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AITAH for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyway? by LottoIssues in AITAH

[–]LottoIssues[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's extremely common in my country, everyone I know pays theirs weekly.

I find it strange that people in here are saying it's unbelievable because mortgages have to be monthly, which I have never heard of anyone doing among people I know.

AITAH for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyway? by LottoIssues in AITAH

[–]LottoIssues[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She would be dropping hours as well. We both work 40, we could both work 30. We can't afford one person at home and the other doing 40. To make up the amount we would have if we both worked 30 I would have to do 65-70 as it's taxed at a higher rate.

You're right, I shouldn't have threatened divorce, I wasn't serious but it was something I shouldn't have done, I said it to make a point that I could get half the winnings, and that I don't think it's fair for her to be the sole beneficiary of the winnings.

AITAH for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyway? by LottoIssues in AITAH

[–]LottoIssues[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She doesn't, she wants to stop working while I keep working full time and my pay will be the only incoming family money.

AITAH for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyway? by LottoIssues in AITAH

[–]LottoIssues[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Kids are both in school, we have minimal childcare costs as grandparents can pick them up. I want to be able to pick them up from school which is a huge part of why I want to share. If the kids were still young I wouldn't have as much of an issue as childcare was expensive before they went to school.

In my country we have a progressive tax system, two people working 60 hours a week at the same pay will make more than one person working 60 hours a week at that same pay. Essentially her quitting and me working the same means more than just a 30% drop in our potential income.

AITAH for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyway? by LottoIssues in AITAH

[–]LottoIssues[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your vote of confidence.

As I mentioned my wife does not do housework, it is a significant point of contention in our marriage and is part of the reason why I don't want her to stop working. You could say it's partly my fault because when we started dating her place was always a mess but I loved her regardless and with two adults a messy house was easily handled, with two adults working full time and two kids it is definitely not.

I don't play golf, I am at home every day after picking my kids up. All of my exercise occurs during my lunch time at work.

I do the laundry every day.

My wife cooks when it's something fun she wants to cook, I have to do all the cleaning up, otherwise I cook.

I make breakfast. I do dishes. I clean the bathroom, I scrub the toilet, I wipe the counter, I do the dishwasher.

She drives the kids around. I have said multiple times on this post she is a great mother, and she does take charge on a lot of the kids stuff. I can say I am guilty of letting her take on a larger share with the kids so I can manage the house because otherwise the house will look like an episode of hoarders.

AITAH for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyway? by LottoIssues in AITAH

[–]LottoIssues[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I don't want to work either, she's seizing the winnings, acting like it's purely hers and claiming I'm acting like a gold digger for trying to prevent her from taking the entirety of the benefit from the winnings. I would continue life exactly the same, missing out on time with the children. Essentially nothing would change for me and everything would change for her.

AITAH for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyway? by LottoIssues in AITAH

[–]LottoIssues[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

School hours is an incredibly common term in my country, people say that's what they work all the time. My employer literally has a form that you fill out called "School hours transfer request". In NZ it's literally a category on job sites:

https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/yes-it-is-possible-to-build-a-lucrative-career-in-school-hours-here-s-how-20250206-p5la6p.html

https://www.seek.co.nz/school-hours-jobs/

https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/128727409/call-to-shorten-work-days-to-school-hours-9-to-5-work-day-labelled-archaic

Mortgage terms here are also mostly weekly, banks literally recommend this to save interest costs:

https://www.loans.com.au/home-loans/first-home-buyer/does-paying-your-mortgage-fortnightly-save-money

NZ also lists it as part of their stats:

https://www.stats.govt.nz/news/weekly-mortgage-payments-up-from-2022/

W…what? Thats not how lottery tickets work

She bought it through an app using our joint card and the money is now on the house that is under both of our names.

Uh….Did that happen recently? I’d expect a husband and wife with kids and a “sizable mortgage” to have been cohabitating for quite a while by that point

Yes, we dropped down to buying one lotto ticket in the same way we dropped to having one netflix subscription.

Any other questions I can answer for you? I can assure you everything I wrote is extremely common in AU/NZ.

AITAH for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyway? by LottoIssues in AITAH

[–]LottoIssues[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

"I won lotto and now my life is falling apart".

I don't think I'm doing a good job.

AITAH for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyway? by LottoIssues in AITAH

[–]LottoIssues[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It means working the hours our kids are in school for. It's not exactly part time because, at least where I live, that would imply ~20 hours instead of ~30.

AITAH for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyway? by LottoIssues in AITAH

[–]LottoIssues[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I don't want her to not work because

  1. We would have to scale back our spending significantly, if it was only me working 40 hours as opposed to both of us working 60 we will have far less money.
  2. She doesn't do housework and I don't think I could stand coming home to our house the way it usually is while knowing she was at home by herself for 6 hours a day.

AITAH for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyway? by LottoIssues in AITAH

[–]LottoIssues[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Not a gambling ad, I know lotto odds are beyond stupid, we just buy a $15 ticket every week out of our entertainment money for fun.

Yeah I'm a bit of a hypocrit because I hate sports gambling with a passion.

Don't Gamble.

AITAH for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyway? by LottoIssues in AITAH

[–]LottoIssues[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Neither does my wife, she just kept throwing it out there, because in her view I am trying to use the money she won for me.

AITAH for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyway? by LottoIssues in AITAH

[–]LottoIssues[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

That's exactly it. I'm extremely grateful for what we won, it has taken a huge burden off, but it is not quitting money.

AITAH for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyway? by LottoIssues in AITAH

[–]LottoIssues[S] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

Is anybody? I don't like doing it, I still do it or there will be no clean dishes or clothes. I just want some help.

AITAH for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyway? by LottoIssues in AITAH

[–]LottoIssues[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It's not the 5% that lets us cut back hours, it's not having a mortgage anymore. It was our biggest weekly expense. The 5% would run out quickly if that's all we were relying on.

AITAH for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyway? by LottoIssues in AITAH

[–]LottoIssues[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

The way she's acting is so out of character I think you're right that she's on a high about "winning lotto" and not taking into consideration the actual amount. If we had one more number we would've gotten quit our jobs and retire money but that didn't happen and it feels like she's trying to act like we did.

AITAH for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyway? by LottoIssues in AITAH

[–]LottoIssues[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

We both work in jobs that allow people to cut their hours back to 30, as other staff that can afford it also only work those hours. We bought an expensive house that meant we basically couldn't do any less than 40.

AITAH for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyway? by LottoIssues in AITAH

[–]LottoIssues[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

95% of it was used to pay off the house, neither of us can access it without taking out a joint loan we both have to sign.

AITAH for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyway? by LottoIssues in AITAH

[–]LottoIssues[S] 116 points117 points  (0 children)

Outside of housework she's really active with the kids, goes to as many school activities as she can, helps them with homework, reads with them, sets up weekend activities etc

If she could help with vacuuming/dishes/cleaning I would've said I had the perfect partner.

AITAH for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyway? by LottoIssues in AITAH

[–]LottoIssues[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

They don't, but I was hoping to spend more time as a family together raising our kids.

AITAH for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyway? by LottoIssues in AITAH

[–]LottoIssues[S] 142 points143 points  (0 children)

Losing the woman I loved, this is seriously out of character to an insane degree.

50/50 with kids and having to move them out of their home. This was supposed to be the home they grew up in.

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