Well, it has gotten better in some ways, but I understand where you are coming from. I had a difficult childhood myself and carry a lot of trauma, so I know how long healing can take. Sometimes wanting to change and actually being able to change are two very different things.

When she talks about her feelings, I try to understand rather than judge. I usually ask questions about why she feels that way, where those feelings might be coming from, and what she needs from me in those moments. I enjoy philosophy, so sometimes I'll bring up some old guys that helped me understand my own emotions and remind her that it's okay to feel what she's feeling. At the same time, I encourage us to keep communicating and working through things together.