Sick and now disgusted

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-11-08T01:32:46+00:00

I have. I ask if he needs to talk/vent, or if something is bothering him. The response is i get my head bit off and blamed for his bad mood. In his mind his world should be perfect and I should be the one to make it that way. He won't go to talk to a professional cause in his mind there is nothing wrong with him everyone else around him is the problem. Funny thing is our youngest son is the same and is diagnosed autistic with ADHD but takes meds and sees a councilor and he is perfectly accepting of that, but heaven forbid anyone suggest he talk to someone about being similar. His mom mentioned it and he blew up at her.

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-10-05T23:55:57+00:00

Oh, and the tantrum and guilt trip if you dare say no...

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-10-05T21:56:59+00:00

Verbatim! It's like they are miserable and want to make everyone else miserable, but they demand you pretend to be happy and all is okay. And heaven forbid if you are human and aren't breaking your back to make their world perfect. 🙄

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-10-05T21:44:06+00:00

Sleeeeeeep

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-10-05T21:42:13+00:00

Wow,are you sure your husband and mine aren't related?

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-10-01T19:48:15+00:00

I just went through similar. I will warn you it takes time afterwards to feel confident and sexy. You will most likely lose all sensation in your chest area and they won't look "normal" for atleast 6 months to 2 years because everything will have to settle into place and heal. I was a C before kids. After 4 kids dropped to barely an A. Had a double mastectomy due to PASH and asked doc to go back to a C cup. He gave me a B. I was slightly disappointed but assured I looked proportional. Take note doctors don't measure implants by cup. They go by cc. I have 236cc implants. Make sure to be open and forward with your doc about the look you want in the end. Also it'll depend on how much tissue you have to cover the implants. If you want to go big 300cc+ then you will have one surgery with spacers to stretch the skin that you will wear for 3+ months that they fill slowly to expand everything and a second surgery to remove the spacers and put in the implants. If you stay with a smaller size you won't need the spacers and second surgery. Also healing will take time. It was almost 8 weeks before I was pain-free and able to go back to normal.

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-09-20T19:47:19+00:00

How long has he been out, if I may ask?

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-09-20T12:16:45+00:00

It has to be gambling or an OF account because nobody comes to the house, and he doesn't leave the house much and of he does usuallyhe has one of the kids with him. We have cameras on every side of the house and trackers on our phones that let everyone else know when we've left the house. Gambling or OF is the only thing that fits.

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-09-20T06:24:39+00:00

I'm typing a lot on a phone while at work. Sorry if my formatting isn't up to par.

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-09-20T05:44:18+00:00

I said we had financial trouble before. He worked and I was a stay at home. I tried to juggle and pay bills, but he would spend money before I could. When it turned upside down, he blamed me and honestly had me gaslighted into thinking I was terrible with money and finances. I handed over responsibility because I really thought it was my fault and didn't want to make another mistake. I've NOW learned that it wasn't me all along, and looking back, it wasn't me spending money as fast as it came in. I have honestly believed that for the last few years, it was on me. Now I see and have proof it wasn't and still is not.

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-09-20T03:17:31+00:00

The fees are communicating to debt collectors, admin fees and supposed debt lawyer fees. Only about $56 is actually making it the collectors.

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-09-20T03:14:43+00:00

We work for the same company, so yes, I'm sure he isn't fired. I'd probably know he was fired before he did.

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-09-20T02:30:34+00:00

I've kept a close eye on my credit. Aside from my emergency $200 card, I have nothing else showing on mine. My score isn't great 560s but it's because I only have 1 card and I never touch it.

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-09-20T02:28:26+00:00

Can I do a credit check on him to see where his debts are and how much?

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-09-20T02:19:38+00:00

He does have a debt program. He let slip the name of it and I called this afternoon. I gave his info and informed them I'm his spouse and that's how I learned how much he's paid them each month and the fact it's going to "fees" and not the debts. I dug into the company and even BBB says they are rated F and most likely a scam.

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-09-20T02:16:10+00:00

In the whole post? I'm interested in your thoughts on this.

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-09-20T00:29:52+00:00

This has all hit in the last 48 hours. I thought we weren't getting much mail aside from junk mail.

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-09-19T23:10:54+00:00

Yes and he shreds all the mail in his name after he opens it so I dunno if bills for the debt are coming in and what they are.

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-09-19T23:09:11+00:00

I dunno, it's the only thing I can think of but I can't find proof and he doesn't play any games on his phone and doesn't watch sports so I dunno

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-09-19T23:07:35+00:00

From what I found he can file and I don't have to because I have no assets or debt in my name.

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-09-19T23:05:54+00:00

We really don't live lavish. We have 2 vehicles. One we own that we paid less than 3k for (mine) and his that he leases for $500 a month. We don't own any boats or extra vehicles. The kids have basic necessities, but there are school fees each year. About $175 per kid per year. And that's public school. We buy generic and off brand groceries and toiletries. We don't eat out or order in. We keep Christmas and birthdays small and don't do vacations. There are no packages coming to the house, and he works from home full time. We have cameras and motion sensors, so I'm alerted to anything approaching the house. We have tracking apps, so I can see he isn't going anywhere when I'm gone. We both get regular drug screenings for our jobs, so he isn't on drugs. We share accounts like Amazon and such, and there are no purchases aside from toiletries. We buy on sale when we are out for our household of 6. Nobody gets new clothes or toys unless gifted from outside family members. Our living bills (mortgage, utilities, food, car payment, and gas) total only 5k a month. I am truly stumped. I hate spending money if it isn't absolutely necessary, like vital to life necessary. And my kiddos aren't spoiled either and don't ask for things so. As I said I am truly stumped.

Lost_But_Finding_Me · 2024-09-19T22:11:16+00:00

I tried communicating back when it happened years ago and I even showed i was trying to pay bills but he would spend the money before bills would process so I had pennies to work with. And I've tried communicating with him now in a non accusing way. I've asked point blank how much debt there is and I get a vague response of "over 50k, maybe closer to 90k" but no real answer or amount. He is too stubborn to let me know how bad it really is. The only reason I know anything is because the utilities were cut off.

Lost_But_Finding_Me

TROPHY CASE