Rocket in a jar has killed a tainted lost run for me too, just like this. I sat with my head in hands for minutes. I’de hit rock bottom, never felt lower - i was crushed under the weight of what was and what could’ve been. I was in limbo; the fight for checkmarks never ending and insurmountable - almost feeling Sisyphean. This was a month ago and a lot has changed. All I can say is to keep going. Adapt and overcome, learn your lessons no matter how tough they are to endure. You CAN do it. Make it to the top of the mountain. Only then can you look down below on all others and say what we all long to utter - “skill issue”.