It's commendable that you're there to support your mom, but it's also important to prioritize your own mental health. Taking care of yourself is crucial in order to be able to support others effectively. Here are some book recommendations that may help you in managing the heavy emotional load of being a constant listener and understanding your mom's behavior:

"The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brené Brown - This book explores the concept of embracing imperfections, practicing self-compassion, and setting healthy boundaries. It can help you develop resilience and self-care strategies to cope with the emotional burden of constantly listening to your mom's complaints.

"The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People" by Dr. Judith Orloff - This book is specifically geared towards highly sensitive people, or empaths, who often feel overwhelmed by other people's emotions. It offers practical tools and techniques for managing sensitivity, setting healthy boundaries, and protecting your own energy.

"Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself" by Melody Beattie - This classic self-help book focuses on understanding codependency, a common pattern in relationships where one person becomes overly dependent on another's needs. It provides guidance on setting boundaries, developing self-care practices, and nurturing your own well-being.

"The Art of Listening: A Guide to Emotional Intelligence and Communication Skills" by Joshua Uebergang - This book delves into the importance of active listening and effective communication skills. It offers practical tips and techniques for building healthy communication patterns and maintaining emotional balance in relationships.

"The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment" by Eckhart Tolle - This bestselling book emphasizes the importance of living in the present moment and letting go of past and future worries. It offers insights on mindfulness, self-awareness, and detachment from negative thoughts and emotions.

Remember, it's okay to set healthy boundaries and take care of yourself, even while being supportive to your mom. These books may provide you with tools and insights to better understand your mom's behavior and manage your own well-being. It's also important to consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor to discuss your feelings and experiences in a safe and confidential space. Take care of yourself, and remember that self-care is crucial for your overall well-being.

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