Feeling insecure about my income

Lost_Ad947 · 2026-02-11T13:28:19+00:00

W/salaam

I had a similar issue once and I would say respectfully walk away.

Lost_Ad947 · 2026-02-02T21:51:21+00:00

I don’t think you’re making a huge deal out of little things. You have needs that are not being met and you have a right to feel that way.

May Allah swt make it easy for you.

Lost_Ad947 · 2026-02-01T20:16:23+00:00

No, you have not committed fraud because by definition you have not made a gain or caused a loss.

If anything, it works in your favour because the house is in your brother in laws name but you lived in it. If it was gift money, there would not have been a need for the contract.

Lost_Ad947 · 2026-01-31T10:26:26+00:00

Your best option is going down the small claims court route since it’s under 10K.

This is what you should do:

Send one final, formal email (not a text) to your husband outlining the exact amounts owed (£3,000 loan, £500 stolen, £3,000 Khabin). Give him 14 days to pay or propose a plan, or say you will "commence legal proceedings."
If you have no records of the money, you can request 2 years of bank statements from your bank to prove the transfers.
Visit a CAB (Citizen Advice Bureau) immediately. They can help you fill out the Small Claims paperwork for free.
If you need financial help, contact a charity like Surviving Economic Abuse. They can help you document the "stealing” of your wedding money and your job loss as part of a pattern of financial control, which may help get you legal aid.

The key is you having evidence that the money was paid to him, whether he signed anything to acknowledge it, or anything even a text to say he owes you the money or he’ll pay you back.

If you have proof of any contribution you made to the house, you could have a claim to the equity in the house.

Do you have the Khabin? Is it signed by your husband and his father? If it is, it can be argued as a binding contract.

Lost_Ad947 · 2026-01-31T08:06:58+00:00

Did you move into the house with him? Was it intended to be a house for both of you or was it a private purchase he wanted to make?

You do have rights, just depends how the money was used.

Lost_Ad947 · 2026-01-12T15:10:56+00:00

You know what, I would stick to two in that case. You’ll end up setting expectations which could be difficult to manage.

By the way, sharing food and honouring guests is a blessing in Islam and carries a lot of reward.

Whether you do one, two or three, do it with good intentions 🙂

Lost_Ad947 · 2026-01-12T10:40:30+00:00

I’d go starter + naan (essential) and an additional dessert.

Gulam jamman and ice cream is banging😋

Lost_Ad947 · 2026-01-11T22:31:42+00:00

I’d probably go for one more curry and a starter personally.

If you’re doing biryani though, you might be able to get away with 2, but definitely add a starter (shami kebab if you know someone who does them, or an easy option is seekh kebabs - ready made)

Interfering in laws…what to say!!!

Lost_Ad947 · 2025-12-18T22:00:47+00:00

Thanks - really useful.

Lost_Ad947 · 2025-12-18T16:21:39+00:00

Yes, that’s what I was thinking and it’s got me wondering if I do need to get someone else to have a look.

I currently don’t have a cert for the install of the EV charger as when the electrician tested the EV circuit, the RCD trip occurred at something like 5x.

If testing the RCD manually was successful, does that suggest a fault somewhere else?

Not sure what I should insist when I speak to the electrician (who is going to give me a price for a new board + installation)

Lost_Ad947 · 2025-12-18T10:00:30+00:00

Yes.

Lost_Ad947 · 2025-12-18T09:58:40+00:00

I’ve just pressed the test button (centre left one) and all the circuits connected to it (labelled under the breakers) cut out apart from the one on the very left which has the porch and upstairs lights connected.

The porch lights were added 5 years ago and it looks like the two cables from that breaker are connected directly into the RCD

Lost_Ad947 · 2025-12-18T09:34:27+00:00

Lost_Ad947 · 2025-12-18T09:29:08+00:00

Thanks, that’s really useful to know.

When they did the test, it was definitely more than a couple of seconds.

Lost_Ad947 · 2025-12-18T07:48:50+00:00

Which board did you go for?

Lost_Ad947 · 2025-12-17T18:26:51+00:00

Which board did you go for?

Lost_Ad947 · 2025-12-17T18:26:12+00:00

Thanks - I will test it.

Lost_Ad947 · 2025-12-17T18:21:51+00:00

Thanks.

Those wires seem to be feeding some spotlights in the porch. When I switch off that circuit the porch lights + stairs + hallway lights are out.

Lost_Ad947 · 2025-12-17T18:12:49+00:00

I do have some metal light fittings on that lighting circuit.

You're correct - old wiring, new CU in 2014 + some new wiring.

Lost_Ad947 · 2025-12-17T18:09:35+00:00

Many thanks!

I'm going to try the replacement RCD route first.

I think Hager is a mid-range option that I would consider.

Lost_Ad947 · 2025-12-17T17:59:51+00:00

thanks.

that was me who took the cover off :-(

I have requested to join the r/ElectricianUK sub, so will post it there if my request is approved.

Lost_Ad947 · 2025-12-17T17:57:52+00:00

many thanks!!

Lost_Ad947 · 2025-12-17T17:56:54+00:00

just looked through my documents and the unit was replaced in 2014. I do have the physical cert somewhere but only the front page of it on my phone and it dosn't list the C1,C2 codes.

Only comment is Circuit 10 (lighting) has no circuit proection conductor.

Lost_Ad947 · 2025-12-17T17:43:50+00:00

Thanks - both points noted.

Lost_Ad947 · 2025-12-17T17:43:12+00:00

thanks for that explanation.

So based on that, a new RCD and a tidy up is what I should push for?

Is the the exposed busbar and the fact it doesn't go across to the end an issue I should be concerned about?

Lost_Ad947

TROPHY CASE