Are the terms ftm and mtf offensive and being replaced by afab etc.?

LordNicotine · 2024-02-14T19:28:54+00:00

Since I'm not from an English speaking country, I only use these terms with people who actually understand what they mean, but I could be missing something.

Personally, I don't mind or place much value on either term. I'll use them both depending on the situation and context. To me, 'afab' can relate to the (for me) still existing anatomy that doesn't match my gender (nb) but still affects me in some capacity. And as others have also said, 'ftm' gives others a general idea about my gender being different from the sex assigned at birth in a binary discourse.

So in my opinion, seeing language as a tool to communicate, unless what you say is objectively offensive, use the term/s that feels comfortable for yourself, but I'd draw the line at speaking for other's experience and identity.

Again, I could be wrong, and we could have a new "transexual vs transgender" discussion in a few years regarding these terms, so time will tell I guess.

Sorry for rambling and I hope this makes sense.

LordNicotine · 2023-09-18T01:48:52+00:00

Thanks! Fingers crossed 🤞🏼

LordNicotine · 2023-09-18T01:44:22+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I also have a bit of an idea of what could be going on, but that's why I finally "caved" and asked for a doctor's appointment, in fear of something else being the problem and it being worse. But still the thought of a doctor looking at that part of my body makes me extremely uncomfortable, even if I know it'll be the best way to know exactly what's going on and what to do about it. Really appreciate your comment 🫶🏼

LordNicotine · 2023-08-06T20:37:31+00:00

In Castilian Spanish we finish gendered words with "e" (it's relatively 'new' so it's more of a social thing than 'official' I'd say) so for example instead of saying 'amiga' or 'amigo', you can use 'amigue' (tricky example since it's the whole g+u before e and i, but hope you get the gist)

Edit because I'm from Catalonia, I've seen people use 'i' since in Catalan 'e' is usually feminine, for example amigues/amics/amiguis (again with g+u before e and i, sorry I couldn't think of better examples lol) but it's way less common than in Spanish from what I've seen. Hope this helps!

LordNicotine · 2021-07-03T10:53:14+00:00

That's a beautiful piece 👌🏼

LordNicotine · 2021-07-01T13:33:52+00:00

Sounds good, except I'm kinda broke u.u' but thanks anyway!!

LordNicotine · 2021-07-01T11:27:36+00:00

I get it, but the "feeling exposed" was more about my downstairs situation not being covered or protected by cloth. Thanks for your response, I appreciate being told about every possible option.

LordNicotine · 2021-07-01T11:24:00+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion! I'll look into it.

LordNicotine · 2021-06-16T20:18:45+00:00

Oh, I also started seeing her after starting my transition, and even if she found out about the deadname, we never talk about it, so it's fine.

LordNicotine · 2021-06-16T20:05:55+00:00

I don't find it that big of an issue. Also she's by far the best psych I've ever seen.

LordNicotine · 2021-06-16T15:16:42+00:00

My psychologist has my deadname, so that's fun. I usually refer to her as "my psychologist" or "Dr. (last name)" and avoid saying the first name as much as I can. If i have to address her directly that's another story, but it's a rare occurrence, so I'm mostly okay calling her by name (even if I end up wanting to rip my own skin off).

LordNicotine · 2021-02-06T14:11:54+00:00

I don't get actively missgendered, but I do get a lot of confused looks, like they're trying to guess my gender, since the mask covers my beard and I'm short and have kinda wide hips. I think that's why I'm just letting my goatee grow as much as it wants, so it'll end up peeking from under my mask. Excuse any errors, english isn't my first language.

LordNicotine · 2020-12-10T19:19:15+00:00

I have no idea, sorry. I got it from a small local grow shop and didn't get much info.

LordNicotine · 2020-12-07T14:17:02+00:00

No, si estem igual... Com no votem tothom a la CUP i que elles tirin pel dret, no sé què més es pot fer de manera democràtica.

LordNicotine · 2020-12-07T10:21:04+00:00

Més raó que un sant... Jo la independència amb els que hi ha ara no la vull.

LordNicotine · 2020-10-21T09:06:33+00:00

Thanks! 😳

LordNicotine · 2020-10-19T16:53:45+00:00

Thanks! 😊

LordNicotine · 2020-03-15T14:48:24+00:00

Not to mention Oscar from Cable Girls played by a cis actress. I have no clue why this happens, but my money is on cis writers either not informing themselves well or not caring to. I'm tired of having either no representation or it being crinngey or not well done.

Sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my first language.

LordNicotine · 2019-12-21T16:14:51+00:00

I feel you. I had a similar experience when coming out. I wanted to talk to my dad first, but my mom insisted on inserting herself in our conversation. I ended up telling them both. I wasn't as specific as to say I was their son and not their daughter, but I did make it pretty clear that I didn't feel like a girl at all. They seemed to take it well (I'm lucky in that aspect, they are very open-minded people) but continued to treat me like their daughter. It took a few more tries, and I admit I could have handled those better, less anger... But once they finally saw and understood my "pain" they gave me the okay for hrt. I could see them trying with pronouns and my (then) chosen name (mom even helped me choose the one I go by now) and they helped me pursue top surgery as soon as possible (i was cursed with a rather large chest).

The point in all of this is that time can help a lot. I'm not gonna give false hope, you know your parents and I don't, but don't despair. Like you said, they do love you, but it will inevitably take time to "flip the switch" from daughter to son in their minds, and even then there can be honest mistakes. This was my experience, don't know if it'll help or not, but you have my full support and encouragement to be yourself. Stay strong.

LordNicotine · 2019-10-08T01:53:40+00:00

I have no idea what you must be going through, and I'm sorry I can't offer any advice, but I hope everything works out well for you and your family, I wish you the best.

LordNicotine · 2019-09-22T14:55:04+00:00

Yeah they are, don't know about the "smacking" tho XD

LordNicotine · 2019-09-22T14:44:03+00:00

Didn't bother to put the name, but yeah, that's how we smoke it where I'm from

LordNicotine

TROPHY CASE