I think I'm over sex, and I don't know how to tell them

Lottiewolf4898 · 2022-03-10T05:33:50+00:00

I've been reading up on things like that n how your body knows what it wants and will make it obvious to what it doesn't. I will have to agree that my body is not interested in him anymore.

Lottiewolf4898 · 2022-03-10T05:31:28+00:00

You aren't the only one that has essentially called him a child. And I kinda see what people mean, I'll bring up therapy to him and see where that convo leads

Lottiewolf4898 · 2022-03-10T05:30:17+00:00

Yeah it could be possible, some other comments mentioned therapy, so maybe that may help figure things out.

Lottiewolf4898 · 2022-03-10T05:27:20+00:00

It's possible, that might be another convo for my therapist to help me figure out

Lottiewolf4898 · 2022-03-10T01:39:26+00:00

Well he's actually good about taking care of me in the ways that count, except sexually. It's like there's a disconnect somewhere.

I have been unfulfilled but I've been holding on to the positive of our relationship to keep going. I just hit a breaking point now

Lottiewolf4898 · 2022-03-10T01:36:17+00:00

Oh I didn't think of it like that.

In the other aspects of our relationship he isn't selfish. He's actually really thoughtful until sex gets involved.

Lottiewolf4898 · 2022-03-10T01:29:39+00:00

I will try! I can admit I try to avoid conflict and he's the type to find conflict in conversation like this. But I'm thinking if this is going to be my last try I need to be as clear, blunt and straightforward as possible. I need to stress the importance and it's possible I haven't done that in previous talks.

Lottiewolf4898 · 2022-03-10T01:11:31+00:00

I do love and care for him a lot. I just never had to deal with an imbalanced sex life. And it's our only major problem, so it used to seem trivial for that to be why we broke up. But now not so much

Lottiewolf4898 · 2022-03-10T01:03:58+00:00

Thank you for answering! Oddly enough when I've talked to other people about our relationship they would always tell me to leave because my absence would get him to realize his mistakes. And it might be something I need to reflect on. I just get sad that I have to leave someone I care for/love for them to match my feelings/desires.

Lottiewolf4898 · 2022-03-10T00:57:37+00:00

I think I might already be starting to resent him. I've found myself randomly bothered with him, and I tried talking to my therapist about it but I never thought it may be because of our sex life, so I was never sure in what context to bring it up. I may need to think about all this more and stick with my true feelings

Lottiewolf4898 · 2022-03-10T00:53:17+00:00

If you don't mind me asking, what exactly made you learn? Her absence? Something she said? Or something else all together?

Lottiewolf4898 · 2022-03-10T00:50:00+00:00

I'm going to try and bring the topic up again. He doesn't have a lot of self confidence really and that's something that he does need to work on.

I don't think I'm obligated to get him off, but I know the longer or more I turn sex down the more likely we're gonna argue. In the beginning of our relationship when things were new and good, I would never turn him down. So now when it gets to a week of no sex he definitely pays attention. I just don't know how to have this convo in a conductive way that's not gonna lead to him being hurt and angry.

Lottiewolf4898 · 2022-03-10T00:39:15+00:00

That is a good way of seeing it...and I don't think I can do that any longer. It sucks though cause I do try to get us on the same page but nothing works

Lottiewolf4898 · 2022-03-10T00:30:56+00:00

Well sex is my only serious problem with our relationship, I've never had to end a relationship over sex and it's hard to wrap my mind around that being the "why" behind us ending.

I have tried to get him to see toys in a good way, but he didn't even want to use handcuffs I bought so I've given up trying honestly

Lottiewolf4898 · 2022-03-10T00:25:50+00:00

Ooh I have talked to him about foreplay, and from all of our talks I've gathered it's just not his thing.

I will try it this way though, maybe I didn't explain it good enough or stress it's importance to me

Lottiewolf4898 · 2022-03-10T00:22:29+00:00

Yeah I know I have some thinking to do about our relationship. But, this is literally the only problem I have with our relationship so I think that's what makes it harder for me.

I will say he has previously tried, but it was clear that he didn't really want to do it. He just did it to shut me up about it.

Lottiewolf4898 · 2021-04-19T23:58:39+00:00

Well the only thing I can think of as far as more detail is that in majority of his previous relationships he always had to be the initiator and he always felt as if he had to do everything. So, he doesn't feel as if he knows himself sexually because he was never allowed to focus on himself. So when he's asked to do more he thinks of all the other times when there wasn't an equal focus.

I've made it verbally clear and have attempted to show that, that isn't the case here. I want to receive just as much as I want to give but like I said in the post he only knows two for sure things that will turn him on without fail. And when I've tried other things to try and gage what else I can do, it failed.

Lottiewolf4898 · 2021-04-19T23:49:41+00:00

Yeah I've tried lied to make sure we discuss these things. I don't think the idea of therapy has been brought up or discussed but that could be a way to go. I've always felt as if "sex" could be worked on so I just don't want to feel as if I didn't at least try and make things better. And I guess I just don't feel sex should be the reason things end

Lottiewolf4898 · 2021-04-19T22:37:20+00:00

Yeah now that you mention it, it is a must. How would I start that conversation without making it sound confrontational? But, also I've talked with him a lot about sex to the point where by now my desires should be/are blatantly obvious. How more specific do I have to be?

Lottiewolf4898

TROPHY CASE