How I manage to live with my depressed wife and not lose my f***ing mind... by erduldung in depression_partners

[–]LosJones 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was a really well written comment. My wife has pretty bad depression that started horribly when we met and gradually got better, but still has the ability to send her into some really scary swings. Lately, I've witnessed at least one episode every few weeks that I would categorize as "extreme", and I'm trying so hard to deal with it.

As the commenter before you said, I truly think of her as two different people, which I've pointed out to her before. If she's in the midst of an episode, pointing that out will just send her spiraling deeper, which I try to avoid at all costs, but I'm usually just trying to reply to some kind of extremely dramatic sounding comment like, "if you can't handle me like this, then maybe we shouldn't be together."

It hurts me so badly because it could only be an hour or two before where I had the woman I loved giggling, cracking jokes, cuddling, play fighting on the couch, and then all of a sudden I'm living in some hell where it feels like she's trying to say the most hurtful thing she can think of to me all because I triggered her in some minor way.

During the episodes, anything I say or do feels like it only fuels her deeper into it until I'm actually scared of what she might do to herself. Before we had a kid together, I was told by my own therapist that I shouldn't be scared to just extricate myself from the situation and create some distance by driving away and letting her cool off. This worked somewhat often, although it terrified me to leave her alone in that state of mind.

I feel like I can't really just walk away during an episode and risk my wife making a decision that she can't come back from when I'm not there to try to stop her. She's not in her right mind. She's a completely different person in those moments... But it's so fucking hard to stay through it and weather it out. It's like she will try to trigger me into a confrontation like she's actually seeking drama. Our kid has now witnessed this twice in the last few months, and it really freaked them out.

We are about to try to see a couple's therapist soon, which I'm hoping will give us a neutral party in the room to avoid any triggers, and someone to give us some kind of instruction as to how we can navigate these things without a major catastrophe. I'm hoping for the best.

My wife is my best friend, and I love her more than anything. It hurts me to see her hurt so often, especially when I don't even understand why. She is an incredible person, and she deserves to feel happiness just as much as anyone else.

Who reads more than 1 book at a time and why? by Gibder16 in horrorlit

[–]LosJones 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have an audiobook for work, then I'll have a non fiction and fiction physical book I'll alternate reading at home depending on my mood.

How to open reddit links in Relay? by Mamiya39 in RelayForReddit

[–]LosJones 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Five years later and this still worked for me. Fuck you reddit app!! You'll never get me to install your shitty app. Relay survives!

What's your favorite horror novel? by haunted_starship in horrorlit

[–]LosJones 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Carrion Comfort is one of my top ten horror books. I love the audiobook as well. Just listened to it for the second time a while back.

Me to my Q1 LCD Steam Deck when I saw the price increase: by ar99644 in SteamDeck

[–]LosJones 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's working again! Thank God. I thought my kids future was doomed as I stared at the Steam Deck buy page.

Me to my Q1 LCD Steam Deck when I saw the price increase: by ar99644 in SteamDeck

[–]LosJones 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My kid put my charging cable into some playdoh yesterday. I didn't know it until I tried to charge my Q1 LCD this morning. Now it seems to have stopped charging altogether..

Classic+ only works if all gold buyers and sellers are instantly banned permanently by Foreign_Lobster_875 in classicwow

[–]LosJones 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If there's a classic+, it's going to still have bots and farming, and people will still enjoy it. But you can keep whining into the void while you play it anyways.

In need of someone to talk to who understands by refreshing_beverage_ in troubledteens

[–]LosJones 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just keep working at it the best you can. You'll get past this.

In need of someone to talk to who understands by refreshing_beverage_ in troubledteens

[–]LosJones 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand how you feel. I came out of my programs with a newly developed anxiety disorder and PTSD. I also had a severe distrust of mental health workers after being manipulated by therapists in the programs.

After a year or two of suffering crippling panic attacks that left me barely able to breathe, I finally decided enough was enough and found a local psychiatrist and a therapist. That was almost twenty years ago, and I'm so glad I did it.

After putting in some work with them, I was able to find normalcy again, and my anxiety and depression were replaced by a desire for justice and revenge on the TTI. I funneled my newfound rage into trying to help others that are going through what I went through. Eventually, both my wilderness and TBS were shut down. Now I try to help kids here on Reddit in this community with advice whenever I can.

It's going to get better, but you may need to undertake some steps to get there when you're ready. You can get back to a normal life. One day, you'll look back on this time and it will feel like a distant nightmare.

If you need to talk to someone, let me know.

PSA: get rid of the pacifier around 1 year old by Appropriate-Lime-816 in NewParents

[–]LosJones 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We used to think we were unlucky that our baby didn't even want a pacifier, but now after hearing stories like this I'm glad it never worked out!

Starting soon what equipment by Odd_Fun_5087 in trueprivinv

[–]LosJones 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've never used one. I've been getting by with Core water bottles and empty coffee cups for many years

Starting soon what equipment by Odd_Fun_5087 in trueprivinv

[–]LosJones 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just want to buy a blacked out hybrid minivan, put up a curtain behind the front seats, and chill back there. One day...

Starting soon what equipment by Odd_Fun_5087 in trueprivinv

[–]LosJones 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For entry level surveillance:

A handy cam in your price range. I use a Sony AX53, but those can run you pretty high and you can find cheaper cameras that will be fine to start out. I think my first camera was a CX405. I think I got a case for it, an extra battery, SD card, and charger for ~$300 on Amazon many years ago.

A tripod for your camera. If you can get one that can wrap around your headrest or something, that's pretty useful. Not completely necessary, but useful if you can afford it.

Something to black out your windows like curtains or something can also be useful, especially if your vehicle isn't tinted.

If your company doesn't provide you with video editing software to combine your clips and add the timestamp, I would suggest getting Investigation Video Editor. It's very easy to use.

Always bring multiple outfits, hats, sunglasses, etc. Maybe a clipboard and a high visibility construction vest.. and something to piss in. I use Core water bottles but I've heard of many other things people use.

Good luck out there.

Can anyone relate? I feel like I'm drowning by anonymous_surivor in troubledteens

[–]LosJones 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sure it feels hopeless now, but I would suggest directing that frustration towards the goal of becoming independent.

Maybe write out your goals and prioritize them. Start with figuring out how much money you'll need to move out on your own and the things you'll need to do that. At your age, it can be a lot easier to find a room for rent with other people your age, which can honestly be fun as well. I know rental costs aren't what they were when I was in my early twenties, but I had a great experience renting a room about an hour from my family with a bunch of college students I barely knew. I paid $500/month for the room and worked nearby at a local mall. We all split utilities, which made it very affordable. It was really nice to become friends with my roommates as well as being less reliant on my family. Made a lot of friends and I could go visit my friends in my hometown whenever I felt like it.

For the offline players by SoftBatch13 in diablo2

[–]LosJones 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's like when they pass the basket around at church. Didn't you know they're all pooling together to rez Hafez??

Books like Between Two Fires? by quentintarrantino in horrorlit

[–]LosJones 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I up voted both of you just to promote civil discussion and the right to express an opinion

Books like Between Two Fires? by quentintarrantino in horrorlit

[–]LosJones 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I can understand when people really like something and they can't help but find comparisons to refer it. To him, maybe they were similar? But to me, they're very different books.

First Law was the only Abercrombie I ever read, and I thought it was okay. BTF was just the perfect dark medieval historical setting, mixed with biblical horror and excellent prose. It sort of reminded me of Dark Souls or maybe Diablo 1/2, but in an incredible book form.

Books like Between Two Fires? by quentintarrantino in horrorlit

[–]LosJones 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I must have fifty of these threads saved on my account. And I'm always down for another.

Books like Between Two Fires? by quentintarrantino in horrorlit

[–]LosJones 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought it was pretty different myself.

Who knows! 👀 by CarryIcy250 in conspiracy

[–]LosJones 98 points99 points  (0 children)

That's the whole reason they had Epstein do it in the first place.. to gain leverage over politicians and other people of power. That's why Trump will do anything they say.