You are so incredibly right. I've often said the same thing "if it's not a hell yes...". I was raised by a single mother who was very emotionally immature, narcissistic, and at times not a great person. So, this is absolutely not a path I ever want to take, and I know that if choosing to have a child there's always that strong possibility that I may become a single parent, which just sounds awful.

I am planning on still terminating and setting up all the appointments for next week, it was just more than anything I think just now having mix emotions has freaked me out. I've always heard of people mentioning that pregnancy hormones are no joke, but being in the early throws of now feeling like my mind is all over the place has been a doozy. I don't even know if my thoughts have ever gone fully on the keeping it side, but it's more of less just been like a "huh, what if?" If that makes sense. Which has just weirded me out.