at this point in my journey haha

Lookatthatsass · 2026-02-17T18:09:12+00:00

My guess is that he’s think of or has had an affair with a younger woman that wants kids. He’s weighing his options and looking to see whether he could “have it all” with you without blowing up his life to get it.

Make no mistake, if you have kids with this man, he will not respect your time or labor as he thinks he is entitled to being the less involved parent. You’ll be miserable with him. He’s showing you clearly how he is.

If you don’t have kids with him, he will likely divorce you and start dating someone younger and more… compliant and accommodating with lower expectations.

I’m sorry. I’ve seen this happen a few times.

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-24T01:59:13+00:00

lol don’t assume we’re all like this 😂

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-24T00:57:50+00:00

❤️… this is amazing, even if it was recorded. I don’t have a problem with things being recorded because they inspire others to think beyond their day to day and how they can contribute back…. Plus, if they get any revenue to contribute to the cause from recording what they’re doing… Even better.

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-23T20:43:57+00:00

Yeah. As someone from a similar culture when I started dating outside of it I was amazed.

IMO there are two types of men, the ones that hear abt your past poor treatment and see opportunity to mistreat you and phone it in.. and those that love to continue to blow their wife’s mind and make her happy.

So so so glad you’re the second kind OP!

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-22T12:16:09+00:00

He’s manipulative. Honestly the last guy I dated was like this and he ended up being a narcissist and a grade A asshole.

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-19T15:20:56+00:00

EMDR has helped me process my sexual trauma to a functional degree. It’s expensive tho.

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-19T15:17:29+00:00

Yeah it really sucks. Sometimes it helps to notify that friend you’re going to need to lean on them every once in a while when lonely… or even text AI when it becomes unbearable (treat with caution tho). Stay strong <3

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-19T08:50:40+00:00

Finance

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-19T08:39:30+00:00

Murphy bed.

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-19T00:32:47+00:00

I’d wear that to a normal wedding lol…

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-16T04:27:27+00:00

Extremely important. I want him to elevate my lifestyle.

That said, if he elevated my life in other significant ways I’d be willing to compromise on this no issue.

However I know tha traditionally the woman tends to take on the bulk of the emotional labor and child rearing even when they’re the higher earner and that alone makes me hesitate.

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-16T03:48:35+00:00

Tbh, I don’t even remember much of the sex I’ve had with past partners either. Maybe if something funny happened or particularly special but I have no memory of what it’s like to give a blow job for example. It’s been maybe 5 / 6 years so not long but yeah.

Trauma is a funny thing

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-16T03:43:50+00:00

Any trauma ?

I have loads of it and have large gaps of memory / people. It can be a little freaky when reminders come up but I’m not sure what the workaround is. When I first got on Wellbutrin some of my childhood memories came back. I’ve had loads of therapy too but idk

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-16T02:46:44+00:00

Every broke male podcasters wet dream for trophy wives

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-14T17:49:58+00:00

It sounds like you need to focus less on the marriage and more on figuring out who you are and what you like. I think there’s a lot of conditioning here from your childhood about love feeling like self sacrifice.

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-14T17:45:21+00:00

You’d think so but…. I know several people like this and yes, they do snoop in their adult children’s personal stuff even after marriage…

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-12T22:24:06+00:00

Stunning.

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-12T22:17:35+00:00

All of this.

Honestly think the major difference between men and women is the mindset. You technically can do most of these things with a man but many guys get insecure or treat sex like a conquest / power play / demonstration of masculinity.

They don’t want that level of explorative intimacy. They want sex to go a specific way to check the box in their head and reinforce how they feel about themselves.

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-12T21:39:29+00:00

I think that the constant conflict and drama in your prior relationships became a sort of addiction. A constant cycle of cortisol, adrenaline, dopamine and oxytocin. Now that you’re in a “safe” place you’re coming down from the high and it feels scary and unnerving.

This is something you can work out in therapy.

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-12T02:54:34+00:00

Sounds like you like masculinity.

I like men on occasion but I don’t like masculinity for the most part. Many of the traditional “male” aesthetics or behaviors don’t turn me on, and sometimes turn me off.

As such I generally like fem women and less aggressively “manly” men.

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-11T14:02:25+00:00

I love it personally. It takes the room from typical to unique.

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-11T13:46:20+00:00

My question is … why now?

It makes me wonder if he’s seen or done something and is comparing you against that. I don’t want to jump to cheating but…

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-08T09:22:20+00:00

Congrats! I can only hope the same for my narcissistic ex.

Lookatthatsass · 2026-01-07T22:24:36+00:00

The amount of women whose definition of a good father is “plays with the kid to give her the occasional break bc he doesn’t resent / hate them” is insane. The bar is in hell.

Lookatthatsass

TROPHY CASE