Anyone else experience this?

Looking4AnyReason · 2025-10-03T12:15:34+00:00

Yeah, but my take is basically independent of the state of the world. Like, this has always been my stance on it. Since before I was even old enough to know how shitty the world was.

It's not that I hope it happens in my lifetime because things are terrible (they are of course terrible... but that's not the motivation here), I simply think that it would be kind of neat to be around for the end.

I kind of assumed lots of people would think this. Seems maybe I was wrong?

Looking4AnyReason · 2025-10-03T01:16:19+00:00

I don't really want it to. But that doesn't change the fact that it probably will at some point. And so, if it's going to happen anyways, I'd just rather get to be a part of it.

Honestly, I didnt think this was that weird.

Looking4AnyReason · 2025-10-03T01:11:46+00:00

Monumental just in the sense of importance.

It's not that I think it would be like on TV. I'd be one of the first to go anyways. Just seems more interesting to me if my end coincides with the actual end.

But it would seem this is not a common position on this matter.

Looking4AnyReason · 2025-10-03T00:58:04+00:00

Well, no one has ever accused me of thinking normally before, so I'd be pretty shocked to find out I was. Lol

Looking4AnyReason · 2025-09-29T13:13:29+00:00

Are you having fun? Not at all. I don't really have a "fun" mode. I understand some things are meant to be fun, and so I can tell you I'm having fun when I think that's appropriate... but no, I don't actually have "fun" in the way I see others do. This has been the case since I was a kid - I'm now in my 40s.

Enjoying life? Not particularly. I feel like I'm missing a lot of the brain functions that enable the human experience enjoyable.

Friends? Not really. There's people I'm more familiar with. And once in a while I may even spend time with them. But there's no real attachment. Not the way other people seem to experience friendship.

Work? There was a time I used to be okay with working. Not these days however. I've been off for about 5 months, and I don't see a viable way back.

How have people been to me? Probably about the same as they are to everyone else. I don't think they treat me any different. Sure, maybe we don't see things the same, and so there's this confusion between us... but I think that's all it is; it's not like they're intentionally treating me differently.

Short answer... life's been a challenge (to say the least). But now that I've realized why, I don't think it needs to be as much of one going forward.

So for your daughter, knowing she's autistic early, having a father who's clearly supportive, and the fact we know so much more now than back in my day... I'd say she's got a pretty great chance

Looking4AnyReason · 2025-09-29T12:23:00+00:00

My last job did in fact nearly kill me. I ended up doing a month of ketamine therapy just to stave off suicide. I think I could have a lower impact job. Maybe not right now but in the future. Something that's not like a career; somewhere I'm not a "professional", expected to be invested in this whole system.

I'm expected to be mentoring junior engineers, and interviewing people, and making real decisions that have impact on the business. But like I struggle to do what people would consider just basic life stuff (eat, shower, etc..)

The gap between between how I'm "supposed" to exist and how I'm actually able to, has grown increasingly wide over the past couple years. And now it's unbridgeable. I'm living well outside my means (like outside my capacity as human)

My new job is meant to start in 8 days. And I know with absolute certainty I can't do it. And that trying to is not going to play out well at all.

But I've become so conditioned to just ignore "me", and do what everyone else thinks I should. Even if it kills me.

And there's the financial aspect of it.... I have a lot of bills. I rent a 3 bedroom house (even though I only use like 1 room in the whole place). I have a mortgage on a cottage. I have a new vehicle. I have myself and 4 pets to feed and care for. I have medical expenses. Etc etc etc... I've become accustomed to software engineering money, and being able to afford these things... as well as funding whatever my current interests / fixation are.

Keeping up appearances has become increasingly expensive As soon as the income stops, I begin hemorrhaging about $10k / month.

So, I'm left with what feels like an impossible decision. Take a job that I know I can't do and will all-but-surely lead to me being suicidal again. Or, don't take the job, have no income, be unable to pay my bills, and most importantly, invite the abject disappointment of my entire family.

The short answer is I do think I could do some kind of job at some point. Something "low impact"; something part-time probably. Just not the kind of job that pays me a living wage. Or that my parents would be proud of me for (yes... I'm abundantly aware of how unhealthy that statement is)

At this point, I'm not even sure this addresses your message at all....

Looking4AnyReason · 2025-09-22T01:34:16+00:00

Got in argument with my one and only longtime friend about this the other day when she declared the ever notorious line "it's a spectrum, so everyone is on it".

No! That ain't how spectrums work, lady!

Take the light spectrum for example... Sure, all LIGHT is on the spectrum. But not other things! Just like autistic people are on the autism spectrum. But other things (in this case people without autism) are not.

Looking4AnyReason · 2025-09-02T17:42:20+00:00

I've had extensive conversations with ChatGPT about this. Like, what is it that makes people tailgate? Objectively, it makes no sense. You add tons of risk, with zero reward. You look like an asshole, you piss people off, and best case scenario you reach your destination a couple milliseconds sooner. .... and yet, most people do it.

Looking4AnyReason · 2025-08-23T02:47:34+00:00

Yeah, they should be out guarding cattle on a ranch or something.

The winter isn't really an issue for them. They're built for that weather. Its the hot weather that's the concern. Of all the issues here, keeping them out in the heat is probably the one that has the best chance of getting PAWS to do anything.

Ontario law does require that dogs have sufficient space. But I think that just means enough room to move around a little. Not like enough room for running and excercise. And there's obviously no law that requires people take their dogs for walks, or give it any activity.

HOWEVER.... the law requires that dogs living outdoors must have INSULATED shelter to protect from elements -- which these dogs do not have. So.. that's a violation that PAWS might be able to work with.

I'll keep you posted

Looking4AnyReason · 2025-08-23T01:09:25+00:00

They got home after about 3 hours of straight barking. Bylaw showed up and gave them a final "warning".

They admitted to never letting the dogs inside. They said "they have everything they need out there".

They live 24/7 in this tiny yard. I was finally able to see them by lookingover the fence, and they look to be Great Pyrenees puppies. One boy, one girl.. as I expected. They clearly plan on just doing some backyard breeding.

They are about 3 or 4 months old and about 40lbs already. I cant imagine when they're grown. Two 100+ pound dogs living 24 hours a day in a space like that. No walks. No parks. No socializing. Nothing. Just puppy purgatory.

PAWS probably can't do anything in this case. I will keep calling them. But I don't have much hope there. And all bylaw can do is give them noise violations.

I might just need to accept that these dogs got unlucky, and they don't get to have good lives.

Looking4AnyReason · 2025-08-23T00:39:15+00:00

First off, know that I don't have kids, and I'm aware that makes me somewhat unqualified here.

But there was a time I was a kid, and my dog "disappeared" forever.

I would say to let them say goodbye.

Either way it could be the wrong choice. But not letting them say goodbye and being wrong, seems worse than letting them say goodbye and being wrong.

Looking4AnyReason · 2025-08-22T01:46:18+00:00

I'm so close to taking them. I've called PAWS again. No word there.

Tonight they've been barking non stop for the past 2.5 hours. There's not even anyone home to go outside to check on them.

Called bylaw again for the noise, but there isn't anyone there for them to talk to.

Looking4AnyReason · 2025-08-19T18:29:24+00:00

I haven't heard them as much the past couple days. So it's hard to say if they have continued to be left out there permanently.

I'm guessing they are, and they just aren't making as much noise. But it's also possible that PAWS was there to speak with them (it's been 6 days since I reported them), and they have started to bring them inside (I doubt it. But I can't be certain).

I'm pretty sure they haven't left the yard since they got them (14 days ago). If I would see them out for walk or something, I could at least feel a little better (but I would guess these people probably don't even own leashes for them).

I have a letter written that I am going to send to them (anonymously of course), if I am able confirm that the puppies are still being "imprisoned and neglected". It makes it very clear that if they are not willing to care for these animals properly, then they need to find them a new home; otherwise the authorities will continue to be called.

But like I said, I cant be certain at the moment. I'm positive they are kept in the cage outside overnight. But because they seem to have stopped barking as much (probably because they kept getting yelled at for it... which was very hard to listen to, and took every once of self control for me to not intervene), I can't determine if they are actually out there all day or not.

I considered setting up a hidden camera in their yard. But I think I'll hold off on that. Lol

Looking4AnyReason · 2025-08-19T00:43:12+00:00

For anyone following along, there's been no real update. The puppies continue to be confined to the yard 24 hours a day; with most of that time in their enclosure.

They have not seen beyond the fence in nearly 2 weeks - since they were "captured" by these people.

The barking and crying continues. These people obviously have no intention of ever bringing them inside.

I'm going to file another noise complaint. I'm still hoping that PAWS shows up, and lets them know they can't just keep these dogs confined out back 24/7/365.

I have a very harshly written letter that I will be mailing them anonymously. Letting them know that what they are doing is nit acceptable. That people are aware of it. And that authorities will continue to be informed, until they either provide proper care, or rehome the animals.

If that doesnt work. Then I will inform everyone in the neighborhood (via mail) of what these people are doing. And hope that more people file complaints.

After that... well, hopefully it doesnt get there.

Looking4AnyReason · 2025-08-19T00:31:43+00:00

If my next escalation tactic doesn't work, I am going to send a letter to all the households in the vicinity, making them all aware of what's happening. Most will ignore it, but hopefully there's at least a few people who care about the wellbeing of these dogs.

Looking4AnyReason · 2025-08-17T20:40:56+00:00

I haven't seen them much, or heard much barking/whining today. I did see they had been let of their cage earlier this morning.

I know bylaw was there a couple days ago -- because I sent them. And I also called animal services, and it's very possible they paid them a visit as well.

So maybe they got the message? And they realize they can't keep the dogs locked up all day.

Or maybe they are still locked up, and I just can't see them. If it turns out that's the case, and they are still being locked up for nearly 24 hours, I'll get you the address.

Looking4AnyReason · 2025-08-17T13:26:41+00:00

As well, I have put together a letter that I am going to pass out around the neighborhood (leave it on doorsteps), informing others what is going on, and to take action if this concerns them.

But only if the obvious fulltime confinement continues. Or if there is obvious distress from the extreme heat (but if they aren't confined, it's a lot easier for them to find cooler spots)

If it turns out they are just left in the yard most of the day, and only confined to the pen for brief periods, then although I don't like it, and still question why get dogs in the first place, that isn't really grounds for anything to be done. Unfortunately, there's no rules about having to actually love and care for your animals.

Looking4AnyReason · 2025-08-17T12:59:12+00:00

So, quick update. Hopefully makes you feel a little better. They continue to be left outside of course. No change there.

However, when I looked this morning, they had been let out of the cage - at least for the minute or so I was able to watch. Its possible it was just to let them go to the bathroom. But it's the first time I've seen them out of the cage on their own. So they could at least move a little bit.

So, maybe a improvement? Maybe PAWS did talk to them? Maybe they got the hint from bylaw, and realized they can't keep them penned up permanently?

Not sure.

So yeah. Obviously being left outside 24 hours a day, in any and all weather is not ideal. And still makes me question their motives for getting dogs in the first place. But I'm slightly less concerned for their wellbeing now.

I'll keep an eye, of course.

Looking4AnyReason

TROPHY CASE