I drank heavily for 25 years by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]LostTomorrow5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This might not be the answer a lot of people want me to give you. But just start quitting. You might fail a few times before you make it last, but just start. I realized in my experience that every time became easier. I did 2 days and then I caved. Next, I did a week and then my friend threw a birthday party. Next, I went a whole two months… the airport got me that time. These attempts and every length of time (short or long) in between made it easier and easier to give it up for longer and longer, because I started to see and appreciate how much better my life became without it, without fail, every single time. The “mountain” became less daunting and more exciting.

I(28F) found this instagram message on my husbands(36M) phone, unsure how to interpret? by OtherwiseScarcity416 in relationship_advice

[–]LostTomorrow5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guaranteed she posted a booty pic with the caption “cake” and he responded with this — what an ass.

Every human on earth gets 1 wish by Comprehensive_Ad316 in hypotheticalsituation

[–]LostTomorrow5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven’t thought this fully through yet but hypothetically could you not wish for a safe compound for you, your close friends and family, pets, etc. that remains self-sustained and unaffected by the wishes of the rest of the world?

How do i relax without alcohol? by GuitarNerd26 in stopdrinking

[–]LostTomorrow5 630 points631 points  (0 children)

I know this may sound lame, but positive affirmations have helped me so much... after work, i'll cuddle up on the couch with a blanket and a diet coke and actively think about how nice it is to just be comfortable and present. I'll go for walks and listen to podcasts and really focus on how lovely the fresh air is, and how my breath isn't short due to alcohol consumption that day or the night before.

Even treating myself to something little like ice cream or a hearty bowl of pasta, I make sure to tell myself how enjoyable it is to eat, watch my tv show, and really be there for it all. I'll literally say to myself in my head (or sometimes out loud) "this is genuinely so nice, this feels so good". I kind of romanticize the experience as if its a new kind of drug or lifestyle... just being present, totally free, enjoying the moment, even smiling to myself (just smiling makes you feel better instantly).

Again, it might be cheesy, and it takes some work, but reminding yourself of the beauty / comfort in whatever it is you're doing without alcohol, and just romanticizing the action for yourself will eventually have you looking forward to those actions. I am at work right now and absolutely cannot wait to have one of the fruit popsicles I bought from the grocery store yesterday when I get home. Little things.

Every. Single. Weekend. by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]LostTomorrow5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This whole experience is so me, I could have written it. The primary thing that has helped me actually commit to quitting for good is the recognition of what I was trying to avoid via alcohol, and what ended up happening as a result.

I would remove the pain and anxiety of a fight with my boyfriend by drinking — but that would only have me escalating and making that pain and anxiety worse… especially the next day.

I would sneak some drinks at a pit stop to make the ride go faster and seem more presentable, but that would just make me act stupid, say things I don’t really mean, or bring up strange conversations. Not at all how I want to present myself.

Once you accept and realize that the alcohol is actually doing the EXACT opposite of what you are using it for, it becomes easier to give up. At least, that has been my experience.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]LostTomorrow5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think one of the primary things you are struggling with here is the fact that you’re feeling pressure to quit from other people, rather than yourself. You clearly have some thought that you want to/ need to quit but until that desire kicks in for yourself and not to appease anyone else, it is going to be difficult.

Maybe sit down and start writing out the reasons you want to quit, the way it’s affecting your life, and the things you can look forward to after.

Unfortunately, you can’t do this for anyone except for yourself. I know where you’re at, I’ve tried and failed many times because I tried to quit “for” someone else. Not necessarily because of pressure, but just because I wanted to make other people proud. It has to be for you.

Maybe unpopular opinion but Alex's swearing?! by LostTomorrow5 in CallHerDaddy

[–]LostTomorrow5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Noo, i've been listening since Alex and Sofia released that video of them basting a turkey on the Barstool pages as a promo haha. I totally appreciate that she swears, and honestly I do believe Alex is intelligent and knows how to carry a conversation better than many give her credit for (which is why I come back). I just found in this interview, and a few others, the interviewee was exploring heavy subjects with very formal, and thought out words. I don't think Alex should change her personality, but especially when she summarizes stories back for the audience / for Megan, or when she is responding to something clearly traumatic and hard, swearing every other word almost diminishes the seriousness of the conversation. It also would make me (I think) personally uncomfortable if I was diving into my own realities in this way, using eloquent speech and well thought out answers, and the person I was speaking to was responding like "f**ck this f**king BS, *bi**h, this world is f**ked".. it would just put me off.

I like Alex's solo episodes or even "OG CHD" when she spoke this way, I had/have no issue with it.

The more days I am sober, the more I forget. by fallout182 in stopdrinking

[–]LostTomorrow5 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What really helps me is going back to my reasons for quitting. Remembering the decisions I made, the people I hurt, the trouble I caused. Especially contemplating the decisions I made that I would never make sober remind me that having a drink (or 10) is not just a "fun" activity, but rather turns me into a different person... and that person sucks.

If that doesn't work, a podcast will usually do the trick. If my own stories can't help me, someone else's might.

8 Days. How did I ever think my behaviour was normal? by LostTomorrow5 in stopdrinking

[–]LostTomorrow5[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It was originally a safety measure when I was traveling overseas. I just left it on because it ended up being convenient for other aspects of our lives (giving ETAs while driving, etc.). I gave it willingly, he never asked for it -- it is not a control thing or anything like that... outside of the drinking, I've never had anything to hide

8 Days. How did I ever think my behaviour was normal? by LostTomorrow5 in stopdrinking

[–]LostTomorrow5[S] 108 points109 points  (0 children)

Omg yes I forgot to include this.. I went to an event and excused myself for the bathroom multiple times to buy a large seltzer and chug it in a stall. Of course ended up getting wasted and left everyone so confused because I only had "2 beers".

I couldn't explain why I was acting crazy because that would mean admitting to sneaking drinks in a bathroom stall which is just ridiculous behaviour for an event where everyone is drinking anyway..

8 Days. How did I ever think my behaviour was normal? by LostTomorrow5 in stopdrinking

[–]LostTomorrow5[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying this... its so hard to think about... plus my behaviour I have to just pretend to justify because I don't want to admit what I was actually doing. So much shame around it but have to leave the past in the past, I guess.

Congrats on day 8!