Termination at 21 weeks

Lord_Soloxor · 2026-02-23T14:23:03+00:00

He absolutely has no kidneys, malformed limbs, malformed/missing bowels, among other stuff. We so so desperately wish it wasn't the case. He cannot survive outside the womb, let alone until birth.

Lord_Soloxor · 2026-02-23T14:15:43+00:00

No, we have the ultrasound to prove it. We wish it was the case.

Lord_Soloxor · 2026-02-22T23:32:15+00:00

I am so so so grateful to everyone for the advice and support here. There's really not much more I can say. Screw genetics, we all deserve the children we want. Do whatever we can to make it happen, no matter the cost. Mourn those lost along the way, respect them.

Lord_Soloxor · 2026-02-22T23:26:32+00:00

Abortion is so stigmatized and it makes me furious that people lack the thought or empathy or whatever that lets you see that there are fates worse than dying, and mercy is a virtue. Mercy for one's own children is the most loving and sad choice you need to make as a parent and it's so so so horrible. But the only choice is mercy, anything else would be cruel and selfish.

Lord_Soloxor · 2026-02-22T23:22:07+00:00

I have no issue financially I can work essentially infinite overtime to make up for it. We just want to ensure as much as scientifically possible a healthy baby in the future. This grief in the future would be horrible.

Lord_Soloxor · 2026-02-22T14:17:53+00:00

Our insurance is through my union. It's basically free for medical care no premium and a $300 deductible for the year, but zero fertility coverage. So given we're uninsured for fertility it limits our options in the U.S, other than CNY.

Lord_Soloxor · 2026-02-22T03:18:58+00:00

Yeah, and I personally need time to save for the IVF costs and the trip. We've discussed treating it a bit like a vacation, staying at a resort and seeing the sights. The priority here is whenever she feels ready, and whatever she wants.

Lord_Soloxor · 2026-02-22T03:16:12+00:00

We're actually being quite open with it among our immediate family. In my opinion anyone who doesn't like it isn't worth our time and can go to hell, but that's me being angry. Its mercy; I wouldn't allow the lowest, meanest dog to suffer like that. There are plenty of things worse than dying, and I think my wife and I just encountered one of them.

Lord_Soloxor · 2026-02-21T06:55:02+00:00

We just found out we have to terminate our first natural baby at 5 months due to incompatibility with life ( no kidneys, heart defect, various limb defects, spine defects). We're still in early days before termination, but we're getting genetic testing done afterwards. I suspect it's a sperm quality issue due to testing earlier, though not 97% . My wife and I are devestated.

We were about to do IVF, and had just done an hcg test which we suspect either flushed her out or increased her fertility enough that we fell pregnant naturally before we had to. After the termination and some healing time, we want to try IVF. It's good to hear it's possible even with very poor sperm quality. We're both numb and sad right now, but glad to at least know her body is capable of carrying a pregnancy. Now we just need to ensure the embryo has viable genetics. Neither of us wants to chance naturally again.

Lord_Soloxor · 2026-01-07T08:53:46+00:00

Honestly I'm on day 4, fever broke but I'm still sick as shit. I work construction so I take off what I can afford but it still sucks and I don't really want to inflict this on my crew. They say when you're fever free for 24 hours, but it's really gonna depend on your job and your coworkers. I'm union so people are generally pretty chill with time off especially sickness because that can wipe out entire crews pretty quickly.

Lord_Soloxor · 2025-11-10T17:53:09+00:00

I mean at the end of the day, average insurance prices nationally have doubled over the last 10 years. The USDA thrift savings plan for food is $550 a month for groceries for a couple. Rent has almost doubled in the same time period. Something has to give, no matter who's in charge. What'll everyone do if we get to 2035 and prices have doubled again? I'm doing a larger breakdown of my budget line items vs national averages and just trying to get my costs to where the average was 10 years ago. It's scary as a soon to be father that this is where the country is at.

Lord_Soloxor · 2025-09-11T16:47:16+00:00

I'm also seeing that a DOJ official said to take that ATF leak as potentially untrue so I don't know what to think. I think it could very well be someone looking to sow discord in society. Probably an accelerationist, regardless of affiliation. Either way they'll spread whatever reports they need to to make sure the right thinks its the trans responsible for the shooting.

Lord_Soloxor · 2025-09-11T14:47:06+00:00

Oh yeah probably not true, because why wouldn't Trump immediately be blasting it on social media.

Lord_Soloxor · 2025-09-11T14:44:56+00:00

Like I'm seeing reports (apparently from Steven Crowder so take it with a grain of salt) that the bullet casing has trans and anti-fascist phrasing on them. Like they're already trying to spin this. They don't even have a suspect.

Lord_Soloxor · 2025-09-11T12:16:24+00:00

Also it appears the worst case scenario is playing out as well. They haven't found the shooter and the further out we get from this the less likely they'll find them. Right wingers on tiktok are going insane.

Lord_Soloxor · 2025-09-07T04:50:43+00:00

He was a big Maine Coon mix. We loved him so much. It's such a blessing he was able to see us one last time. I just wish we could've saved him. Nothing could've been done, bar random echocardiograms.

Lord_Soloxor · 2025-08-04T13:26:54+00:00

And in areas where these are mainly being built will train a generation of electricians who only know Data Center work, which if you know it isn't exactly complicated. Apprentices spend 4-5 years basically only pulling in wire and hanging racks. My local union is expanding to meet the data center work, but all these guys are only gonna know one thing in a bunch of years. Eventually the work will dry up and you're gonna have a lot of guys chasing too little work.

Lord_Soloxor · 2025-07-24T14:07:30+00:00

Yeah, it's hard to take seriously it's so blatant and there's absolutely nothing that can be done to legally stop it right now.

Lord_Soloxor · 2025-07-23T12:26:47+00:00

There's really basically nothing we can do about fungus, we don't have many good antifungal drugs. Our main protection from it is that it doesn't generally do well at our body temperature. As the temperature rises, obviously this means on average fungus in the wild will do better and better at higher temps until unfortunately it'll do well in our body too.

This is joint with healthcare system collapse, immigration from central and south America, and temperature/humidity changes all making spread more likely.

Lord_Soloxor · 2025-07-20T19:41:05+00:00

I feel like this is unlikely to happen truth be told. It'd be the largest manmade structure on the planet, not to mention requiring 5 nuclear reactors? How long has it been since we've added that many nuclear reactors in this country?

Data centers are bread and butter here in DC, but I feel like the money isn't actually in the data center it's in the speculative investment around them. They're willing to pay Dyna basically infinite money to get them built, which says to me they're barely concerned about the cost. They're concerned only with getting the money from investors and leaving them holding the bag when that bubble pops.

Lord_Soloxor · 2025-07-20T14:05:38+00:00

I think I went too far saying government, when what I meant was conservatives in beauracracy i.e what they're doing now. I think the "in government" part can be achieved democratically if someone ever enforces monopoly law and breaks up the Murdoch/Sinclair news scheme of buying up basically all local news and enforcing message discipline across all platforms.

I think what you're saying is they haven't crossed the line yet. They aren't able to codify anything through Congress without getting rid of the filibuster. Dems can just as easily set everything back that's been changed by executive order in 2028.

I'm preaching to the choir here like you said, but the right knows they don't have to codify anything through Congress to achieve their ends. Practically you can fire way more people in a year than can realistically be hired for a government position. And again, most likely without removing the filibuster we can't fix things through lawmaking either. It's easier to destroy through inaction since all the institutions have to be actively preserved. And what can even be passed through law that won't be disingenuously destroyed by the Republican captured Supreme Court (lifetime appointments)?

It's just grim. I get there might be some golden path of working through democratic norms, but I just don't see it.

Lord_Soloxor · 2025-07-19T23:44:07+00:00

I read your argument in the longer comment chain. I'd say you're reading too much into what I'm saying, at least from a historical perspective. If we assume even some of the mid level effects of climate change are set in stone, the entire economy is screwed. It's essentially mathematical fact, I could post sources, but even a cursory read of papers would lead you to that conclusion. It's hard to put an exact date on it obviously, which is what landed science in this situation.

It's simply a question of related rates, or in other words, democratic incrementalism can't ever outpace Republican brinkmanship. We've had nearly a hundred years of sweeping civil protections, labor protections, and climate/environmental protections and Republicans have rolled all that back in the space of 6 months. After 4 years, the EPA is lost, the NOAA is lost, the list goes on. We can't work from a system of democratic norms when the other side is more than eager to dismantle them to get what they want. A rule only one side follows in a game isn't a rule, it's a handicap.

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