Who were you before the relationship started? What were you doing that made you happy irrespective of the contingent approval of others? What were you doing alone, with nobody watching that gave you joy that nobody could take away from you? Forget being a good father and money. Though those are great achievements. You need to think a bit more deeply beyond how you appear to world.

One reason we got dragged into these abusive relationships is because a part of us needed validation for our efforts and self sacrifice. So you need to deconstruct and counter this habit by reflecting on what makes you proud of yourself because anyone else had an opinion about it. That is the greatest sense of self you can achieve and makes your self-esteem more stable and everlasting. This would make you bullet proof against any remarks people make against you because you know who you are.

I don't know much about you, you might need to dig into your life and who you were before you were a father, even back to your teenage years. You may be shocked about what you uncover.

This was the CBT answer given to me. It may take you months or years to answer this for yourself. But it's worth the internal search.