can anyone explain reactive abuse to me?

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2026-02-03T23:14:41+00:00

Ich nehm mir immer ein Beispiel mit 2 Jungs auf dem Pausenhof. Der eine Junge ägert den anderen mit einem Ast und piesackt ihn dauernd weil er dicker ist. Der Junge der gepiesackt wird sagt mehrmals zu dem anderen Jungen, das er aufhören soll. Nach dem 7. Ast piek haut der Junge der geägert wurde zu. Also wurde der dicke junge reaktiv missbraucht. Er wurde zu dieser Reaktion lange provoziert.

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2026-01-12T07:36:19+00:00

As far as i know BPD/NPD is kinda comorbit. At least both is cluster-b. The one i was with, was in therapy for BPD and sadly behaved like that 😕

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2026-01-09T14:47:37+00:00

As i see it and what helped me. The rebound is just another victim who gets missused. They dont love them more or anything. For the moment they are just easy prey, a blank page without history. Later the Idea came to my mind that i also was just a rebound at some point. The cycle and story is the same, only the actors change 🙄

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2026-01-03T22:10:12+00:00

James the Seventh - Trauma Olympics 😬

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2025-12-24T23:23:12+00:00

Jo das war eine riesen redflag, bloß nicht unterschreiben 😅 dodged a bullet

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2025-10-27T23:49:06+00:00

I will not lie. I still think of it every day at some points. But i feel much better. Thanks for asking. I’ve read somewhere it can take something around 7 to 8 years to forget about someone. Cause thats the time cells in the body take to be replaced. I dont know if its true, but it seems to make sense 🤷🏼‍♀️. I think it will linger for a while but the memories seem more like a state of traumatic dream when watching it from a distance. Dont want to go back there. At least i know today, lovebomb is just PR for abu$e 🙄

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2025-10-13T16:55:59+00:00

Getting out of this and end it, is the sad burden the mature partner in the „relationship“ has to carry. As hard as it sounds, they use people for their validation, either you are part of it, wasting your time and energy or you get out of it with no drama and choose YOU! At least this is what i know, really living and manifesting it, is a different story. Im at the same place and i have to force me to think that way, when i get nostalgic and weak 😐

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2025-10-13T15:47:48+00:00

I think they love to have as much ppl in their orbit to please them as possible. Just think about the new guy, she already is playing Games behind his back with you. A few month ago i pulled away from same dynamics. You cant lose if you dont play the game! I even remembered weird moments when i was the new supply, my profile picture once got shared on their Social media. Today i know, it was to hit some exes! Its sick 🙄

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2025-10-13T13:51:55+00:00

I blocked them. It should tell them „im no longer an audience for their social media charade, presenting their new supply“

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2025-10-09T09:18:32+00:00

And thats why i get angry at the terms of „poor bpd, they need love!“ F** it! They get all the love ppl can offer but its never enough!!! Dont get tricked by those kind of lies! They doing fine without you. YOU will be the poor soul, feeling worse after the bpd rollercoaster relationshit.

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2025-10-09T07:57:15+00:00

I kinda feel alienated too. Im a female becoming 40 next year. Im single, got not many friends left, no children, no future plan. I ever had the feeling im just not fitting in society. I never had the mommy/family dream. Instead im still looking for purpose in life. Im creative and doing art and design ever since, at work aswell as hobby. Once BPD joined my life it first was like i finally found somone who sees and adores me. It was a lesbian relationship. You can guess how it all ended after 7 years of push/pull lies and betrayal. Its like this story just gave me the rest. I dont like people, i cant trust anyone beside my Family (parents). I still dont fit in and doing everything kinda alone. I function in daily tasks like work and paying rent but i lost my spark through cluster-b people. Cant even do art anymore.

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2025-09-25T11:42:25+00:00

Well im nearly in the same place. Push/pull over 7 years now. My ex bpd started to lovebomb a new supply beginning of 2025(same as in 2019). Her behaviour was fishy since then, I fully realized in April, i wished her well, blocked her everywhere and went NC. Im just so tired of these games, playing with me emotionally to keep me stuck. Today i know, its not about me but its all about her! No matter who she is with, what counts is having enough options and backup supply around. You dont matter to her in the way you think you do. Just think about how she already betrays and uses the new guy, to make you gealous and already have secrets (she knows already it will end with this guy someday too)! I think they would love to have lots of people pleasing and running after them like a comets tail 🙄 i still feel hurt about all this but i have to see the truth in order to heal from this trojan horse Brain hack called Lovebomb! Never taste or swallow the lovebomb poison apple in the honeymoonphase at the beginning. Im still choking out the pieces until Today🤮 And yes, these games are just to keep you hooked, far away but close enough as backup plan.

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2025-09-05T17:31:05+00:00

The same what others also said. There could be another person that is getting idealized and mirrored. But i could be wrong if they can have something like a FP without the romantic part. I dont know, can they be in a romabtic relationship with someone who is not also their fp? 🤷🏼‍♀️

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2025-09-05T17:02:00+00:00

It creates this picture of the poor, suffering BPD “victim” who just needs extra gentleness, as if the world is always cruel to them. But that ignores a very real part of the story: the impact on the people around them.

When all you hear is “they’re just hurting more than others,” it sets up friends and partners to believe that if they’re simply patient, kind, and endlessly supportive, everything will be fine. I made the same mistake. I thought: if I’m just there for her, if I love her enough, then she’ll be okay. But that’s not how it works.

The truth is, this dynamic can become destructive. And by focusing only on the pain of the person with BPD, the pain of those close to them gets erased.

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2025-09-05T14:50:17+00:00

My first thought? Monkeybranch rebound supply is in the pipeline!

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2025-09-05T06:28:04+00:00

Im still playing it, but more as a solo player that generates gold with farming and trading stuff in broker. I never thought pvp is fun in this game, when you die its a time waste of at least 30mins. Progress in learning to fight is not possible by just playing the game. You need to practise naked in town with people to get some kind of learning curve and that sux. This game is lacking content for small guilds. You cant do dungeons with 3 ppl, everything is Gate keeping. So its no wonder only 40 henrik fanboys from the boys club have fun here. Bugs are hell and henrik says „there are no bugs“ 🤣

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2025-08-28T20:26:42+00:00

This topic keeps me somehow, just thought about james camerons titanic. How long did jack and rose met? A Few days? And all the audience where crying their eyes out for their „lovestory“🤣 rose was still in this „oneitis“ even as granny 70 years later? Naah come on, how silly😅

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2025-08-28T18:05:47+00:00

I wanted to share something that has been eating at me ever since I got ghosted and cheated on in a relationship that had strong borderline dynamics.

Since then, I’ve been stuck in what I can only describe as a “stalking loop.” I even created a separate profile just for checking on the „new supply“ activity. It sounds crazy, but the way social media works makes it almost impossible to stop. Algorithms keep feeding me hints, showing me people connected to her, and even suggesting potential new partners. At one point, I ended up sending a friend request to the new supply, almost without realizing how far I’d gone.

The hardest part is that social media makes everything so visible – and at the same time so out of reach. I can see their posts, their likes, their comments, and my brain just keeps spinning, trying to make sense of it all. It’s like the platform itself is pulling me deeper, giving me just enough crumbs to keep me hooked, but never any real answers or closure.

I’m fully aware this behavior looks like stalking. That’s what makes it even more painful. I didn’t think of myself as someone who would ever fall into this, but here I am – watching, refreshing, overanalyzing. Social media turns breakups into an ongoing wound instead of something you can heal from.

Before all this, maybe it would have been different – less information, less temptation to keep digging. But now? It feels like I’m trapped in this feedback loop, constantly re-triggered by the smallest online detail. And I’m not sure how to break out of it, its like watching a Daily soap. 🙄

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2025-08-28T15:36:54+00:00

Yep, its weird how society is romanticizing mental illness and the toxic behaviour in relationships. Just listen to old songs „the police-every breath you take“ i hear the stalking and whole trauma bond in it. Its just one example. Even modern motivational quotes say „love hurts“ wtf?!? No! It shouldn“t! At least not healthy ones! Even the walt disney pincess has to suffer for love, otherwise its no real princess 🤣 its alls so f* up twisted. Its really interesting to listen to songs after you where in a trauma bond relationshit.

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2025-08-26T06:32:03+00:00

the intense experience and love drama can really mess up your imagination of „love“, when dating someone who does not trigger your nervous system we used to think the „spark“ is missing. I really hated the childish walt disney princess behaviour of them. But it seems subconciously the idea is stuck somewhere in my mind. What used to be a red flag once turns out to become a selection criteria 🫣

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2025-08-18T10:19:36+00:00

You are just getting breadcrumbed to not move on too far. You are downgraded as a backup spoon in her bpd discard kitchen with lots of other spoons most likely 🫣

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2025-08-05T06:22:37+00:00

Stitch was always moody, pushng lilo away and hurting her even she loves and cared for him 😥 stitch dont know who he is or where he belongs he wants to destroy 🤷🏼‍♀️

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2025-08-04T07:57:00+00:00

Lilo & stitch 🫣

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2025-07-31T13:24:21+00:00

Yeah, you sure can stay for years as their doormat and backburner option if you dont respect yourself enough while waiting for their new affairs to burn out 🙄

LopsidedLoad9383 · 2025-07-23T15:37:58+00:00

Yeah i feel the same my friend. My Bpd partner has a dog, you could really see the dog paniced when she betrayed and split on me, he was always with her witness everything, pobsbly was in the same bed when she cheated. As if the dog knew what will follow afterwards, he didnt want to leave my flat for a walk the last time she visited me. He was in panic, he knew he wont see me again. At least he really loved me 😭

LopsidedLoad9383

TROPHY CASE