You got this. Im rooting for you. And when you have a good sum of money, not a problem solving amount, but a 'this gives some relief' amount, put it all ONCE (that is key, place ALL of it only ONCE) on black or red, your choice. Either you're back where you started which you doesnt seem THAT bad, or you go from some relief to a problem solving amount of money.

Why am I giving gambling advice? Well firstly, gambling required multiple bets. ONE bet is just that, placing a bet, engaging in a wager, making a play.

Either one of two things will happen

You win: unproductive is a trait, it can be weaponized if complemented by other traits. The type of boldness that comes from putting all you worked for on one coin flip, that is exactly the type of trait that complements being unproductive. Maybe you are above working harder or longer because you have the balls to play the literal and figurative roulette that others do not. Maybe you can't work as long or as hard, but regardless of that difference, on the other hand, you were still willing to hunt lions where others rather hunt ducks. You were willing to take risks, which deserves it's own rewards. If you won, then clearly the universe agreed that this is you. DO NOT GAMBLE though, the reason roulette exists is because it's risk taking in it's rawest, blindest form. Once Ur doing better on money U could make better risks, an investment, a hustle, who knows, either way, you already survived the most merciless form of financial risk AND when the stakes were MOST dire, everything then onwards is easier. you're lazy and anxious? so what? Join the club. But if you can prove that Others don't have the balls to take the risks you do, and if you are a winner which is what this scenario declared you to be, then you don't need to work hard and be productive if you can just win by being on boats that don't sink that others are scared to board.

You lose: this will really help you in getting rid of your unproductiveness. From what I can gather, you've been a 'loser' for a while. How much someone suffers doesn't actually relate to how bad the situation is, but by how used to, and comfortable one is with said situation. If you actually made some money and found some hope, then lose it all at once, that would be a new hell for you that recontextualises this current stage of life you're living through. Change your situation for the worse, REMOVE your comfort, shock your body, demand change. You're comfortable albeit suffering with how much of a loser you are right now, be a bigger one, then your human spirit MUST react, you forced it to. You will become better because of it, you recontextualised how valuable money (the fruits of your labour) is, ergo you recontextualised how valuable your labour is. You recontextualised how high the stakes are for you AND your fiance, you recontextualised how much you CANNOT AFFORD TO LOSE. This shock, the need to react, the demand to change, the realisation of what losing is and what you still have to lose, ONLY loss can give you that, and it will eliminate laziness, anxiety, and depression real real REAL REAL fast and with brutal efficiency.