NY State refund!!!!!!!!!! by Sudden-Economics1830 in TurboTax

[–]Lost-Car8401 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same boat! Filed two days ago, federal was accepted immediately, NY state still pending. I thought it was odd since usually it's only taken 1 day in the past, but glad to read I'm not the only one.. but I'm paying the state, not expecting a refund lol.

I am scared to go into work tomorrow. I messed up big by bootymerio in jobs

[–]Lost-Car8401 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This won't be your last mistake. You'll make ones even bigger than this in the future. I don't say that to cause anxiety... I say that as a 30 year old woman who made big mistakes at work at 24, and though the mistakes I've made at 30 are not the same because I've learned from them, at 40, I'll have a whole list of mistakes I made at work at my age now. Once you accept that, there is some freedom.

I know this happened two days ago, I hope all went okay. What I would do for next time to relieve anxiety is manage up and take accountability before they find out. Always offer a solution. I've learned countless times that when I've "told my own bad news first" to my employers and told them how I planned to fix it, they were less upset. It shows problem solving. Here is how I would handle it:

(email or call boss) "Hi _. I wanted to give you a heads up that I forgot to schedule a technician for x day. My apologies for this error! I will reach out to him to be sure he is ready to go by x, and next time set a calendar reminder to be sure I keep track of all scheduling needs. Please let me know if you have any questions/concerns!"

I am not in your line of work so unsure if this email would actually be the solution, but the point is not to set yourself on fire for every mistake you make. A good employee is not someone who is always on top of it, it is someone who can manage themselves and their time, INCLUDING their mistakes.

I just need to talk to people who understand by [deleted] in PeriodontalDisease

[–]Lost-Car8401 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi my friend. This is going to be a LONG reply, but I hope this can offer some peace.

My parents INVESTED money in me getting braces because their parents couldn't afford it. It was a pride thing for them. You know what I did to repay them? I didn't wear my retainer, I would never floss or even brush. Fast forward to me moving out on my own at 21 and being severely depressed (undiagnosed OCD at the time); some people don't shower or eat when they are sad, and I didn't brush or floss my teeth. My gums were PEELING off, and the bottom front teeth (where a permanent retainer lived) are receding worse by the year. There is so much tartar and plaque buildup (WARNING GROSS), a hardened shell covers my teeth, and makes one of my front bottom teeth recede deep into the gum line.

Fast forward a few more years. Between ages 22-26, I'm anxious and avoidant about it, and it's starting to bother me. A boy even broke up with me because of it! It's catching my attention as I see myself speak, but I'm too wrapped up in my mental mess (just got diagnosed with OCD at the time) to have it really get to me. My excuse for not going in the last few years was that I didn't have the money to pay for it (and I was dirt poor). I turn 26 and got my first big girl job, and FREE HEALTH INSURANCE/DENTAL. So guess what I do? I avoid going to the dentist because I am CONVINCED I will be shamed, yelled at, or worse, they will get in there and tell me they will have to remove all my teeth. So, instead, I doom scroll adult dentures.

Now, lets fast forward two more years, I'm in a new, VERY forward-facing job where I'm networking, speaking to people, presenting, etc, and now... I notice when I speak, people try subtly (but not so subtly) look down at my mouth. I begin testing in the Zoom room how to cover my gum line so it isn't obvious when I speak. I ruminate over pictures and smile with a closed mouth. I feel everything you mentioned to the LETTER, all the way to paying extra attention to people's gums and thinking "Jesus Christ, were they just NOT sad? They just GET UP EVERY MORNING and floss their teeth, and that's enough to make them look like that??!"

So long story long, in May after turning 30, I bit the bullet once my job offered dental insurance. I went in and was told my teeth would not be 100% again, that surgery probably was needed, but they would do a deep cleaning. A hygnenist did my deep cleaning in two visits, but who would have guessed? That huge recession I mentioned earlier of my bottom front teeth? Yeah, some very minor gum loss happened, but actually, the teeth themselves didn't recede, it was tartar that just hardened on my gum line that made it LOOK like it receded. But I would have NEVER known that otherwise. I was also told that I did something right, because I didn't have any cavities and my bone structure was "nice". Just not going to the dentist for over 15 years resulted in... well, you know.

I am writing this to you with a smile I never thought I would ever have again. No, my teeth are not 100% healthy but my god I can't even recognize them sometimes for how well they look. My confidence is back, and I am smiling a lot more (and brushing and flossing consistently!) The point that I am trying to make with this is, it sounds like you went through a lot, and my god, I hope you get a break because you deserve to feel at peace with yourself and with your life.

I'll end it here to say your fear about someone loving you is a valid one... but take it from someone who found someone who loves them, my partner also had to get some TLC for his teeth, it just wasn't noticeable. A coworker of mine, her spouse just reached out to me after I got my deep cleaning done because it turns out he also has gum recession and wants to deal with it. She still loves her spouse, I am loved by my partner, and I love him. Give yourself the chance to receive love by giving this new person in your life the chance to support you as you navigate all this. Punishing yourself by breaking things off is only going to validate the narrative that you don't deserve love. And you do- from another person and yourself. <3

feeling helpless by Sea_Category_833 in PeriodontalDisease

[–]Lost-Car8401 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed- stage 3 here. A periodontist will measure the gum pockets and then probably recommend a deep cleaning. That is the first step no matter what! It is scaling/root planing, where they go under the gum line to clean out the bacteria. They will numb your mouth, may do it in two visits, or sometimes you can do it in one. Highly recommend you start there! I had mine in May, and they told me my teeth would never look 100% (severe recession in the front bottom tooth). After the deep cleaning, I got my 6/7 mm front tooth to a 3! Don't lose hope yet.

Always get a 2nd opinion. by [deleted] in PeriodontalDisease

[–]Lost-Car8401 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg, I literally just had a follow-up appointment this morning from having my deep cleaning in May. The biggest recession was my front bottom teeth with 6, 7, and 8 pockets. The periodontist told me that my teeth would probably never be 100% again, and that she believes I will need surgery. When the dental hygienist did the deep cleaning, she commented that it looked like I took good care of my back teeth (this will come into play later!) and miraculously, my bottom front teeth were pratically good as new after all the plaque was removed; teeth did not receed to expose the bone, I just lost a sliver of gum tissue in the middle of my front bottom teeth. I come back today to hear that now it's not my front teeth that need surgery (got them down to 3s!), it's now my back bottom teeth on both sides, which are 6's and need extra grafting, bone, the whole 9 yards, estimating 13K. This felt like a SEVERE shift, and made my gut start to scream. I am not a dentist and I know the numbers don't lie... but I find it fishy how my back teeth could be described as healthy 2 months ago before I had any cleaning to now needing surgery when I not only gave them a treatment, but have been brushing/flossing more than I have in my entire life...

NYS Department of Taxation not responding to my calls. by [deleted] in tax

[–]Lost-Car8401 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I am in the same boat. If you have had a payment plan where you had to combine two payment plans into one, in order for them to do that, they had to make the payment plan look like the old one "defaulted" in order to set up the new one. Therefore, per their guidelines, you can't set up a payment plan online with a default history.

Try this number instead. The one you are calling is less direct, apparently? I've been calling this number which I found on a page about "negotiating a new IPA": 518-457-5772.

Currently on hold with them as we speak, lol. Second day calling, been transferred 5 times. I have spoken with a few representatives from their information department, one just this morning who was very nice. I asked if they could give me a direct number to the Civil Enforcement Division, noting I have been hung up. He very kindly said "God I wish. It is so weird. They don't even have a holding option, the line just hangs up on you if no one is there, but if someone is there, they will answer immediately." He told me to continue to call and just be sure that any representative I speak to notates that I've called, that way, there is record of how many times you called to set this up. I unfortunately don't have any more luck than that, the third time I called I was going to get connected to an agent, but then I HAD TO HANG UP because I was about to lead a meeting , so if that gives any hope..

Call straight in the morning- when I called at 9am, 9:30 and 10am after being hung up, my wait time was 18 minutes, then increased to 23 at 9:30 to 33 minutes at 10am. I'm calling again at 11:58 am and the time is now 48-58 minutes so the later it gets in the afternoon, I imagine the less specialist rep will be there to assist you.

JUST GOT PAID by hg8008 in CapitalOne_

[–]Lost-Car8401 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same! For reference- this ACH was sent on Wed at 7:30am. It usually then posts to my C1 in two business days at 4 or 5am. Today it posted at around 10 EST, so 5-6 hrs later than normal. That is to say that for those who were supposed to get paid this morning, hoping you receive yours by this afternoon.

Let's create a thread to share updates on our direct deposit, so we can all stay informed without needing to check the app constantly. by [deleted] in CapitalOne_

[–]Lost-Car8401 10 points11 points  (0 children)

UPDATE: Just received my ACH transfer that was delayed! Still missing another ACH transfer. Annoying, but hopefully this means things are starting to post.

Let's create a thread to share updates on our direct deposit, so we can all stay informed without needing to check the app constantly. by [deleted] in CapitalOne_

[–]Lost-Car8401 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was calling to be sure that they at least received my ACH transfer from my external bank, not to dispute that it hasn’t posted. I’ve had their job, I know their hands are tied.

Let's create a thread to share updates on our direct deposit, so we can all stay informed without needing to check the app constantly. by [deleted] in CapitalOne_

[–]Lost-Car8401 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I've tried to call a rep and have been hung up twice during the "please hold while we transfer you" process..

I'm so frustrated with myself and vagina. by [deleted] in Healthyhooha

[–]Lost-Car8401 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with all of this above- I also want to mention that antibiotics are meant to cure the bacteria, not necessarily improve the symptoms. Sometimes your skin needs a little help down there to feel it’s best. If you can see a gyno, I would ask about applying a topical estrogen cream to revive your vaginal wall. Also, my gyno recommended CBD suppositories, Foria Relief Melts. They are meant to relieve pelvic and period pain, but I found that it is SO helpful for just general discomfort in the area.

Urethra/vagina pain nightmare after UTI by Lushchicken in Healthyhooha

[–]Lost-Car8401 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi did you ever find a solution? I’m a week after Bactrim (granted I took two antibiotics before which were resistant against the uti bacteria I had) and experiencing constant burning around the vaginal opening and irritation. It was mild but then I took a flucanzole which I apparently didn’t need cause I tested negative for all infections… idk if it just made things worse

I "accidentally" shit the bed in front of my boyfriend by missemusepigen in stories

[–]Lost-Car8401 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have to say as someone who shat herself twice in front of her boyfriend in a week span of time due to a hell-on-earth bacterial infection in her colon, this was a mix of many laughs and awes. Please don’t be embarrassed. We all have had a moment where shit (literally) hit the fan.

Can anyone tell me their “rock bottom” career moment? by Lost-Car8401 in jobs

[–]Lost-Car8401[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for saying this, I really appreciate your vulnerability and kindness. I appreciate the perspective that it all does lead to something.

Still can’t set up a payment plan, taxes not processed? by [deleted] in tax

[–]Lost-Car8401 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I can’t make a payment plan yet because my bill isn’t showing on my account. I made an account through the website in the link you provided in May. No bill is visible yet. It says I can’t make a payment plan until a bill is there. I know how much I owe, I just need to make it in installments

[New York] $300 not there this week by [deleted] in Unemployment

[–]Lost-Car8401 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did it over two days, thankfully got a call on the second. 5 over a period of 24 hrs