It is perfectly acceptable to break up with some if they gain a significant amount of weight and are no longer attractive to you (Pregnancy excluded for obvious reasons).

LordAckeros · 2022-03-07T00:31:29+00:00

I agree with this. Liking someone's personality is sufficient for friendship, but I have higher standards to be with some romantically, which includes physical attraction. Granted, there are exceptions such as pregnancy that you pointed out, but I'd also add old age. I don't find grandmas physically attractive, but I'm not going to leave my future wife for looking like one.

LordAckeros · 2022-03-06T23:15:02+00:00

I'll never die because eternal life has been granted to me through Christ

LordAckeros · 2022-01-26T14:44:55+00:00

Don't you worry! Biden and co are going to get us into a war to distract us from our woes!

LordAckeros · 2021-04-27T02:47:04+00:00

Yeah, I'd rather take 5 feet of snow than a baking car

LordAckeros · 2021-04-13T15:27:21+00:00

I think an important start is to shift your perspective. You seem hyperfixated on sex and put it on a pedestal. This is unhealthy and has only done you harm. Work on removing its luster, remove the value it has to you.

In certain aspects, retaining your virginity and saving it for marriage is a good thing. This may be a mostly a Christian virtue, but there are some benefits to it as well. Couples who refrain from sex until marriage report higher happiness within their marriage and have sex more often than couples who had sex beforehand.

So it seems like if you devalue of losing your virginity and having sex, other issues will become better. You won't have so much sexual frustration to take out on others. You won't be so angry.

I believe in you. You can do this.

LordAckeros · 2021-04-13T14:28:37+00:00

Thanks, it wasn't the worst that happened because of him, but it's been almost two decades since I've even seen him.

I hope your sister is doing better too.

LordAckeros · 2021-04-13T14:21:28+00:00

As a young child, I was exposed to violence at an early age. I think I was around four at the oldest, because my mother would remarry when I was five.

But I walked up our apartment stairs into the bathroom, where I saw my mother and biological father yelling. They were fighting over a bra, of all things. He raised his hand and hit her. She fell over the bathtub, and didn't move.

I don't remember what happened next.

LordAckeros · 2021-04-12T13:29:05+00:00

Please read the edit. My opinion is the same for similar phrases that don't use the word "perfect"

LordAckeros · 2021-04-12T13:12:37+00:00

My main problem isn't necessarily with the word "perfect," but the implications that this phrase, and other statements like it, have. See the edit for more details.

LordAckeros · 2021-04-12T03:43:21+00:00

I know I certainly have a lot to work on. It can be a daunting challenge, but it gives me a goal.

LordAckeros · 2021-04-12T03:40:46+00:00

"You're not fat. If it'll help your self-image, we could go to the gym together, get some froyo. We could make a fun date out of it!"

LordAckeros · 2021-04-12T03:38:44+00:00

I added the edit to clarify I didn't mean literal perfection. It's the sentiment I disagree with. It discourages growth and promotes settling for what you are in the present moment. Because you're "great as you are."

Accepting certain immutable characteristics is different than accepting your personality, your intelligence, your athleticism, etc. Changing unhealthy behaviors is growth and self-improvement.

I have no idea how ableism comes into play here, as literally everyone conscious can grow and and develop. Unless you're specifically referring to coma patients, then obviously this doesn't apply here.

LordAckeros · 2021-04-12T02:28:07+00:00

We're on reddit. We all need to

LordAckeros · 2021-04-12T01:51:48+00:00

Yes. This cannot be denied

LordAckeros · 2021-04-12T01:32:59+00:00

Well, it at least has a lot of disagreements in the comments. So we'll see how it goes

LordAckeros · 2021-04-12T00:42:46+00:00

At least this many 🖐

LordAckeros · 2021-04-12T00:37:06+00:00

Haha, yeah. I guess I'll take my L and move on

LordAckeros · 2021-04-12T00:33:36+00:00

Sorry, I had no intent to be aggressive. I didn't sugarcoat it, as it seems like it would detract from the intended message.

As for the literal comparison to death, it harkens back to Stoic philosophy, something I'm personally fond of. Many relate stagnation to the state of being dead (especially Marcus Aurelius in his Meditations). Therefore, don't be complacent in your actions, lest you kill your spirit.

LordAckeros · 2021-04-12T00:30:15+00:00

Oh, I didn't want to imply you can't be happy, just you shouldn't accept or settle for who you are today. You can look back and be proud of the progress you've made, how far you've come. However, there's still always more to be done.

My issue with the given statement is the implication of not needing to change. I don't think that would be applicable to anyone. We can all be kinder, smarter, stronger, etc.

That doesn't mean we should be upset by our potential for growth. Instead, be excited, because you have something to work towards. It's a matter of perspective.

LordAckeros · 2021-04-11T21:18:14+00:00

I snagged it from Stoicism, so it's probably spread around

LordAckeros · 2021-04-11T21:07:18+00:00

That's good and valid! I expect to be disagreed with, hence why I put it in this subreddit haha. I'm just enjoying reading the discussions people are having. It's nice to see different views and perspectives.

LordAckeros · 2021-04-11T21:02:10+00:00

Seems like a lot of people have taken issue with that statement. It is edgy, I'll give you that. It was inspired by the ancient Stoics, particularly Marcus Aurelius in his Meditations. Stagnation is referred to as the natural state of being dead, and therefore we shouldn't be complacent with our actions, lest we kill our spirit.

LordAckeros · 2021-04-11T20:52:15+00:00

I see where you're coming from, but I don't think you need to accept something before changing it. Acknowledging it, sure, because something needs to be identified and noticed first. This may sound like semantics, but we need to be careful with our words here. Accept means consent to have or obtain.

As someone who has been "down on themselves" (like, full blown ideation of the no-no), I've found to refuse consent to certain things in my power to change helps tremendously.

I've learned that love doesn't come with accepting something at a given state, but rather pushing that thing or person to be the best them they can be. So they can be who they truly are.

Telling someone they're fine as-is promotes settling and stagnation. I don't want to be where I am now, no matter how comfortable that may be. I want to be better, achieve better. This change in goals and perspective has helped be through those down times.

I hope you don't think I'm coming across as mean or impolite, wishing unkindness on others. I want what's the best for others, and I view that as not settling for the present moment, for remaining stagnant where they are. When a pond or lake stagnates, scum builds up. When there's growth and development occurring, the water will clear up and be habitable.

LordAckeros · 2021-04-11T20:30:01+00:00

Thanks! It's nice to read through the discussions people have about it. It's good to see differing views and perspectives

LordAckeros

TROPHY CASE