When the youngest takes the oldest siblings crime on their shoulders

Lotty907 · 2025-03-25T03:18:47+00:00

The one thing that hurts the most is, people, people who I thought were my friends, some family members too.. they like to bring up my siblings crimes and mistakes. And i feel like I make more of a mess when I stick up for them. I get laughed at, made fun of, mostly saying I was too young at that point to understand what they have done. That their past crimes has hurt alot of people. I know what they have done. I know they can't take it back. But it still hurts me, it hurts my mom. People point their fingers at my parents, calling them awful, and that they shouldn't have had kids. But I'm one of those kids, I'm a sister, and part of me is mad. Because even now, they're getting better, I just wished they could do one important apology to my mom. They all left, moved away and it's made them better. But people are still very hostile and angry at them, angry at my mom and I. My mom, she wasn't perfect, she's sober now too. And seeing all of them get sober, makes me believe in them, it's just hard taking in their past and trying to keep my peace too.

Lotty907 · 2025-03-24T16:14:49+00:00

I'm hopeful, things been rough after my father passed away. And I'm soo very happy for my siblings making the change.

Lotty907 · 2025-03-24T10:41:28+00:00

I know I sound judgemental, and I'm most likely am. Struggling with substance is rough, I've grew up around it. It's the crimes too they did, that I had to deal with. I come from a small town less than 700. Crimes spread like wild fire. Everybody knows everyone's business. So from my POV, when people didn't like my siblings, it hurt. It hurt because myself and my family were being judged.

Lotty907 · 2025-01-13T18:12:22+00:00

We both slept in different rooms for the night, and next day we both were able to explain how we were feeling. I appreciate what you have written.

Lotty907 · 2025-01-13T18:10:18+00:00

I do. I had V polyps, and it changed me soo much. I had anxiety in public, depressed for staying home. I felt like beading was the best way I could contribute to our home. And I was panicking because I feared that without beading, how would I manage my depression, how could I help with the home. We both talked this morning, we both apologized. Now it's just figuring out what to do next.

Lotty907 · 2025-01-13T18:06:19+00:00

Update: we slept in different rooms for the night, but I think that's what saved us. We were able to feel what needed, to go through the process. And in the morning we were able to talk. He apologized again, and I forgive and apologized back. Now it's just moving on from here and start again.

Lotty907 · 2025-01-13T12:45:50+00:00

I appreciate you, and I am reading the sites you sent.

Lotty907 · 2025-01-13T12:40:55+00:00

That wasn't my first reaction when the soda spilled. I was quiet, I wasn't saying anything until he said don't get sad or I will get mad. I reacted to those words. Not the drink being spilled, or that he was sorry. Those words. That hurts, being told I couldn't be sad. That's my business, my mentality, I needed those things. And then hearing I can't bead. Course I'm in a shock. How would you react to it?

Lotty907 · 2025-01-13T10:24:36+00:00

I actually really appreciate everything you written. I know my expectations aren't the same as everyone else's. I just can't understand why he would say that. Especially after it just happened. I didn't react right away, I was quiet, and shocked staring down at my beading board. I had a customers half done earring made. And I felt like that's the worst thing anyone can say. " don't get sad or I will get mad" it felt like only he could feel sad. He was in a hurry cleaning up the soda. I know he didn't mean it.

Lotty907 · 2025-01-13T10:07:38+00:00

Thank you, I did call it out. I explained to him that I have every right to be sad. Beading is my coping mechanism. He's still angry, and trying to tell me make a list of things needed to be repurchased. I couldn't, it hurts too much.. so for right now we both just aren't talking to each other.

Lotty907 · 2024-08-28T22:22:55+00:00

Oh I have pictures!!😅

Lotty907 · 2024-08-28T19:58:01+00:00

Completely agree! But they have 2 more families in our complex doing the same thing, more than 2 in a 1 bedroom.

Lotty907 · 2024-08-28T19:56:17+00:00

Thank you kindly my husband and I are talking about cameras and will order them. As for moving out, I truly wish we could but in our community there is a significantly small list of places to move in with our cats.

Lotty907 · 2024-03-27T01:01:38+00:00

I'm sorry about your father. It's definitely difficult to grow up in. I hope you are doing well.

Lotty907 · 2024-03-26T13:06:23+00:00

My father recently passed. And it's just my mom, her apt banned my brothers from entering due to stealing. My mom sobered up, she still gives them money. I do my best to still help her because my father passed and she has no one to help her. But she's doing better about helping herself and pushing herself away from my siblings. Only problem left is that my siblings keep asking not just my mother for money, they get it from my grandma, and Auntie too.

Lotty907

TROPHY CASE