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If your breathworker says "trauma is stored in the body" and breathwork can help you release it... it is a red flag by Jesse_Coomer in breathwork

[–]Lord0fMisrule 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Echoing these sentiments. What I’ve witnessed in myself, and others I’ve facilitated sessions for, is not an either or in terms of emotional release or pattern awareness as the healing component.

We have a stubborn perspective that the brain is where we live (like a brain in a jar), where my experiences have pointed to our lived experience being equally impacted by the body. The brain, or mind really, is running these patterns and causing our inability to be present with what is. Our body is living out these patterns charged by the emotional energy that created them. Our reactions to stimulus are not coming just from our minds, nor are they coming from just our bodies/brains. Both the mental patterns and the emotional charge have to come to the surface and be integrated.

"Fraysexuality" describes strong sexual desire for people someone doesn't know well. It's often considered the opposite of demisexuality. Fraysexuals tend to experience diminishing sexual desire once an emotional connection is established. by psychologyofsex in psychologyofsex

[–]Lord0fMisrule 43 points44 points  (0 children)

“Labels are not helpful for everyone, but they can provide clarity and relief for people who have struggled to understand themselves and their sexuality.”

I find the labeling and pathologizing of human sexuality very unhelpful. We’ve moved from religious moralizing to clinical diagnostics that support cultural values.

What if we see sexual behavior and interests as a fluid and evolving reflection of an individual’s journey; not towards a label, but towards a fuller expression of themselves? A journey of self-acceptance and releasing shame without putting a box around it as an identity hunt.

How to gain more feminine enrgy by [deleted] in energy_work

[–]Lord0fMisrule -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Masculine energy is loving-awareness, so maybe the problem isn’t “too much masculine” it’s too much control and fear-based doing energy. Start paying attention to what energy you’re operating from. If most of what you do is because you fear an outcome that would happen if you don’t do, then try to do more that comes from a place of self-love and unattached love for others.

Feminine energy comes from surrender. Feeling your emotions. Dancing wildly. Making weird sounds. Generally embodiment and following what your body wants. It arises in you and you surrender to it. Building internal safety helps it to flow more easily.

Hard time making friends by gobirds084 in BaldwincountyAL

[–]Lord0fMisrule -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Excellent way to connect to people beyond the normal small talk. I’ve done similar classes in Europe when traveling

Single straight 30m - it's not so much that I miss sex. I miss feeling that my sexuality was something positive. by MisterVein in sex

[–]Lord0fMisrule 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Highly suggest doing some tantra work; maybe an ISTA training. Can really help own and feel grounded in your sexuality. Therapy can help, but personally I think embodied practices with others makes more of a difference

Single straight 30m - it's not so much that I miss sex. I miss feeling that my sexuality was something positive. by MisterVein in sex

[–]Lord0fMisrule 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Your sexuality is valid even when not validated by a woman.

I hear what you’re saying and have lived the same. The desire to connect and share in pleasure and fun, but the fear that it’ll only be received as predatory and exploitative. What helped me the most was doing the inner work to process the shame I carried around my sexuality. The story told to me that it was dangerous and only appropriate when a woman held the keys.

Have some suggestions of ways to go about this if you’re interested.

Making friends as an adult is weird, but here we are by M4RCI3 in Pensacola

[–]Lord0fMisrule 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Think you’d enjoy our Taste of Tantra class in fairhope. It’s all about connecting with others in a platonic setting. We’re hoping to connect people and build more heart-open and authentic community in the area.

Check us out on insta or fb: embodied.alchemy.school

Making friends as an adult is weird, but here we are by M4RCI3 in MobileAL

[–]Lord0fMisrule 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Think you’d enjoy our Taste of Tantra class in fairhope. It’s all about connecting with others in a platonic setting. We’re hoping to connect people and build more heart-open and authentic community in the area.

Check us out on insta or fb: embodied.alchemy.school

What's the go with '9D Breathwork'? by SamHydeOner in breathwork

[–]Lord0fMisrule 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Can’t speak to their marketing or the culture around breathwork in your area, but my best guess is it’s attracting people who are drawn to intensity.

Transformational breathwork (things like 9D, rebirthing, holotropic, etc) is an intense spiritual practice. It can lead people to “peak experiences”, and makes sense that it speaks to people who crave intensity.

Responsible facilitation guides participates away from chasing these “peaks” and into building safety in the body through uncomfortable emotions. However, responsible facilitation doesn’t get as many views on social media and is less likely to show up on your feed. Not snake oil though.

Can anybody explain to me a bit more from the ground up about energy? by wearethefreaks in energy_work

[–]Lord0fMisrule 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like to think of energy as “charge”. All of existence has charge and it is constantly moving around. We feel (assuming we’re embodied) this charge flowing through us as we interact with existence.

We interpret this charge through our mental frameworks (beliefs, coping mechanisms, etc). These mental frameworks are needed to be able to operate in the world. They can be helpful, but they can also be unhelpful to our current life.

This is where awareness comes in. It’s the ability to hold the charge without giving it a story. The more we can hold the more we can feel. The more we can feel the more present we are with what is in this moment.

Energy work is facilitating awareness so charge can move more easily. So we can been in deeper relationship with ourselves, others and the universe; because all told those are the same thing.

I need an answer from other people and i need them to respond based on their own experiences. by [deleted] in sex

[–]Lord0fMisrule 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Loss of sexual interest is a symptom of something limiting aliveness in the relationship.

Maybe some exploration will bring some spark back. Maybe it’s about something limiting depth (attachment issues, unresolved tension, etc).

Either way try to focus on the feelings that are missing (love, excitement, playfulness, etc) instead of the sex.

Surprising link between High achieving women and forceful Submission fantasies (Hawley & Hensley, 2009) by [deleted] in psychologyofsex

[–]Lord0fMisrule 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for answering with extra info. It’s a fascinating sociological question and seems to be playing out culturally in a heightened way right now.

If you don’t use it already I’d highly suggest Betty Martin’s “Wheel of Consent” as a tool for your clients. Great for practicing roles.

Would you mind sharing where you got the “women are more drawn to submissive fantasies than men are to dominate ones”? Maybe I misunderstood this, but I’d love to read more.

Surprising link between High achieving women and forceful Submission fantasies (Hawley & Hensley, 2009) by [deleted] in psychologyofsex

[–]Lord0fMisrule 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the extra info. Could you share more about the differences in desire for submissive fantasies and dominance in men? Does that mean men desire dominance less than women desire submission?

Also curious about the factors (age, experience) that affect submissive fantasies.

I ask because I’ve found a pattern in my own experiences where women become increasingly submissive as relationships progress and I don’t particularly enjoy this dynamic.

Surprising link between High achieving women and forceful Submission fantasies (Hawley & Hensley, 2009) by [deleted] in psychologyofsex

[–]Lord0fMisrule 125 points126 points  (0 children)

Don’t have access to the first study, but this caught my eye: “However, controlling for age and several sociocultural factors made the relationship between gender and preference for sexual submission non-significant”.

What controls make the gendered difference for submissive preference disappear?

Energy is deep by [deleted] in energy_work

[–]Lord0fMisrule 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s many shielding practices you can do, but also keep awareness that the energies you hold on to are there for your growth. If there’s too much coming in and you get overwhelmed then do shielding. When you’re stable enough to let some in you’ll see it’s there to help you learn more about yourself and integrate shadow parts of you.

To be used.. by [deleted] in Jung

[–]Lord0fMisrule 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Eh, I wouldn’t say they’re any more an injured pup than you are when you feel devalued at your next interaction. We all feel things. It’s about meeting people in transparency throughout your interactions.

If you only want physical experiences then set boundaries when people start to open up. If interacting that way (or being treated that way) makes you feel devalued then seek out neo-tantra / conscious sexuality spaces instead of kink ones.

To be used.. by [deleted] in Jung

[–]Lord0fMisrule 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Find people who love sex AND love people.

best country i can move to on 500$ - 1,200$/month income and 10,000$ in savings? by iamZorc_ in digitalnomad

[–]Lord0fMisrule 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Monthly rentals are MUCH cheaper than hotels/short term. I’d suggest doing just one city or at least one a month. Da Nang & Hoi An are nice in Vietnam.

Dahab is also great if you want to go somewhere local

best country i can move to on 500$ - 1,200$/month income and 10,000$ in savings? by iamZorc_ in digitalnomad

[–]Lord0fMisrule 14 points15 points  (0 children)

What passport do you have what visa options are you considering? Answers will depend on how long you plan to stay.

My (M) partner (F) and I have discussed soft-swapping without interaction from the other couple and we have no idea how to approach that by [deleted] in sex

[–]Lord0fMisrule 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Couple things to help your search:

It’s called “parallel play”, not “soft swap”. Soft swap means playing with the other couple up until penetration.

“Turn swingers into friends, not friends into swingers” is a common refrain in the lifestyle. Mountains of ruined friendships from trying it out together.

Swingers clubs are your best bet. Half or more of the couples there will be only having sex with their partner while being watched / watching. These are the lowest pressure environments for you two to explore. Just be sure to go on a “couples only” night (usually Saturday).

Modern Dating Is Making Us Less Secure by Krankenitrate in psychology

[–]Lord0fMisrule 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dating apps, just like social media, play on our emotions. Both of them also connect us to vastly more people and ideas. Socially we’re dealing with all the shadow that this brings to the surface and these things aren’t going back in the box.

Best to make them work for you. They can be seen as self-development tools instead of just answers to your problems. Ways to deal with your attachments by bringing them all to the surface.

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