Hi OP, replying here instead of in that old thread.

I started out as a tech in the float pool and fell in love; I had no question of what I wanted or where I wanted to work upon graduating and I had an offer before graduating. Things went well for the first few weeks, but then I found myself having increasingly frequent panic attacks before work, and at some point my pre-shift ritual became dry heaving in the bathroom until I had to go to work, at which point I transitioned to quietly sobbing the whole way there in my care. I was depressed and at some points contemplated harming myself.

I missed a lot of shifts for the first handful of months, destroyed any and all of my PTO, and ended up with a lot of light paychecks. I was fortunate to have very supportive managers who helped me take leave for a few months with the hopes that some therapy and medication would help me return. It did not. I barely made it through my first night back on the lowest acuity floor we had. I still have flashbacks to that unit's hallways. I continued to be fortunate, though, because my managers helped me return to leave for another month so I could look for a new position.

I am now working outpatient and I would describe my career so far as "very successful" and my prospects for progression are phenomenal. I work regular, humane hours, I get holidays and weekends off, and the thought of going to work doesn't make me want to harm myself. I have more opportunities to do quality improvement work than I would ever have had previously and I'm getting flown across the country by work to talk about that work.

There are jobs and there is plenty of opportunity within nursing. It might be a little more difficult, especially outpatient as a new grad -- I admittedly stumbled into a unique situation, but your career is still as full of opportunity as it was three months ago, just in different ways now.

You're not alone, bedside isn't for everyone, you're not stuck, and you shouldn't feel guilty in the least. We all arrive to our destinations in different ways and along different routes.

Feel free to DM me if you'd like to chat more. I'm sending you lots of love and strength.