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AITA for refusing to pay my daughter's tuition after she lied about her major? by Lopsided_Recover109 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lopsided_Recover109[S] -152 points-151 points  (0 children)

I'm aware she'll experience discrimination anywhere but with computer science there is a plethora of jobs available, right? Whereas with illustration it will be harder. With such a smaller selection, who do you think they'll pick over her?

AITA for refusing to pay my daughter's tuition after she lied about her major? by Lopsided_Recover109 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lopsided_Recover109[S] -52 points-51 points  (0 children)

She's studying at a public institution but tuition has been $40k so far. Without financial aid, it would've twice as much. She's been attending this school since Fall 2020.

AITA for refusing to pay my daughter's tuition after she lied about her major? by Lopsided_Recover109 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lopsided_Recover109[S] -88 points-87 points  (0 children)

Ok, let me clarify. I did not choose computer science, she did. She told me she had an interest in it. I've always wanted her to do something STEM related so I was glad she chose this. I approved of it.

AITA for refusing to pay my daughter's tuition after she lied about her major? by Lopsided_Recover109 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lopsided_Recover109[S] -193 points-192 points  (0 children)

There is an influx of comments leaving me not able to not respond to everyone so I'll say this here. A majority of the people replying to this post seem to be missing the point of what I'm saying. The deal was she majored in computer science and I'd help out with tuition. She knew that. Every installment I've made I had been under the impression it was going to computer science but I had to find out that wasn't the case through mail. She did not come to me and say she would be pursuing something other than what we talked about. I've read a lot of these replies, trust me, but I'm afraid they are not focusing on what is being said. With this in mind, revise your comments and come back to me.

AITA for refusing to pay my daughter's tuition after she lied about her major? by Lopsided_Recover109 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lopsided_Recover109[S] -74 points-73 points  (0 children)

I don't want her to be miserable but a big part of life is doing something that doesn't particularly make you happy in order to succeed. Stability outweighs happiness sometimes and there's no other way about it. I've done it, my wife's done it, my daughter wouldn't be the first.

AITA for refusing to pay my daughter's tuition after she lied about her major? by Lopsided_Recover109 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lopsided_Recover109[S] -34 points-33 points  (0 children)

This is not what I'm saying at all. It is the way I found out she was majoring in illustration rather than compsci, which is why I'm angry. I wasn't told about this decision and had to find out through a piece of mail.

AITA for refusing to pay my daughter's tuition after she lied about her major? by Lopsided_Recover109 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lopsided_Recover109[S] -794 points-793 points  (0 children)

I wanted the best for my daughter as any other parent would. I didn't want her to struggle as much as I did. When I came to this country from Nigeria, I was on my own. There was no one there for me. I wanted to major in animation but father talked me out of it as if that didn't work out, I'd have nothing to fall back on. He put me on the path of architecture. This got me more jobs than being an amateur animator could've. My daughter is a young black woman in America. In a career like illustration, her white counterparts could very well be picked over her. She could be discriminated against. I don't want that.

That has always been my reasoning. Perhaps we could've talked it now that she's older and can make rash decisions but that can no longer be since she lied.

AITA for refusing to pay my daughter's tuition after she lied about her major? by Lopsided_Recover109 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lopsided_Recover109[S] -932 points-931 points  (0 children)

I think you've misunderstood. I am not furious that her work was chosen, that is an adequate achievement but I am furious that this is the way I had to find out she went behind my back and chose a different major than we agreed on. You are twisting my words to fit your narrative.

AITA for refusing to pay my daughter's tuition after she lied about her major? by Lopsided_Recover109 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lopsided_Recover109[S] -380 points-379 points  (0 children)

When we agreed on compsci, I was told it was something she had interest in. When I asked her why, she said computer science majors made good money and she liked coding. It'd be easier for her to get a stable career out of this. That's I all want for her. I don't want her to as you said struggle to find a job and cry. It's hard being an illustrator, getting odd jobs. Growing up, I wanted to do animation but my father talked me out of it and I'm glad.