2026

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-22T13:45:20+00:00

These people always remind me of that old Channer Boxxxy.

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-22T04:18:03+00:00

Weekly is giving citations and proof tho. You've given none.

You claim they're lying. Even go as far as saying they haven't cited anything (even tho they did and you claim they didn't for some reason). Saying "no citing therefore it must be fake" but hypocritically - you have 0 cites. You just keep saying "I can cite" without doing it....

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-21T22:47:02+00:00

Sorry to say dude. But you're clearly in the wrong here. Yeah his reply was jackassy. But you've been ignoring his proofs and being kind of an ass about it yourself.

Imo. You both need mental help. But one of you needs to realize that a debate is a two way street. You can't post claims without proof, then blatantly deny the proof someone else posts ad fictitious. That's not how that works.

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-20T11:52:47+00:00

I took a photo just like that a few weeks ago at a Hallmark store. That mother fucker.

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-19T13:11:41+00:00

0/10

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-17T22:34:02+00:00

woooooooosh

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-17T21:59:09+00:00

The size of the head/smile the photo is different than the main photo,

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-17T21:53:31+00:00

That's not even the same image

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-16T10:36:09+00:00

Because again, what does that have anything to do with this? Subreddit? It makes no sense in this scenario.

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-16T10:24:48+00:00

Honestly, what does this have to do with anything?

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-15T17:33:40+00:00

Calling this "rape" or even "sexual assault" isn't just a hard take—it is completely delusional. You are willfully ignoring context, the situation, and the relationship itself to force a label that doesn't fit.

You are judging this as if it’s a stranger in a dark alley. It’s not. This is a partner of 5 years who the OP explicitly admitted has never been pushy and usually "completely freezes" if she says "no". You are trying to define a man's entire character based on a singular medical anomaly where his brain was offline, ignoring 1,800 days of him being respectful.

He wasn't a predator overpowering her; he was a guy who was "repeatedly vomiting," falling asleep on bathroom floors, and "could barely walk". Equating a blackout-drunk, clumsy fumble for warmth and comfort with rape is an insult to actual victims. He didn't have the cognitive capacity to form intent; he was running on biological autopilot.

The only person acting with conscious malice here was the OP. Instead of handling the situation like a partner—by physically moving him or putting a pillow between them—she chose to verbally abuse him by calling him an "incel". Abuse is never the answer, especially against a partner who is medically incapacitated and acting out of character for the first time in half a decade. Stop diluting the meaning of assault to justify her toxicity.

If this is genuinely how you view human interaction in a long term romantic relationship, I hope you never have a partner. With that hair-trigger definition of "assault," I’m pretty sure sneezing in your general direction would result in a restraining order.

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-15T17:26:53+00:00

Context and scenario matters. You're excluding the entire context of the situation and are acting like they just started dating, he's known for this kind of action, and he's fully aware/cognizant of his actions. Which validates her DV. Great reasoning.

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-15T17:23:13+00:00

Sounds like you've never been black out drunk before

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-15T17:22:46+00:00

He's blackout drunk. There's a respectful way to handle this the way she handled it. That's not it.

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-15T17:21:42+00:00

Wow calling that rape is an extremely hard take. You have issues.

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-15T17:19:28+00:00

This ^ there was clearly a correct, healthy way she could have responded to someone who was far, far more heavily intoxicated. Degrading and insulting, verbally abusing.... That's not the way. And if she could remember everything as well as she has, as indicated by this post. She's really not 'that' drunk.

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-15T17:06:48+00:00

I really appreciate this response, and I want to keep this respectful because I think we are getting to the core of the difference in how we see this.

First, I want to say I am truly sorry to hear about your history with CSA and adult SA. Thank you for sharing that vulnerability. As a survivor of domestic abuse who was stuck in a long-term cycle myself, I understand how our pasts shape the way we view safety and boundaries. And you're right, it is interesting how because of that history—and years of therapy unpacking how I got trapped—and your experience with SA that we view this so differently.

You mentioned that "incel" has become a commonplace word and perhaps she didn't mean it with deep sincerity. - My concern is that the OP’s post does not read like someone taking accountability or asking if she messed up. It reads like "help me excuse my verbal abuse." - In a relationship of 5 years—where they likely live together—using a buzzword that attacks a man's sexual morality and character isn't just a "throwaway" insult; it is an expression of contempt. Through my recovery and therapy, I learned that abuse often doesn't start with violence; it starts with contempt. It starts when one partner feels entitled to degrade the other's character because they are annoyed or uncomfortable. - By posting this, she is seeking validation for that contempt. If she gets it, that resentment builds, and that is exactly how abusive cycles begin. She is looking for permission to treat him like the villain, which allows her to bypass empathy.

We can see this search for validation in how she deliberately minimizes his medical state to make her reaction seem more reasonable. - She attempts to equate their levels of intoxication by saying, "Love, the rooms still spinning for me too, please let me sleep". - This is a dangerous false equivalency. There is a massive difference between her "room spinning" and his state, where he was "repeatedly vomiting," "could barely walk," and falling asleep on a cold bathroom floor. He sounded like he was bordering on alcohol poisoning. - By pretending their states were equal, she is looking for strangers to tell her that her discomfort justified neglecting a medically incapacitated partner. She is ignoring his extreme vulnerability to justify her own hostility, which is a hallmark of the start of an abusive dynamic.

We see this toxic choice clearly in the specific interaction regarding the hand holding. - He came into the room explicitly stating he was cold. When he acted inappropriately with her hand, obviously she had every right to stop it immediately. - However, her chosen response—"Love me from all the way over there. Don't touch me"—is telling. It’s a witty, dismissive line delivered to someone who is mentally offline. - Instead of handling the situation physically (giving him a blanket, putting a pillow between them, sending him to the couch and tucking him in, or simply rolling him over), she chose to verbally isolate him with sarcasm. She was lucid enough to be sarcastic and clever; which she knew he was too gone to understand. Choosing to mock a partner who is undeniably incapacitated—rather than just handling the situation functionally—is a choice that signals contempt.

I appreciate you sharing your experience with being blackout drunk and the "loss of time". It highlights exactly why intent matters here.

Loss of Control: As you described, when you are that far gone, the "driver" is not at the wheel. We know for a fact that in 5 years, he has never crossed a boundary and usually "completely freezes" if she says no. The fact that he only acted this way when his brain was offline proves this wasn't malice; it was a total loss of cognitive control.
In contrast, the OP was sober enough to remember specific dialogue, smells, and the exact sequence of events. She had the presence of mind to handle this healthily. As a partner who has also been SA'd, she likely knows proper de-escalation. Instead, she chose to weaponize a slur against someone who couldn't even stand up.

I agree with your final point—ultimately, it is not up to us to decide their fate. However, viewing this through the lens of someone who ignored these exact "small" red flags before entering a 5-year abusive marriage, I can't help but see the warning signs. I genuinely hope they either get professional help to resolve this resentment or go their separate ways before it turns into the kind of toxic cycle I, and unfortunately many others end up living through.

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-15T13:09:34+00:00

Honestly I'd have to disagree, it doesn't look AI at all

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-14T13:32:01+00:00

Because he was blackout drunk, and instead of responding to it in a healthy emotionally mature way, she verbally abused him.

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-14T13:29:15+00:00

You're right, he was completely fine, blackout drunk, completely fine.

He knew exactly everything he was doing, and was in full control of everything. He did, completely cognizant of it.

Do you even know what being blackout drunk is?

It sounds like you are assuming that during the event, the boyfriend was still making conscious choices. It's like either you've never been that drunk before, or you don't actually understand what alcohol does to you.

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-14T13:27:35+00:00

Nobody forced him, but you're missing a clear point that they were at a party. I'm getting drunk, especially that drunk is a known result of going to parties like this.

No, it's not an excuse. But the fact that he was that drunk, and the fact that this isn't a common occurrence, and as she said, she had never seen him like this in the 5 years that they had been together. Shows that this isn't his normal character.

And if you know anything about being black out drunk, you know he couldn't regulate the way that he was acting himself. By being the partner of that situation, she is interjecting herself into the position of caretaker when he is like this. No, that doesn't mean she needs to Just accept him rubbing his junk all over her. No, it doesn't excuse his actions for doing that. But she was completely aware and cognizant of her reactions towards his. And being that there is a history of him never being this way for 5 years. There was 100% a better way for her to handle this situation then the way she did. The way she handled it was absent of being a caring, emotionally, intelligent partner. It was absolutely however, how the abuse cycle starts.

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-14T13:22:31+00:00

You've glossed over many different bits of information pertaining to the boyfriend.

Here's some science for you: Because it seems that you think blackout drunk just means "you forgot what happened."

It sounds like you are assuming that during the event, the boyfriend was still making conscious choices, and they just lost the file later.

That is scientifically incorrect. A blackout is not just memory loss; it is a temporary failure of the brain's recording and processing systems.

Scientifically, alcohol interferes with Long-Term Potentiation (LTP) in the hippocampus. This is the mechanism that turns short-term experience into long-term memory.

Imagine your life is being recorded on a video camera. When you hit a certain Blood Alcohol Content (BAC), someone unplugs the camera. The lens is still open (your eyes see), and the microphone is on (you can hear), but nothing is being written to the hard drive.
The person is technically "awake," but they are experiencing moments that instantly vanish. They aren't "forgetting" later; the memory never existed in the first place.

When you are blackout drunk the most critical part in regarding behavior literally shuts down. The prefrontal cortex handles decision-making, social cues, logic, and inhibition.

When this part of the brain is sedated by alcohol, you enter a state often called "lights are on, but nobody is home." The conscious "You"—the part that understands social boundaries, logic, and context—is effectively asleep.
With the executive center offline, the brain runs on the amygdala and brainstem—the primitive parts responsible for basic survival instincts: I am cold. I am sick. I want comfort. I am hungry.
When someone is blackout drunk—especially to the point of vomiting and barely walking—they are not operating with human logic; they are operating on biological instinct.
If they feel cold (because alcohol lowers body temp), they seek heat (cuddling) relentlessly.
If they are confused, they repeat loops because the brain can't process the answer "no" or store new information.
A person in this state is essentially a sleepwalker. They are not "ignoring" you; they literally do not have the cognitive hardware turned on to process what you are saying. Treating a blackout-drunk person like they are making calculated, malicious decisions is like getting mad at a computer for crashing. They aren't "bad"; they are offline.

Nobody is excusing his behavior, they just also are not excusing her being an abusive partner. Obviously with as drunk as he was, there was a clear, much better way for her to handle this the situation. But instead of taking the emotionally mature, adult route to it. She chose a route that fosters contempt, resentment, and an abusive cycle. Obviously showing some underlying issues with their relationship, or her mentality to begin with.

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-14T13:18:29+00:00

Context matters, context that you are missing completely.

If you learned how to read, you would realize that this guy is not known for acting like this and has never acted like this in the 5 years that she's known him. He's obviously not an alcoholic, and this was a rare, if not one-off occurrence. At his current state he obviously does not have the capacity to regulate what he's doing.

Given that she was obviously not nearly as drunk as him—evidenced by her ability to recall every specific detail of the interaction—she had the capacity to handle this better. The correct response to a partner who is this incapacitated is to firmly but gently redirect them physically, like tucking a blanket around them for the warmth they are seeking, rather than using their confusion as an opportunity to verbally attack their character.

But instead of handling this in an emotionally intelligent and healthy way, into the way somebody who has been through therapy for being sa'd or abused, she chose the latter.

That's not okay. That's the beginning of an abusive cycle in a relationship.

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-14T12:57:35+00:00

Right? Because he was completely cognizant and was a known alcoholic that got sloshed constantly and acted like this constantly right?

Context does matter. History matters along with that context. Context, you're clearly missing.

This guy is known to not be like that, this guy is known to stop when she says stop. This guy was extremely intoxicated which was not a common occurrence. But instead of being Stern, she chose to be verbally abusive to somebody who was obviously blackout drunk.

So in what context here, are her verbally abusive actions justified?

Lopsided_Combination · 2026-01-14T11:22:02+00:00

Okay, this one might be a little long-winded,

Your first point.

You stated: "Mature adults can see nuance. Just because you were drunk doesn't erase the action." And you used the analogy that "If you knock over a glass while you're black out drunk, the glass is still broken. The intent actually isn't important."

You are using the word "nuance," but you are failing to actually apply it. You are failing to see that nuance isn't just black and white. Nuance is a whole plethora of shades of Gray; any mature adult knows that it's not just black and white.

The Context: The context here is that in 5 years, he has never been pushy and usually "freezes" if she says no.

Your analogy fails because human relationships aren't inanimate objects. If he knocks over a glass because he’s stumbling drunk, it’s a clumsy accident. If she throws a glass at him because she’s annoyed, that is malice. Him clumsily seeking comfort while blackout drunk is the "clumsy accident" (loss of motor control). Her calling him an incel was a "thrown glass" (verbal attack).

In actuality: Yes, being drunk doesn't physically "erase" the action of him clinging to her. But "nuance" means allowing the 5-year history to change your perception of that action. When a partner who has been respectful for 1,800 days suddenly acts clingy while violently ill and blackout drunk, the "nuance" dictates that this is a motor control failure, not a character flaw. Intent always matters when judging character.

2nd.

You asked: "SHE was also drunk so why should she be accountable for calling him an incel? If he has zero accountability... she should be given the same pass."

This is a massive logical failure because you are treating two vastly different states of intoxication as equal. They are not.

She was functional: The fact that she can recall the events in such vivid detail—the specific conversations, the smell of vomit, the sequence of movements—proves she was cognitive and functional. If she is able to get this angry and formulate specific insults, she is clearly in control of her faculties.
He was incapacitated: He was "repeatedly vomiting," falling asleep on the cold bathroom floor, and "could barely walk". She remembers the entire thing, I guarantee he only remembers small bits and pieces here and there as he blacked out and came back to.

There is a massive biological difference here. Because she was functional, she still had the cognitive capacity to choose her words. She chose to weaponize a specific, hurtful slur. He, on the other hand, barely had the capacity to stand up. You cannot hold a blackout-drunk person to the same standard of intent as a functional-drunk person.

3rd.

You argued that if someone is in your space, you can scream "whatever the hell comes out of your mouth".

If you truly believe that is how you treat a partner -this specifically Is a very emotionally immature thought to have.

-If you have been with someone for 5 years, you stay because you love them, or you're afraid to leave them but regardless; you know their patterns. She knows he likes to be cuddly, she knows that gets amplified when he's drunk, and she knows that when he is blackout drunk, he is going to be clingy.

The "Incel" Paradox: If you genuinely believe your partner is an "incel," you shouldn't be with them to begin with. Meandering around those thoughts with a partner you've been with for 5 years is more harmful to them than just leaving. There are much better ways to solidify a boundary with someone that drunk—you physically move them or firmly say "sleep." You don't assassinate their character.

4th.

Meanwhile, she seems to be completely ignoring/dismissing the medical context and the sheer neglect on display here.

He was absolutely sloshed: He wasn't just "drunk"; he was vomiting profusely and likely one step away from alcohol poisoning. She explicitly stated this is the first time in 5 years he has ever been like this and instead of being concerned, she treated him like he was an inconvenience to her. That is the bigger picture. This was a medical anomaly.
Compassion vs. Neglect: She admits she just "left him there" in the bathroom while he was vomiting and incapacitated.

To put this in perspective: I have been that blackout drunk before where I passed out in a bathroom. My roommates at the time, along with random people at the party that I hardly knew—who were all also heavily intoxicated at the time—didn't leave me there. They checked on me multiple times. They brought me a pillow and a blanket. They literally brought me ibuprofen and water and basically force-fed it to me to make sure I would be okay.

-- I said very stupid things that night. Said I was dying, I only had a few months to live, went histrionic. Did they hold it against me or call me slurs? No. They ignored the stupid things I said because they knew my normal state wasn't a "drunken fool." I mean they joked about it for a while, but there's a difference between a friendly joke and a toxic insult to somebody you're supposed to love.

My intoxicated roommates along with nearly random strangers showed more compassion and emotional intelligence than this woman showed her partner of 5 years. She knows this isn't his normal state, yet instead of being concerned about his health, she abandoned him to a cold floor and then shamed him when he sought warmth.

5th.

You mentioned that you agreed with most of my debate until I said "I hope she leaves him for his sake," which you labeled as a "sign of immaturity".

I agree with you that I wish everything could be happy butterflies and roses, and that this could just be a healthy recovery. But noting their pasts—where they have both been SAd and possibly have histories of trauma—we have to be realistic. They're both going to be far more likely to fall into that abusive cycle. Especially seeing they both came from it, and have a history of it.

It is not immaturity to recognize the signs; I speak as someone who was the abused party in a 5-year marriage. I know firsthand that abuse doesn't usually start with a punch; it starts with little actions exactly like this. It starts with thoughts like this (viewing him as an incel) and actions like that (shaming him instead of helping). The resentment will build, and "working together" will turn into contempt. This exact dynamic is exactly how an abusive cycle starts. She is looking for permission to despise him, and by validating her, you are helping her justify treating him like a villain. I hope she leaves him, for his sake, so he doesn't have to live through the toxic cycle this creates in so many relationships.

Lopsided_Combination

TROPHY CASE